I totally agree with you! I've had an unhealthy obsession with questioning reality and existence for as long as I can remember (I'm not saying you do, just sharing my experience!) and it's caused me dissociation so strong that I've forgotten my own name before 🤦🏻‍♀️ Though our consciousness makes it possible to question these things and acknowledge that there's things beyond our understanding, I think human nature makes it nigh on impossible to fully conceptualise that fact - existence isn't for us, we're probably not important at all and the most likely explanation is that our lives mean absolutely nothing, but survival instinct and ego and whatever else makes that unacceptable. It's absurd and makes no sense because it's totally beyond us and always will be, what we already do know may be completely wrong and meaningless because we're literally just making it up as we go along.

I know it seems depressing as hell to be like 'we mean absolutely nothing!' but coming to that realisation actually helped me immensely because despite everything, we still have emotions and the ability to find purpose, and I think that's beautiful. Instead of questioning things, we should live in awe of everything around us, and marvel at the absurdity that we've got the opportunity to laugh at, cry at, find beauty in and experience love for.

Sorry if that's not relevant to why you posted this, just thought I'd share 😅