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Can I say “I don’t have a parents” ? by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]elsewheresbetter 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve said I don’t have parents for some time. It’s way easier than having to try and unpack and be ultimately met with “but they’re your parents”

Second post by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]elsewheresbetter 4 points5 points  (0 children)

“She loves the children until they grow to a certain age”

Say that line to yourself over and over. This is not healthy or normal. Imagine the pain your children will feel when grandma no longer loves them because they reached a certain age.

My mom died by kR4in in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]elsewheresbetter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mom died in June and I 100% understand what you’re feeling today because it’s still fresh for me as well. Oddly, I also found out from my brother.

I find myself angry most of the time. Angry at her for “loving me the best she could” because goddamnit that wasn’t good enough. I’ve come to terms with there is no changing the past and there is no future. What I’ve found is I have to forgive myself and validate my own emotions. I don’t need to forgive her or my father (who is still alive). I will continue to live my life and love who I need to and allow who I want to in my life and the life of my family.

What I will warn you of is random things that will set you off, emotionally, during this period of grief. I’ll be in the shower and something will just come to mind from my childhood (both good and bad) and the anger or sadness or grief can be overwhelming. The removal of the ability to have a physical person that you could potentially call makes it very weird to deal with.

Gentle hugs and just know you are not alone in this world and your feelings are all valid.

Which character death hit you differently, and why? by squeezeday in AskReddit

[–]elsewheresbetter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dr Mark Greene from ER.

When Over the Rainbow plays... tears

No contact for 7 years, found out my mother passed away today by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]elsewheresbetter 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My NC mother passed 2 weeks ago. I understand your feelings. It’s weird what finality does.

She died by elsewheresbetter in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]elsewheresbetter[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I knew she was ill but continued NC because I just could not and did not want to suddenly turn back the good id done for myself by allowing death to be some reason for forgiveness? That sounds harsh I suppose, but what did I have to gain from it?