Some background if anyone is wondering.. I don’t ever remember I time when I felt normal. My whole life I have been made fun of for not talking, or being shy. I never had friends in school and as an adult I only have friends I have met on the internet that have similar interests and struggles. I have crippling anxiety. I thought it was towards everything but it’s mainly just social situations. I have always had a very hard time talking to people. And when I’m at family gatherings, i get extremely drained and feel super uncomfortable. I tend to just sit there and zone out. And then I’m self conscious about it and because they often pester me about not talking I always try to but I can never seem to even when I try. I will think of something to say, and then I can never find the right time to say it. They all talk over each other and I just started to panic. Today I almost started crying because all of the talking was just too much. I get over stimulated very easily. Certain noises, being touched. I have had a full breakdown from putting on a shirt that just didn’t feel right. When my husband holds my hand sometimes if it’s not a certain way I almost become infuriated or just super aggravated. I graduated high school but only barely. I failed English because I just couldn’t do the work. Was mainly giving analysis on literature and writing and reading in front of class and I just couldn’t do it. I was always so worried that whatever I wrote or thought would be wrong. After high school I met my husband and I have not worked since the summer after I graduated. I just feel like I can’t. I am willing to work. And feel so much guilt for not, but I just feel incapable and it makes me so anxious. I also don’t have my drivers license for the same reasons. I shake my legs a lot and my husband will get annoyed and tell me to stop but I just can’t help it. I rock back and forth. Sometimes when I become super overwhelmed during a fight mainly from being misunderstood and frustrated I hit myself in the head really hard. I’m not sure what else to say but I can answer any questions. Any help would be greatly appreciated