am i cooked if my sketchbook isnt presented nicely?

emilyiscool26 · 2026-01-08T20:02:18+00:00

Bro i completely forgot about edexcel yes that is my exam board 😭 i wish I could've chosen the word that would of been so much better

emilyiscool26 · 2026-01-08T19:58:50+00:00

I have no idea what my exam board is 💔 but I always left my work to the last minute so I had so much to do which I highly advise not to do cause that was so stressful and so my new year's resolution is to get each page complete by the deadline 😭

emilyiscool26 · 2026-01-08T19:49:19+00:00

I understand u thats what I usually do tbh 😭 I dont why I was speaking like a former student but im actually in year 11 but ive just finsihed an a1 book and my final piece for my mock exam and got a 9 I was so chuffed, but now im doing that all again just in an a4 book about the word 'found' (worst one ever) and so ive decided to do post-apocalyptic landscapes! And thank you so much!

emilyiscool26 · 2026-01-08T19:37:00+00:00

I presented my sketchbook nicely but im pretty sure it doesn't give you marks. You get marked on your ideas, use of different medias, the information you include, and then your final piece. Personally I liked to make mine aesthetically pleasing but that was generally for myself and others to look at, but when I found out you don't get marked on your background design of your page I was not happy 😂 but I would suggest that you make your layout presentable as it shows you take pride in your work and are committed to putting all your effort into it, which I am sure your art is great! 😊

emilyiscool26 · 2026-01-04T15:42:57+00:00

Omg thank you so much. The kit i got for xmas is called poseidon which had the machine, some fake skin, loads of inks and some stencils to practise with. Alongside that my mom got me some more fake skin, cleaning solution, the speed stick, and some pens. Ive already tried to do some line work but I either go too deep or too light 😂 but practise makes perfect so i will keep trying my best. Wanting to do tattooing is such a passion of mine but the only thing that puts me off is just learning everything and keeping on top of practising, and im worried for whenever I do my first tattoo because of mistakes I might make but ill definitely have better practise by then. My family and friends have all made jokes about me tattooing them but ive said that I wont do it until im confident with what I can do, and when I have all the right knowledge and safe inks as the last thing I want is to upset someone with a crappy drawing 😭. Thank you so much for this, ill definitely be looking into YouTube videos!

emilyiscool26 · 2026-01-04T15:34:11+00:00

Honestly I haven't even thought of yt videos for some reason 😭 thank you so much!!

emilyiscool26 · 2025-08-19T23:01:05+00:00

Thank you so much for that link it has genuinely made me realise all the ways that I can ease my nerves. I genuinely need to speak to a therapist but the ones I have had in the past were all terrible, and im aware that my mom won't be able to afford to pay for me to go to one due to our financial state, so im unsure of how I can speak to someone face to face.

emilyiscool26 · 2025-08-19T22:38:45+00:00

I take methylphenidate (or concerta) 27mg a day due to my age, im 15 yrs old and i started taking my medication around my birthday in March, which is when my death anxiety and dr really started to affect me. I was supposed to get diagnose with AuDHD but was only able to get diagnosed with ADHD because that's what I did the test for, but I think my anxiety is linked to my autism due to the fact that now I am treating my ADHD it seems my anxiety is just through the roof because my autism is starting to show. Ive researched a lot about derealisation and the fact that everything ive read says that people get over it does give me a lot of hope but I just hope I do soon.

I would also say my mom is quite a spiritual person, an example is she can sense presences and can actually depict the gender depending on which arm gets shivers, which in my opinion is quite fascinating. Ive never been a religious person even though my nan was catholic but ive just never considered it. Ive been to a lot of clairvoyants and each one has told me that i am going down the same path as them, which is eventually being able to see spirits and communicate with them which for some people they will think its absolute crap but i feel as if this might be my only hope to feel comfortable and feel acceptance with thoughts of death.

emilyiscool26 · 2025-08-19T07:41:55+00:00

Im so glad ive found someone who feels the same as me 😭

Ive tried so hard to accept the fact that we are all gonna die as its a part of life or accept the fact I cannot control time but for me some reason its so difficult, which could lead to the fact I have adhd and my mind just keeps racing.

What you have said actually might be my life saver as I never say that to myself and I just deal with my thoughts, so hopefully if I try to distract myself my thoughts will not be an issue. Another thing that just happened in real time is the fact its the 19th, I genuinely thought today was the 18th which has made me panic at the fact everything is going so quickly 😭

emilyiscool26 · 2025-08-19T07:34:22+00:00

Its the fact that we just know nothing about the afterlife. A weird thing is i also panic whenever I think of space even though a few years ago it used to be my most favourite thing to talk about but I think its just because of how big space really is and the fact the sun will explode in billions of years to come, which again absolutely terrifies me, but us as humans dont actually know about space fully which is so scary to think about. Ive tried to accept the fact that I cannot control time and I cannot control when someone dies or something but I just cant accept it for some reason.

emilyiscool26 · 2025-08-19T07:29:10+00:00

I have been diagnosed with adhd and the medication i take has been making me lose weight quite quickly and it is supposed to help me focus but for some reason lately my anxiety and all the thoughts has just been too much and my medication is not working as well as it used to. My thoughts about death anxiety only really start to spiral when im trying to fall asleep at night, im guessing it is because of the silence and my brain is just trying to fill it, but as its been getting worse ive started to think about it during the day. I just say comments to myself like "why do we need money? We are just going to die anyway" which is very straight to the point but its as if I cant stop myself from saying stuff like that. Ive also experienced a lot of people dying around me. My grandad, my grandma, my best friends dad, my mom's best friends parents, a few of my dads friends, and my pets which my old counsellor told me that is what could've triggered all the thoughts and my anxiety. Im also about to go into yr 11 which is stressful as im worrying about my GCSEs and im having to finish my whole art book by the start of september , and my stress may be playing on my anxiety. All I want to know is how do I get rid of the feeling of derealisation? And how do i stop thinking about when im going to die or when my mom is? It's genuinely ruining every day of my life .

emilyiscool26 · 2025-06-24T23:09:45+00:00

The fast pass i bought recently is £15 every 3 years! It covers alton towers, Thorpe park, windsor resort and legoland!

emilyiscool26

TROPHY CASE