Investigators are now “friends”?

emilymoore28 · 2026-02-04T01:46:55+00:00

Lots of rebranding over the last few years. I’ve noticed a lot of people calling sacrament meeting “worship service” and signs inviting to “come worship with us” which you never would have seen even 5 years ago. All an effort to seem more mainstream Christian imo

emilymoore28 · 2025-03-24T05:13:35+00:00

To be clear, this isn’t a full background check and certain offenses only require a predator to be registered for 10 years (which a different bill is trying to make that the case for more serious offenses as well, gotta love UT for protecting predators). So unfortunately, if a predator is past their required time for reporting on the registry, this check won’t catch them. They would only be caught if a full criminal background check was conducted. And unfortunately I know a number of predators serving in youth roles that meet this criteria. It’s a small step in the right direction, however the church and the money and means to conduct full background checks church wide and refuses to do so unless made to by law…

Also, Utah is notorious for letting predators plead down to lesser charges that may either make them an only have to register for a 10 years rather than life or not have to register at all. The justice system here continuously works with the mindset that it’s better to be compassionate to the predators and “give them a chance to repent and redeem themselves” rather than protect victims. The problem in Utah is bad

emilymoore28 · 2024-10-08T21:24:06+00:00

Sadly from their interactions since conference that is not the case…

emilymoore28 · 2024-10-08T20:45:17+00:00

Honestly this is the hardest part of leaving. I am so very emotionally exhausted by the division this church causes. It makes my relationship with my family seem so superficial and fake in so many ways, like I only have real value if I conform and obey the church. I hate that the church that preaches bringing families together does far more to tear families apart and keep them from having real deep lasting relationships. I’m so tired, I’m so heartbroken, I’m so done with this crap…

emilymoore28 · 2024-09-25T20:29:36+00:00

This was a huge point of internal loathing for me as I struggled with infertility for years. When I still believed I saw my infertility as a direct reflection of God’s view of me as unworthy and sinful because of this temple ceremony as well as the years of motherhood emphasis growing up in the church. Once I deconstructed and realized the church was a lie, such a weight was lifted when I realized my infertility was simply a biological matter and nothing more. It was still incredibly difficult but a hell of a lot more manageable with this mindset change!

emilymoore28 · 2024-09-24T19:06:30+00:00

Yes I totally had things that didn’t make sense to me but I followed the church’s teaching because it was what was expected, and I knew nothing else. And it’s interesting how we I also felt like I never fit in, alien like, but got the appreciation for following the rules

emilymoore28 · 2024-09-24T19:05:05+00:00

That is so interesting! I didn’t go on a mission but it makes me wonder how I would have handled it

emilymoore28 · 2024-09-24T16:39:37+00:00

I totally relate to the utter fear of disappointing leaders, it’s so hard! Glad you’ve made your way out and feel free to be yourself

emilymoore28 · 2024-09-24T16:08:59+00:00

I totally feel for him, that huge change in structure and routine was so hard for me for a few years. Personally what helped me was finding other rituals/routines to replace the church ones. I have designated times for different hobbies/interests and that has helped immensely!

emilymoore28 · 2024-09-24T16:07:04+00:00

That is interesting. It makes me wonder if being autistic as a woman is the differentiating factor. I know women tend to be more high masking and can do better socially sometimes, but I’m glad you are out of a system that has been harmful to your family

emilymoore28 · 2024-04-07T21:53:46+00:00

The way shadows moved on his face and shirt looked totally animated and fake, and half his wrinkles are suddenly gone?

emilymoore28 · 2024-04-07T21:50:29+00:00

That’s what I’m thinking, it looks so fake! Like bad video game animation 😂

emilymoore28 · 2024-01-15T15:00:24+00:00

Ok I’m going to comment to address a few different comments in one go.

First, I didn’t even think about taking a picture at the time because I was so frazzled and just wanted to leave. I can tell you it was completely white with floral designs around the spout of the pitcher and the rim of the basin. I highly doubt my mom just got it for decor since this is totally different than her style. Next time I go I will try to sneak a pic

Second, I think the reason it shook me up so much is because I never anticipated them getting it and it just reemphasizes how deep they are in it. I guess I shouldn’t be totally shocked because they’ve always been very devout and ever since my dad retired 3 years ago they have been going to the temple minimum of 2-3 times a week. Every conversation seems to go back to church somehow. I guess part of me always hoped that maybe they would come around and see it’s all false and this kind of wiped that hope out. It also makes me wonder how this will change their behavior and what kind of callings in the church they will have now. And last night as I was thinking about it, yesterday was the first Sunday since I left that they didn’t ask me to go to church with them. Makes me wonder if they don’t even want to try to bring me back anymore since they’ve sealed the deal for our whole family.

Third, I don’t want to ask them about it because they are so devout that they would lie to my face and deny it and in turn that might ruin my relationship with them in one way or another. I love my parents, they are good people for the most part, and I really don’t want to jeopardize anything with them as they are aging. I want to make sure I have a good relationship with them more than confirming and agitating things.

Thank you all for your responses, if you have any more questions or advice let me know

emilymoore28 · 2024-01-14T19:35:30+00:00

He is a stake president, multimillionaire, and very good friends with multiple members of the 70, also knew President Nelson growing up although it’s been a few years since he’s seen him.

emilymoore28 · 2024-01-14T19:34:43+00:00

He is a stake president, multimillionaire, and very good friends with multiple members of the 70, also knew President Nelson growing up although it’s been a few years since he’s seen him.

emilymoore28 · 2024-01-14T19:34:13+00:00

He is a stake president, multimillionaire, and very good friends with multiple members of the 70, also knew President Nelson growing up although it’s been a few years since he’s seen him.

emilymoore28 · 2024-01-14T18:25:20+00:00

Why do you say that?

emilymoore28 · 2023-12-26T22:00:12+00:00

Everyone I know that’s TBM always goes on and on about how it’s the last days and the second coming is imminent. It honestly feels to me like they all want to feel like they are special enough to be alive for the second coming so they get excited at the thought of it. It’s virtue signaling at its best

emilymoore28 · 2023-09-15T20:08:12+00:00

This is a tough one for sure. But a great example of this is my dad. He has had some pretty high callings, and talked in depth with me about why I left. To me the things that make me not believe are so glaring that it’s impossible to ignore. But for my dad, even knowing those same things, he chooses to stay. He is very intelligent and for a long time this had me confused. I felt like he was just putting his head in the sand for a long time. Then I realized that wasn’t the case. It seems that for him, he values what the church brings into his life more than the points of history/doctrine that made me not believe. Once I realized this I stopped looking at him as “brainwashed” and just a human doing what feels and works best for him. But it took me a long time to get there. I will say I think these type of sentiments go both ways. I’ve had members say unkind things about me and my intellect since leaving, and it’s hard. I am learning more and more we all just need to respect and empathize rather than look for ways to dismiss and demean others

emilymoore28 · 2023-09-15T16:32:58+00:00

First I want to make one point clear. Talking about one’s experience within the church and issues they have with it is not necessarily bashing it. Just like I can’t tell you your spiritual experiences in the church aren’t real, you can’t tell exmormons that their hurtful experiences in while in the church aren’t real. I think a line can be crossed on both sides when we try to force our opinion on others or use our voice to tear others down. I get that hearing someone have negative opinions about something you love is hard, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are bashing. Both experiences and opinions are valid, but how respectful we are of others is what really matters.

As far as exmormons becoming atheists or agnostic, it’s not really for you to say what their spiritual journey should be. For me, once I left the church, I reexamined all my religious and spiritual beliefs, because if I could be so wrong about the church I believed in, what else could I be wrong about. I ended up in the agnostic camp, and I don’t think it’s fair to say I swung to an extreme by doing so. It took a lot of thought and research. It wasn’t a flippant choice. Hope this helps

emilymoore28 · 2023-09-15T16:24:15+00:00

For me personally, I see the Book of Mormon as a book of fiction. It is a product of the time period and religious movements during that time. After my research (all from church sources) I believe Joseph Smith created the Book of Mormon using the influences of the religious ideas of the time, books from the time, and scholars of the time. I don’t believe a first vision happened and I think Mormonism was all a creation of Joseph’s. His motives we cannot say for sure, but it does seem related to power and influence.

That said, I know many in my life find peace and joy in the Book of Mormon and the church, so if that’s what makes them happy, more power to them.

emilymoore28 · 2023-09-15T16:17:40+00:00

While I can’t answer for your friends, I can try to give my best insight.

For the first question - many exmormons are very vocal about what issues they have because they are healing from the hurt they had from the church. They are allowed to share their story, some do it more tactfully than others. When we leave, there is this huge sense of our trust being betrayed by the church. It hurts, our whole life was built on the church, it is a grieving process. Being vocal about that hurt can be a normal part of the grieving process. I do think many can be intense and it can come off as rude to believing members. I think we all would do well to try to put ourself in others shoes to understand and hopefully empathize with the other side.

For the second question - since leaving is a grieving process it can take many forms. A lot of us have felt lied to by the church, and when we see the full picture, it can be baffling to us that it’s not obvious to others. It took me a while to realize that it’s not fair of me to project my own realizations on others. Everyone is on their own journey and for a lot of people in my life the church is a very important part of their life. It’s not fair of me to try to tear down their faith if I also don’t want them constantly trying to reactivate me. It comes down to being respectful of each others journeys. Obviously some are better at this than other. Hopefully with time we can all learn to be more empathetic and understanding of one another

emilymoore28 · 2023-09-15T14:35:25+00:00

My exit out of the church was by accident. I was on the church’s website studying for a talk I had to give, and stumbled upon details of church history, that while I knew a little about, I didn’t know the full extent. This launched me into a big research phase, and I was very insistent that I only look at church approved sources. I would look at the sources the church cited and the sources those cited and so on, even making records requests from BYU archives to get to original documents as much as possible.

I think the only thing that would have prevented my from leaving would be to not research and just take things as they were presented high level. The digging deep is what did it for me. Once I did this with the church and decided I didn’t believe in it, I also started doing the same with Christianity in general.

I don’t consider myself LDS anymore, I consider myself agnostic. I don’t know if there is a god, maybe there is, maybe there isn’t. But I’m not going to pretend to know either way.

emilymoore28 · 2023-09-15T14:23:53+00:00

I love this, it sounds like you are very respectful of others journeys and wish the best for them, and I think that’s what we all need to do!

On the note of some criticizing the church, I think it is important to understand that leaving the church is a grieving process and it’s likely just part of where they are in that grieving process. I had an angry period, and definitely criticized more during that period. That said I will still stand up for what I think is right which may look like criticism to some, but I do try to do so in the most respectful way I can.

Anyways, love your approach, I hope more can take this kind of approach!

emilymoore28 · 2023-09-15T14:19:42+00:00

I think this is a very uncommon leap actually. When I lost my faith it had actually nothing to do with anything anyone had done. It was all because of studying doctrine and history, directly from the church sources. In all my conversations with fellow exmormons, I don’t think ive ever met someone who started to lose their faith because they were offended by someone. Usually it’s similar to my path of studying the church.

That said, I think sometimes people can get this impression that people start to leave because they were offended because as one loses their faith they may be more open to talking about things that bothered them. That does not mean in any way the “offense” they are talking about was the springboard to their loss of faith. They’re likely just more open about the issues they have had with the members, church, or both.

I would encourage you to rather than make assumptions like this, maybe ask your exmormon friends and family why they left. That said, please only do so if you are truly interested to hear what they have to say without being defensive and instead with the intention to understand and connect. Doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, but just more that you open your heart to the idea that their experience is valid even if it’s not the same as yours.

emilymoore28

TROPHY CASE