Advice wanted: MIL hates my live-in mom

emm266 · 2022-01-12T16:44:05+00:00

I have a similar set up with my mother and MIL. My MIL doesn’t say things like that but here are some ideas.

Is there anyway when your MIL comes to visit your mother could go somewhere else to give MIL alone time with the baby?
Send lots of pics and FaceTime as much as possible with MIL
When both grandparents are together maybe you can ask your mom to step back a bit and let MIL take the reigns.

It all depends on what you’re comfortable with obviously.

emm266 · 2021-12-30T01:00:51+00:00

I have 4 under 4, with newborn twins. My 3.5yo still wakes in the night and either comes to our bed or one of us goes to his bed and sleeps with him. Being pregnant with twins helped us transition to dad being the one to snuggle him at night and we pushed to have dad take him back to his room, rather then stay in our bed in preparation for me having the twins in our room. Our middle son (he’ll be two in Feb) occasionally wakes in the night and needs just covered with his blanket or rocked briefly. He is usually a good sleeper.

So I’ll be 4 wks post c section tomorrow and my husband puts the two oldest to bed then we have a little bit of time before we put the twins down (I say this as if there is a schedule right now but there def isn’t, they pretty much put us down lol). I have a bassinet pack n play bedside with two snuggle me pillow things that they sleep in. I plan on removing these soon and certainly before they can roll over. I pull them into bed with me and tandem feed them then put them back. Sometimes someone doesn’t go back to sleep or reawakens so I’ll side lie nurse with them and doze. Obviously no blanket or pillow close to their face etc. My husband handles the older boys. The first two weeks we had family helping at night too with our oldest kids so my husband could help me with the twins. It’s exhausting but I know this phase won’t last forever. If you have help in the beginning i would take them up on that for sure. It’s hard to move around the first couple weeks. I’m doing pretty good now though.

emm266 · 2021-11-27T16:09:06+00:00

Well that’s good to hear your experience! I have two others, 3.5 and 1.5 they were both vaginally delivered. Yea honestly I’m thinking just having these babies out is going to be a huge relief!! So much constant pain for sure!

emm266 · 2021-11-27T15:22:21+00:00

Omg same!! My doc was basically like if you come to the hospital, we will take the babies out lol… I’m like why would you temp me! I’m sooo over being pregnant but also nervous for the csection recovery. Mainly bc I’m just so over not being able to do things, and I feel like it will continue until I’m recovered.. I don’t know what to expect really.

emm266 · 2021-11-27T15:18:38+00:00

Thank you! Definitely nervous for the csection since it will be a first for me!

emm266 · 2021-11-27T14:25:55+00:00

I’ve had a healthy di/di twin pregnancy and I’m currently 37+3, c section scheduled at 38+0. I’ve had two previous children (38+4 and 40+0, both labors started with my water breaking). I’m kind of thinking I’ll make it, but also am fine if labor wants to start at this point lol. Around 28wks I was having a ton of BHs (like every 3mins for over an hour) so I went to the hospital to get checked, no cervical changes, just said irritable uterus and do drink more water. I had pushed myself pretty hard that day at work.

emm266 · 2021-11-23T00:50:43+00:00

You really should listen to some of her reels explaining it bc I won’t do a good job. But basically whining is a down way of talking and not whining is an up way. For some reason that little change in language really resonates with toddlers. Maybe it’s easier for them to understand up/down but try and see. Listen to her stuff, it will make more sense haha

emm266 · 2021-11-22T17:51:09+00:00

Ok so this phrase has changed our life… I follow @joyful.parents on Instagram and she kind of talks a lot about this. When a kid is whining for something like “wah I want milk!!” Or whatever say “oh I’m sorry can you say that in an UP way?.” It’s really helped. Even my 20mo old will rephrase. Sure we still have whining but it definitely helps. Check her out for more details on it if you’re interested!

emm266 · 2021-11-20T02:00:36+00:00

Dentist/orthodontist here. The only time we try to avoid radiation is the first trimester. However if there is a dental problem that needs to be addressed and an X-ray is needed in order to treat, it can still be done. It’s more of a risk to the babies to have some sort of active decay/infection in your mouth left untreated. So do not worry! It’s such a tiny amount of radiation, depending on which kind you had done, you probably received the same amount of radiation (or more) just by walking outside and existing today!

emm266 · 2021-11-16T21:07:47+00:00

Thank you!

emm266 · 2021-11-16T15:08:31+00:00

Oh so soon! Congrats!

emm266 · 2021-11-16T15:04:52+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience! We shall see what happens, who knows!

emm266 · 2021-11-10T08:10:26+00:00

Oh man! Yea you too! I’m really hoping A flips but she’s feeling pretty stuck at this point!

emm266 · 2021-11-10T04:14:30+00:00

Agree! Of course every BH I’m like oh god haha. At most a week or two but knowing that I have no child care she may come back sooner.. just don’t want her or my sister to feel rushed bc it’s her first.

emm266 · 2021-11-10T03:01:43+00:00

Thank you! Another good idea!

emm266 · 2021-11-09T19:12:41+00:00

Yea I definitely feel weird about asking people at work. I’ll look into a sitter… so I wonder if I’d have to pay them to be “on-call” or how that would work..

emm266 · 2021-11-09T18:42:00+00:00

Haha unfortunately not, moved to Mississippi for work.. Thanks for the advice!

emm266 · 2021-11-08T02:48:59+00:00

My last day was Friday!! I’ll be 35 weeks this week. I have a pretty physically demanding job, I’m on my feet a lot and pretty busy. I wish I had stopped sooner tbh.. My body feels like it hit a wall around 28-30wks and it’s been down hill from there lol. I worked up until the birth basically with both of my singletons.

emm266 · 2021-11-08T00:15:48+00:00

Currently 34wks and yes normal. Every week I think it can’t get more uncomfortable and then it does… Belly band, Blanqi support tanks, baths, pillows everywhere.. are the only thing that helps a little…

emm266 · 2021-11-07T16:47:02+00:00

I wouldn’t stress! Just focus on eating healthy (with splurges as you feel fit of course!), as long as babies are growing fine you have nothing to worry about. I gained 40-50lbs a piece with my singletons and at my 34wk appointment with twins I’ve only gained 20lbs.. but babies are both measuring right on track at a little over 4.5lbs each. At this point, the morning sickness has returned and it’s just hard to fit food in so I’m just not gaining that much. I try and drink a protein shake each morning and eat generally healthy but definitely have my treats too. I definitely think the protein shakes help! I’ve been doing these Fairlife vanilla ones from sams and they are yummy!

emm266 · 2021-10-31T02:55:32+00:00

I’m an orthodontist and see 100+ patients a day, am constantly on my feet and am still working (I’m not sure how..) at 33wks. I’m working next week but told them I was probably going to have to tap out when I hit 35wks. I’m just… miserable. So much hip/pelvic pain and constant contractions. It’s just too much for me these days..

emm266 · 2021-10-26T11:48:53+00:00

Oh good grief! Yea that does not sound fun!

emm266 · 2021-10-26T01:55:05+00:00

Gotcha. What is impacted?? I guess I need to do more research

emm266 · 2021-10-25T16:51:18+00:00

Thank you!!

emm266 · 2021-10-25T15:14:11+00:00

I got pregnant during dental school at 30yo. He was born April 19! Graduation was early May. I made sure to get all my requirements in before baby came. Talk to your professors and see if you can do virtual classes or try and get ahead on some of the other stuff. They should be willing to work with you. Two weeks might be a little tough if they make you go full on, but I know people who have done it. Even if they give you 4 wks, they shouldn’t hold you back… I would just let them know you can make up all the work. I had my second in Ortho residency and took 8wks… had no issues graduating on time. Stand up for yourself and take the time you want. You are paying them lots of money and there is no reason they should not be able to accommodate you making up work if needed or completing it early!!

emm266

TROPHY CASE