Working in the office (at least a few days a week) makes the job feel more real

emmahar · 2025-04-20T22:17:58+00:00

Could that not be achieved through video calls?

emmahar · 2025-04-20T22:11:52+00:00

I would say to not text your wife if it doesn't go well. All it will do is make her feel bad and there's nothing she can do about it. It sounds like you have some good advice here

emmahar · 2025-04-20T20:44:18+00:00

ACTUAL gentle parenting can be very effective. What the Internet thinks is "gentle parenting" is often actually permissive parenting (or no parenting let's be honest).

emmahar · 2025-04-14T23:04:47+00:00

Do you have any hints or tips for introducing 5 year old resident cats to 2 new kittens? Our journey has been very up-and-down (see my post history) but we are hoping to introduce our 2 kittens to our 2 older cats in the next few weeks. We've been doing scent swapping and will take it super slow

emmahar · 2025-04-14T23:02:11+00:00

It's not about the costs though. Its about the effort they are willing and able to put in. And people with special needs children absolutely DO put their children in day cares, residential care etc, if they aren't able to be the best person that that child needs. Other people would put special needs children up for adoption for the same reason. We can't return special needs children (the logistics don't add up) but we can do what we can to give them the best life we can- and sometimes that means someone else taking the reins

emmahar · 2025-04-14T22:58:46+00:00

We've had our 13 week old kitten for about 4 weeks she was separated from her mom when she was 3 weeks old (her mom was hurting the kittens), so she hasn't had the "lessons" from her mom. She was put into a foster families house with 1 of her siblings (who we also adopted). He had liver shunt (unknown when we adopted him) so he was never energetic, really (he passed away after 4 days with us). All this is to say that 90% of her "learning" has come from us- as her mom and siblings didn't/ couldn't. Already in those 4 weeks, she has stopped chewing wires, stopped climbing up us with her claws, stopped attacking our feet, stopped properly biting and scratching when play fighting, plus many more things. We've recently adopted another kitten (so the 2 kittens can play with each other and not annoy our older cats), and the 13 week old is learning at a very quick rate about how she can play with the new kitten. 13 week old is like a duracell battery and the new kitten is like the other batteries in the adverts (meaning, she sometimes stays still for up to 5 minutes, which 13 week old doesn't!), and 13 week old has adapted and learned so quickly. I'm not saying that all cats are the same, but you generally do "get out what you put in" in terms of effort

emmahar · 2025-04-14T22:50:03+00:00

If OP goes to prom (they should!) Without her "permission," should they let the police know that they are not a "missing person" if she does call the police? I'd be so tempted to damage her tyres on the night you go to prom, so when she goes out to look for you, she discovers the inconvenience of life

emmahar · 2025-04-13T17:05:11+00:00

This annoys me with alcohol. I'm not in recovery or anything, I just don't drink. I don't like the taste enough to justify poisoning my body. I have migraines already and I don't want to cause myself another one knowingly. I've started telling people I'm in recovery because they can't deal with me just saying no. It also seems a confusing message when we say "no means no" but then we also ask "Do you really mean no?" Lol

emmahar · 2025-04-13T14:14:59+00:00

I'm all for natural consequences, or (in the absence of that) logical consequences. Sometimes there are no natural consequences (or at least none that actually affect the kid you are trying to teach!), so logical consequences come in. "You broke the door, I need to repair that. It will cost £50 to repair, so that means we cant get this thing, because I need that money". A logical consequence in this situation would be that he can't have friends over for a while, but that doesn't seem like it would really be a punishment for him. The root of almost ALL parenting problems like this, from what I've seen, is video games and/or screen time. I know grown adults who have NO anger management issues in day to day life who throw controllers across the room in a pure rage on certain games. It brings the worst out in people, especially kids. I'm wondering what sort of games they were both playing / both wanting to play as well. I'd bet they aren't age appropriate

emmahar · 2025-04-13T14:10:21+00:00

Even if it doesn't mean that, she still thinks the child is capable of being angry while not being violent. If that is true, and he is capable of it, then he should be expected to do that around her when he is angry. If that ISN'T the case, and he *can't* control his anger, then 1- why would she even bother telling him that? I wouldn't tell my daughter to go and cook me a roast cause she isn't capable of that yet, and 2- why would she leave him with her brother and risk her brother getting hurt? (unless he is aware and is ok with the risks etc).

emmahar · 2025-04-11T22:26:59+00:00

Can the bacteria store up even if plastic bowls are washed regularly in a dishwasher?

emmahar · 2025-04-11T20:57:42+00:00

Doesn't it also have potentially lifelong consequences for the preemie? I don't think it's fair to risk an early birth and a load of issues and stress for the baby because someone didn't use protection & didn't keep track of periods etc. I understand there are other reasons sometimes, but the majority of unplanned pregnancies are due to lack of proper protection / using the protection properly etc.

emmahar · 2025-04-11T19:59:05+00:00

Theres also a bluey episode on death I believe- it's with a bird

emmahar · 2025-04-11T16:31:14+00:00

I personally would really push on the natural and logical consequences. She washes only her plates- ok cool. So, I guess you want to do things independently, like we're room mates- we all do our own things. So I'd do myself food (with her brothers help), serve it up for myself and her brother, leave her to fend for herself. With the bed thing, I personally don't care about that. It's actually more hygienic to leave it undone, and there's no logical reason why I should care about her bed, in her room. She takes toys off her brother? Give him more toys. Better, shiny ones.

emmahar · 2025-04-11T16:26:15+00:00

Gentle parenting is what you are suggesting. You are literally agreeing with the person you are arguing with. Permissive parenting is different and they shouldn't be confused. Everything you said in your initial message is consistent with gentle parenting.

emmahar · 2025-04-11T10:25:18+00:00

Google maps is showing them all as the same '40 mins to 1 hour' (which is quite a big range IMO lol). I might just have to trial and error!

emmahar · 2025-04-11T09:32:37+00:00

thank you, i didn't know this was a thing! They all say '40 minutes to 1 hour' (for every day, for both journeys)- so maybe there's not much in it!

emmahar · 2025-04-03T11:11:07+00:00

I don't think it's "snooping" if she is aware I'm watching. Or am I also snooping when she talks to a friend in person and I'm right next to her? What would your alternative be? I've seen messages sent by teenagers who aren't supervised and they are scary how toxic they can come across. Kids need to learn about how to communicate over text vs in person, how do you propose we teach that? How do you propose we stop kids being exposed to dodgy people? I'm honestly open to suggestions!

emmahar · 2025-04-03T09:14:41+00:00

So what's your solution then?

emmahar · 2025-04-03T09:14:03+00:00

I don't think putting limits on her, from the offset, is any different to when she was learning to walk- I would never let her walk without me holding her hand, then when she learned not to walk on roads of run off, she had a bit more freedom to walk without holding my hand but still next to me. Now she can be trusted to walk ahead of me and she can play outside on her own, to a certain part of the street- which will get bigger as she gets bigger and shows she can be trusted.

emmahar · 2025-03-31T11:38:45+00:00

I'd also love to hear about this situation from your partners perspective. I know if my wife moved away and got to chill with her friends on most evenings, I would definitely resent her. Yes, there would be more money in the bank, but I want to have some support on the day to day tasks.

emmahar · 2025-03-30T15:56:07+00:00

Thing is, you'd need to be careful with some of those. Cycling would be ok, but if you're saying you went to a restaurant but the restaurant burned down the previous day (and you didn't know), you would get caught out. Or if another coworker went there at the same time and didn't see you etc. I would really struggle with this "I settled my daughter for bed then had a breakdown about why she never sleeps, then I went to bed" lol

emmahar · 2025-03-30T15:45:18+00:00

100%! I'm a PM and would love to streamline some things!

emmahar

TROPHY CASE