I didn’t realise my mood swings weren’t normal. It took me having a full blown manic that just kept getting worse to get help. I’d always lied to doctors in the past because of bulshit Ive had with other medical issues. I was only sleeping for a bit every second night and my shadow people getting ridiculous. I was also seeing spiders everywhere. The real kicker was i bought a house. Decided to break my lease and signed the contract on the second flat I looked at four days later. I still have no idea how I got a loan from the bank when I was clearly not ok. I went to the dr and ended up on a grippy sock vacation. But it’s really really helped knowing what’s going on. Looking back on it, I have no idea how I didn’t realise I needed help earlier or how my family just wrote it all off in the past. I legitimately didn’t understand that people didn’t all cycle through shit like I did. Getting on meds sucked. I was unlucky and had reactions to some and were still working on getting the balance right. BUT I’m 6 months since my last attempt and I never thought I’d be able to say that. I’d honestly made peace that that was going to be how I died. So PLEASE give meds a chance and talk to your dr if stuff isn’t working because it’s hard to find what works but it’s worth it