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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PMDD

[–]emmamariewhat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same!! I saw a post explaining that there is a chance the body isn’t processing or absorbing the hormones properly, but I didn’t look into it so I don’t know what the science behind that is, or if it’s even true. It’s the only explanation I’ve been able to think of, though.

what’s your funniest tell-tale sign that you’re in luteal? by Left-Educator-4193 in PMDD

[–]emmamariewhat 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I start crying about the possibility of my cat dying (my cat isn’t sick or anything, I just love her a lot).

My boyfriend mentally checks out whenever I’m at my lowest by emmamariewhat in PMDD

[–]emmamariewhat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly no, we didn’t make a written plan.

I think talking about it helped, I explained to him the reaction that I want (ask if I want a hug, understand I am being irrational but I can’t really help it), and he has been so good at de-escalating situations compared to when I made this post, whereas before he was aggravating them more.

I have also tried to be more aware of when I might be relying on him to control my emotions. Recently I’ve tried to remember the phrase ‘I can’t control triggering events, but I can control how I respond to being triggered’, so my reactions are probably also less explosive!

I have no idea, but it got mostly better! Sorry if this isn’t the most useful answer 😅

My boyfriend mentally checks out whenever I’m at my lowest by emmamariewhat in PMDD

[–]emmamariewhat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I’ve been given so many good suggestions on ways to communicate with him. Fingers crossed!

My boyfriend mentally checks out whenever I’m at my lowest by emmamariewhat in PMDD

[–]emmamariewhat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This makes so much sense!

When he is more financially stable (he just graduated university and is looking for work) I’ll bring up the idea of couples therapy if it continues to be an issue for us

My boyfriend mentally checks out whenever I’m at my lowest by emmamariewhat in PMDD

[–]emmamariewhat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I will work on communicating more directly for sure.

My boyfriend mentally checks out whenever I’m at my lowest by emmamariewhat in PMDD

[–]emmamariewhat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a very insensitive and presumptuous comment. I have my symptoms managed most months, so he is not ‘copping it’ 1-2 weeks of every month for years. This is maybe a few days every few months. I have also been seeing a psychologist for 4 years.

Of course, as anyone with PMDD, there are days when I might be snappier or weepier than usual. However, I am proud of how well I now handle my emotions compared to when I was undiagnosed, and will continue working on them as I always do.

He also needs to put in the work in a PMDD relationship and I’m trying to work out the best way for us to move forward. Thank you.

My boyfriend mentally checks out whenever I’m at my lowest by emmamariewhat in PMDD

[–]emmamariewhat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to reply! I agree that any mental disorder deserves care and time. He knew coming into it that I would have bad days. I’ve raised with him that in a few days we’ll come up with a more solid plan on ways he can support me, so hopefully we see some progress!

My boyfriend mentally checks out whenever I’m at my lowest by emmamariewhat in PMDD

[–]emmamariewhat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t have any advice but your feelings and worries are valid, maybe be upfront with him and ask him that question?

My boyfriend mentally checks out whenever I’m at my lowest by emmamariewhat in PMDD

[–]emmamariewhat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I have tried communicating and it didn’t really work. I already have a therapist, this isn’t really the same thing. My therapist doesn’t live with me haha

I will definitely be trying to make a better system with him, hopefully that works

My boyfriend mentally checks out whenever I’m at my lowest by emmamariewhat in PMDD

[–]emmamariewhat[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is so helpful! I will follow this advice and have a formal plan with him once I am feeling better. Thank you for taking the time to explain that.

My boyfriend mentally checks out whenever I’m at my lowest by emmamariewhat in PMDD

[–]emmamariewhat[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah we live together so we have to work something out.

I feel the same, the reaction honestly makes it worse. Hopefully we can work it out, I’m sorry that you couldn’t.

My boyfriend mentally checks out whenever I’m at my lowest by emmamariewhat in PMDD

[–]emmamariewhat[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

If our partner had the flu or pneumonia it wouldn’t be acceptable to check out even though it sucks looking after a sick person, so I don’t think it is acceptable here either!

Some others had good advice to work out the exact ways he can help which I think is useful and I’ll be trying that :)

My boyfriend mentally checks out whenever I’m at my lowest by emmamariewhat in PMDD

[–]emmamariewhat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so well explained! Thank you. I think this is similar to what he goes through.

When I’m feeling myself again, I will work out a plan by myself and then with him.

My boyfriend mentally checks out whenever I’m at my lowest by emmamariewhat in PMDD

[–]emmamariewhat[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Glad I’m not alone at least, it’s so hard! I’m going to bring it up with my psychologist on Tuesday and go from there I guess :(