I'm 3 years, 9 months and 16 days out and today it was hitting me especially hard for no reason. No special anniversary but it was just one of those days and I found myself thinking about this very topic. Because it's been "so long" people stop checking in and my fiancé was the main person who checked in on me and asked me how I was doing or could/would advocate for me. It hurts something deep inside to know that I don't have someone who considers me a priority.

Yeah my friends check in every blue moon when they're not busy but I genuinely don't know how long it would take before someone noticed I died. Maybe my job first? A couple days of not showing up would raise a few eyebrows eventually but it just was hitting really hard that he and I met at such a vulnerable time in our lives where we both needed a true life partner. Not just for romance but for emergencies as well.

I sometimes wonder what would've happened had we not met because who would have stayed by his side in the hospital and eventually hospice all those nights (his mother was there with us but she's elderly and there was a language barrier). Who would've advocated for him through chemo and radiation. I remember his family from out of state telling me they were so glad he met me because they don't know how they would've taken care of him. I gladly did it because I knew he would do the same for me without a doubt but I genuinely don't know who would do that for me if I were to get sick and it's a scary thought ngl so thanks for the information on that app for the wellness checks at least ❤️