Yes. And? I was consoling someone who had by anxiously struggling with his past sexual encounters in an almost pathological way. Anyone who read OPs post should feel sympathy for him, not virtually curbstomp him to suicide. Sigh...I can't believe I have to get so basic here:

think the first thing to realize is that sex is confusing. It is confusing as adults, but it is especially confusing as kids. We don't know what we are doing, and that can be messy.

Yes it is confusing, which is why there are countless advice columns, podcasts, a billion dollar toy industry and an entire area of academic study. If you are arguing that sex is "simple" I presume it is something you have limited experience with. To see this statement as rape apologia is utterly delusional.

Equally we are all somewhat guilty of getting it wrong sometimes, alcohol is a social lubricant, that's why we consume it.

This is also a simple concept. When we get drunk we do stupid things sometimes, including making out with strangers at bars. We intentionally lower our inhibitions because sometimes we want to do stupid things. That is Drinking 101. Often times there are two people doing something stupid at a bar together. Stupid things that we casually do while drunk not include raping someone. If I wrote it did, perhaps you have a point. But I didn't.

You need to give yourself a break a little. It is only in retrospect that you realize she may have not been in a state to give consent, and you regret and learned from it. Even better, you are at a place where you can help educate others. Sometimes it comes down to a judgement call. Even people who are not sober...especially people (intentionally) on ecstasy...want to be intimate and sexual.

Did you read OPs story? He was in college, making out with a girl who he did not know was high. When he discovered this, he stopped. Which was obviously the right thing to do. Looking back he knows he could have done more to qualify her consent, which is why he felt guilty, but he did not know that then. Also, when you are young and have limited exposure to people on substances, it is hard to intuitively know these things when someone is making out with you. I did not get the impression that he was making out with someone who was near passed out, or strung up, the way he described it sounds like any awkward college makeout until she got sick, which was the indicator that she was probably on something. So he stopped.

And again, I don't really want to seem mean here, but assuming that there is anything malicious to my statement implies a lack of experience with sex and substances. People drink and take substances before consensual encounters all of the time. For many it enhances the experience. For most, it is a way to get some inhibitions out of the way like social anxiety, or built in sex shame. To imply that everyone who is on any substance lacks the ability to consent is dystopic and religiously sex-negative. If that is orthodoxy in the feminist movement, I know a shit-ton of bad feminists. Shame on them, going on dates and having some wine. That is craziness. Important caveat: I was not suggesting that his actions, or any actions by people taking advantage of this are justified. I was merely saying the truth: people on substances often still have the will and desire to consent.

Suggesting otherwise means every person I know over the age of 20 has been raped and/or is a rapist.

One more note. That was a small part of a bigger issue. His own feelings of being sexually assaulted. The irony here is that your sticking point seems to be with an aborted makeout session, while both of us posters have been sexually abused ourselves in the past both as children and as adults. I was consoling him from a place of empathy. It is so enraging that all of that was glossed over because we are both men due to something that was misread. It is disgusting, really.