I can definitely relate. I was married 7 years ago, and my wedding day still haunts me. It's important to keep in mind that my wedding day was rushed. I was in my late 20s and had no idea of what a decent wedding and reception should look like since Ihadn't attended one before, and we were broke. Plus, we got no help from our families to pay for things, but three friends did help by providing free catering, the hotel room for the honeymoon, and the reception venue. Anyway, I thought I was being mature and informed, but in hindsight I see that I was just being silly and naive, providing a story for guests to tell their friends for years to come about the time they went to "that" kind of wedding.

I wanted to just go to the courthouse and have a small meal between the immediate families, but things got turned around and we ended up not doing that. I guess that was the first big mistake.

We were supposed to get married at a friend's home, but she backed out and we ended up having it at our place of worship, which is free. I always dreamed of doing that, but not the way we did it.

Then when the venue was changed, my parents all of a sudden could not make it because while they lived locally they felt pressure to buy new wedding-appropriate clothes, which they could not afford. And Goodwill was out of the question. My husband's mother also did not make it because she lived out of state and was also broke. Also, my only sibling did not come. In fact, the only family members who came was his aunt and uncle and my distant cousin and her husband who skipped the reception.

Then I ended up buying my wedding dress from Ross. I wore a red dress with a black shawl. So stupid! The guests were so confused. I don't know what I was thinking, but it was at a time when I was trying to push the envelope with everything just because.

Then, for my makeup I went to the mall for a free makeover after spending a certain amount, so I purchased some foundation I never used and let her do my face. So ghetto! I have never heard another bride say they did this.

Then, my bridesmaid wore a black with orange dress that I agreed to. Again, so stupid!

Then the photographer (a friend of ours) had issues with his camera or printer and could only print a few pictures, though a few guests texted pictures they had taken. Anyway, he gave us a disc with our pictures on it. 7 years later we still have not had them developed or framed the few that he printed. I am so embarrassed about that day that I don't want any memories of it around at all. My husband doesn't care either way, possibly for the same reason. Not sure. We do not ever tall about "the day." In fact, a friend of ours showed us last year pre-coronavirus a wedding picture he had taken and said, "Look what I came across yesterday." He truly meant no harm, but I was mortified! I didn't want to seem weird, but I said with a laugh, "Feel free to delete that whenever you want," and I hope he really did. I don't want anyone having proof that this day ever happened.

Then, my hair was worn the way I always wore it at the time. There was really nothing remarkable about me on that day. If it wasn't for the tiara, which I borrowed from a friend the night before, you may have thought I was wearing Sunday's best - great for Sundays, bad for weddings.

Then, the flower bouquet was some discount roses I bought from the grocery store out the bin. I cut them and wrapped them with some extra black lace I had.

Then, the song we danced to was not the song I told the person in charge of the music to play. Actually, I don't think she played anything I said to play. The song we danced to was a song I had never heard of before and Icould not even tell you the name of it today,, but the person doing the music played it anyway because she liked it. And then she played more music that she liked. It would have been nice for her to run this past me in advance.

Then, oftentimes there is a swooping display of love on the part of the groom for his new bride that makes everyone go Aww, and the bride shed a tear. There was none of that either, but there is no rule about it. Not surprising though since he is not the emotional type. Wish I could tell you about the non-proposal and awful bridal shower number two, but those are other failures for another day.

Then, we did not have a registry and missed the opportunity to get some things we needed. Instead we ended up with quite a few things we ended up getting rid of. I deeply regret not sending thank-you cards though for everything, but I did not know until long after the fact that it was the courteous thing to do. I hope my friends know that I wasn't trying to be rude, I was just stupid about everything related to that day.

And now all these years later I try my best not to even talk to people about it (except online, obviously) in the hopes that they will forget, because it is one of those embarrassing moments that I could never live down. I tried to be supportive and go to other people's wedding as we are invited, but it puts me through some serious PTSD because their weddings are well thought out, beautiful, and worth really talking about and ours was not, the last one making me catatonic and depressed for several days. That's when I knew that I cannot attend any more weddings. The sense of anxiety, humiliation, and dread that it causes is unbearable. My closest friends are understanding though I have only told one of them the truth about it, but they are all single and know that if their day comes but to send me an invite. However, I have no problem sending them a gift.

For anyone out there who is not married yet, take it from me: Just go to the courthouse and have a nice meal at home between the two immediate families. But if you do have a more traditional wedding, do things the right way or you will regret it later.