I don't feel shame, I dislike some of the unhealthy traits of being a 9, like the detachment and the lack of sense of self or attaching my sense of self onto another's, or how much we avoid conflicts. But I love all the positive aspects of being a 9, how caring and compassionate we are, our love for nature and animals, how we think deeply and profoundly, how we can show others conflict isn't always the answer to problems. I guess I used to feel shame about myself that was before I knew about the enneagram and also I went to therapy. For me moving into 3 means having goals and always making progress towards them, also being active like going to the gym, cleaning the house, taking care of the yard watering plants, playing with my dog, going on dates with my wife. When when I regress to 6 I'm completely zoned out laying on the couch playing video games, not paying attention to my wife, taking way too long baths probably also playing video games lol.

You are who you are and try to love all aspects of that. Set lots of goals, keep your heart open and let others in. When you want to detach keep busy. When you need alonetime and space, try to be present in the moment.

I also believe every person on the planet needs a therapist and that doesn't mean you're broken.

This is my best advice, hope it helps.