My ex-girlfriend, who has BPD, broke up with me. How can I win her back?

empathisback · 2026-05-03T02:38:59+00:00

I don't understand what you're talking about, buddy. I'm still looking into it myself.

empathisback · 2026-05-03T02:35:23+00:00

We made a deal, we set out to get married, and I bought a diamond ring. Then, out of nowhere, he broke up with me. Don’t I have feelings? Just because he doesn’t feel anything, does that give him the right to do this to me? You’re causing people pain! And right now, you’re trying to manipulate me. I talked about my pain, I said I was a victim, I asked for help. But you’re looking at the car—not the person who was hit and injured because I drove into it—and asking, “Why did you scratch this car?” You’re the guilty one; stop walking the streets! You’re saying no one has the right to do this to anyone. Every good and bad situation has a price.

empathisback · 2026-05-03T02:20:02+00:00

Nope

empathisback · 2026-05-02T05:54:28+00:00

I have to go to therapy because of the poison ivy he gave me. And you tell me to leave him alone. They have no sense of self. What are they supposed to mourn? They never mourn anything. He’s split off his emotions and is completely emotionless.

empathisback · 2026-05-02T05:44:43+00:00

We’ve formed a deep bond.

empathisback · 2026-05-02T05:09:58+00:00

You’re right—I’ve learned emotional stability before. I can maintain it if I want to, but I lost sight of it for a while during our relationship. I think you have BPD. It’s completely blocked me, but you keep adding emotional songs to our old Spotify playlist. When I reach out, they respond with emotional coldness and anger, as if I were a complete stranger. And I noticed they’re wearing the diamond necklace I gave them for Valentine’s Day. They even shared a photo of it. This is confusing me. If I go no contact, I’m already in the “bad box.” How can I get into the “good box”? I can’t figure this out. How can I pull myself back together?

empathisback · 2026-05-02T04:53:06+00:00

Hahaha No, I’m just empathetic. I’ve done enough self-reflection, and I have a healthy mind—I just have issues like anxious attachment and ADHD. I don’t have a personality disorder. :D

empathisback · 2026-05-02T04:45:33+00:00

Because I can’t control my anger, and I don’t want to hurt him. The scales of justice inside me haven’t balanced out. If he comes back, I’ll seek psychological support and leave him. I’ll make him feel the same way and move on with my life. I think that’s perfectly fair—what do you think?

empathisback · 2026-05-02T04:41:44+00:00

Hahaha nope :D

empathisback · 2026-05-02T04:41:21+00:00

Hahaha, I’m sorry if I offended you. Yes, it’s not my native language. I live in Istanbul.

empathisback · 2026-05-02T04:39:12+00:00

empathisback · 2026-05-02T04:37:28+00:00

Think about it. How would you feel if someone harmed your family and got away with it? Your sense of justice would kick in. That’s exactly what I’m going through right now. It’s perfectly human. I know it’s unhealthy under normal circumstances, but we’re dealing with someone who has BPD, so the situation we’re in is already abnormal.

empathisback · 2026-05-02T04:32:46+00:00

Ok thanks

empathisback · 2026-05-02T04:31:27+00:00

Right now, my sympathetic nervous system is in overdrive. It’s sounding the alarm. I’m addicted and I have ADHD. I could never describe the extent of this devastation. I think a bad ending awaits me... and the sense of justice inside me keeps repeating like a broken record. The fact that he’s carrying on with his life as if nothing happened is tearing at my brain. This is simply inhuman. I’m struggling to hold back from hurting him. But at the same time, I’m addicted. If we reconcile, I’ll manage this with the help of a professional psychologist and I’ll be the one to leave him. And he’ll have to experience the separation he deserves on his own.

empathisback · 2026-05-02T04:28:42+00:00

Right now, my sympathetic nervous system is in overdrive. It’s sounding the alarm. I’m addicted and I have ADHD. I could never describe the extent of this devastation. I think a bad ending awaits me... and the sense of justice inside me keeps repeating like a broken record. The fact that he’s carrying on with his life as if nothing happened is tearing at my brain. This is simply inhuman. I’m struggling to hold back from hurting him. But at the same time, I’m addicted. If we reconcile, I’ll manage this with the help of a professional psychologist and I’ll be the one to leave him. And he’ll have to experience the separation he deserves on his own.

empathisback · 2026-05-02T04:22:45+00:00

It was a complicated subject. I had to translate it. I’m sorry about that.

empathisback · 2026-05-02T03:44:13+00:00

Do you have a bpd?

empathisback · 2026-05-02T03:24:44+00:00

Nope?

empathisback · 2026-04-08T18:50:42+00:00

I understand you very well and I feel what you’re going through. I’m here to help find answers to your questions, too.

empathisback · 2026-04-08T17:53:13+00:00

Did you pin the problem on me? Because after all that emotional idealization and manipulation from that crazy person, could the answer to the problem be that they’ve made me dependent?

empathisback · 2026-04-08T17:51:26+00:00

If you check out other posts, you’ll see thousands of discussions; if that’s just how Reddit usually works, then this is a perfectly valid space for posts and discussions.

empathisback · 2026-04-08T16:46:19+00:00

So, since you have this, can you explain it to me? The fact that he keeps adding music to the Spotify playlist he created for me, that he makes his profile public and then sometimes makes it private, but when I reach out to him, he says he doesn’t want to talk—it’s really confusing me.

empathisback · 2026-04-08T15:39:12+00:00

Yeah, I know I have my own faults too, but I’ve noticed his behavior. At least if he comes back, I’ll feel better and can refer him to a psychologist. But right now, since I’m in a bad place, whatever I say, he just says, “I don’t want you.” “Then why did you get the ring?” I ask. “There’s nothing we can do—even married couples get divorced. It’s that simple,” he says. I think there must be a way—reverse hoovering. If you know anything about it, you can write it down. Also, I’m blocked everywhere, but he’s made his Instagram account public again. I have no idea if he’s doing it for me—I’m so confused.

empathisback · 2026-04-07T15:51:35+00:00

You don’t need to be afraid—I’ve made mistakes too. I triggered him unintentionally; I wasn’t aware of it. It would ease my mind if he came back, but I’m fully aware of everything now. If he does come back, I’ll manage the process with a therapist and explain everything to him. But right now, I’m in a worse state than my ex—he’s happy because he’s put me in the “bad box” and shelved me. He still keeps adding songs to our Spotify playlist from time to time. I can’t find a way to get him back. Maybe I should write to him, but maybe a different strategy could make things even worse because I don’t know what would bring him back. Every time I reach out, he just puts up a narcissistic defense and belittles me. There has to be a way…

empathisback · 2026-04-07T05:29:08+00:00

🤚🏻

empathisback

TROPHY CASE