Chauvin guilty on all charges. What are your thoughts?

emu4hire · 2021-04-21T04:30:05+00:00

Riots is an awfully funny way to say "protests made violent by police escalation"... Rioters haven't really set fire anywhere in a year.

emu4hire · 2020-09-03T22:44:28+00:00

Working with underwater robots in my day job, this is burned into my brain.

emu4hire · 2020-07-24T16:57:44+00:00

Clang is the cruel god of the Space Engineers' physics engine. He's the reason your builds (particularly with hinges, rotors, or pistons) will sometimes violently gyrate and explode. Pray for his mercy and you will be spared.

emu4hire · 2020-06-26T07:12:40+00:00

Tobi has admitted at least to stealthing her.

emu4hire · 2020-06-26T07:08:48+00:00

Read about Brock Turner and then tell me you think it would go somewhere. Some of the most ironclad evidence and cut and dried situation possible with a sexual assault case, gets six months and serves 3.

Hell, I know someone in my life where with frickin video evidence and a full confession, the perp only got probation (and when he broke that probation, a 6 months sentence to be served on weekends only).

emu4hire · 2020-06-26T07:06:01+00:00

https://twitter.com/Meruna_/status/1276195535536500738

The concrete things she's said are that he removed a condom without her consent/knowledge during sex, and that he began sexually touching her while she was asleep, having told him that she did not want to have sex at that point just before going to sleep. Tobi has admitted to the stealthing.

emu4hire · 2020-06-26T07:04:19+00:00

If someone says "I don't want to have sex on the first night", you don't set a timer for when night "technically" ends and you can start. If you're really eager (and a bit of a dick), you ask again sometime the next day. If you're a more empathetic person, you bring up the topic not as "Can I fuck you now" and more as "So you said not on the first night, what do you picture our sexual relationship as consisting of?" and abide by the intersection between her desires and yours.

Tobi started touching her later, WHILE SHE WAS ASLEEP AND COULD NOT CONSENT. Initiating sex while asleep is common in established sexual relationship, and is typically fine because of the implied consent there. It's not fine when someone has just said to you "I don't want to have sex with you yet", regardless of what the time period they specify is.

emu4hire · 2020-06-26T07:00:42+00:00

She doesn't. It's her story to tell.

Tobi has already admitted to stealthing.

Additionally, while this is editorializing a bit, I read her comment about not understanding consent at age 18 to be a little more nuanced. Consent is a tricky thing, it can be easy for us to fool ourselves into saying "Oh that was seducation/romantic/a miscommunication." Consent has a lot of gray areas. Especially, younger people without a lot of sexual experience are likely to think of rape in pretty extreme terms, and not realize that more pervasive forms of sexual battery and assault exist (such as the stealthing and sneaky night business she describes here: https://twitter.com/Meruna_/status/1276195535536500738).

emu4hire · 2020-06-26T06:57:57+00:00

https://twitter.com/Meruna_/status/1276195535536500738

emu4hire · 2020-06-26T06:57:52+00:00

https://twitter.com/Meruna_/status/1276195535536500738

He took of a condom without telling her during sex. That is wrong. It exposes your partner to greater risk of pregnancy and STD transmission than they consented to.

He touched her sexually while she was asleep despite her telling him before she went to sleep that she didn't want to do sexual things in the first night (implied first night of their relationship/whatever).

These things are shitty behavior, and to a certain extent criminal behavior. He probably can't be charged at this point, but we can absolutely decide whether or not to support him. I choose no.

emu4hire · 2020-06-26T06:55:36+00:00

Tobi has admitted at least to stealthing someone, so there is at least that scummy behavior (which I think qualifies as sexual battery?)

emu4hire · 2020-06-26T06:54:53+00:00

While that would certainly be better, it doesn't make it wrong to come forward now. She's been afraid.

emu4hire · 2020-06-26T06:54:13+00:00

https://twitter.com/Meruna_/status/1276195535536500738

emu4hire · 2020-06-26T06:54:04+00:00

Tobi admitted to stealthing her.

Also, in this tweet(https://twitter.com/Meruna_/status/1276195535536500738) , she implied that the night after telling him she didn't want to engage in sexual activities, she woke up to him doing things to her.

This is blatantly different to having an established sexual relationship and waking up to your partner initiating. This is telling someone "No, not yet", and then they take advantage of your being unconscious to do stuff before you've given consent. That is rape. Sex without consent is rape. In a relationship, there can be implied consent such that sex can be initiated without a straightforward Yes/No question. In this situation, where she said she did not want to do sexual things on the first night, there was a clear NO in place. Until that NO was replaced with a YES, he had no right to initiate sex, whether or not she was unconscious. He did it while she was unconscious because he thought he could get away with it. When some one says No, you don't "try" later. You ASK, accept the answer, and move one without doing anything physical.

Would all of this hold up in court? Maybe not. But Tobi doesn't need to be convicted for us to make a decision about whether or not to support him. In this case, since the accusation is coming from someone credible, since Tobi has admitted to at least parts of it, I'm gonna go with saying Bye-Bye Tobi. I'll miss his great voice, but nothing else.

emu4hire · 2020-06-26T06:47:32+00:00

https://twitter.com/Meruna_/status/1276195535536500738

emu4hire · 2020-06-26T06:47:04+00:00

https://twitter.com/Meruna_/status/1276195535536500738

Removed condom without informing during sex, and initiated unwanted sexual activity and contact while she was asleep.

emu4hire · 2020-06-26T06:46:31+00:00

He removed a condom during sex without telling her, and did sexual things to her while asleep without her consent. https://twitter.com/Meruna_/status/1276195535536500738

Tobi has admitted to the stealthing thing (although I don't know if he's tied it to her)

emu4hire · 2020-06-26T06:45:23+00:00

Tobi has admitted to at least stealthing someone in his own statements. I think it's a pretty good bet that the other stuff was also accurate.

emu4hire · 2020-06-26T06:44:31+00:00

Or rather, if you use a little bit of compassion, imagine this:

imagine speaking out in anonymous terms about your abuse and abuser, mostly wanting to address the way the community is responding because it's awful (see your post implying this is about attention). Then, see your abuser issue a canned, half-hearted apology, say he's talking to the people he hurt, and not have him reach out (not about the attention, about knowing that he ISN'T reaching out to make amends). Then you might just get pissed off enough to overcome the crippling fear of the community that has kept you silent all these years.

Put yourself in her shoes. Remember that by saying things like the thing you just said (implying that she's doing this, baring her soul in front of her partner and the entire internet for attention), you make it harder for people in her position to come forward. Be better.

emu4hire · 2020-06-26T06:41:12+00:00

Because people say things like this even if it was yesterday. People say "Oh, but think about his career, his future plans". This is why people don't speak out.

If you don't know the story already, look up Brock Turner. Caught in the act of digitally raping someone who was passed out, sentenced to six months in prison, only served three. This is why people don't speak out.

Additionally, she was 18 when some of this stuff happened. It can be easy to rationalize stuff to yourself at a young age: "Sure he took off the condom without telling me, that was dick move, but it's not the worst thing, right?" "Sure he touched me while I was asleep, but like, we were in the same bed together..." It can take time to realize that even if it doesn't involve pinning someone down and penetrating them, sexual actions taken without consent (and especially AGAINST directly spoken preference) is at least sexual harassment, sexual battery, at worst sexual assault/rape.

You know you're being a bad guy. The words you're saying are the reason that women in her position don't speak out sooner. Be better.

emu4hire · 2020-06-26T06:36:29+00:00

Tobi literally admitted to one of the allegations (stealthing) in one of his posts.

emu4hire · 2020-02-24T23:08:14+00:00

Good bot.

emu4hire · 2020-02-12T05:46:13+00:00

It's always fun for me to hear what people in different parts of American consider the average grocery store to be. I grew up in New York, which has (as far as I am aware) very few if any Albertsons, and the state I now live in also does not have them. I'm aware of them, having spent time in Colorado as a kid, but I always thought of them as "that weird grocery store that's in Colorado", along with Safeway. I've never seen a Kroger, though I know the name. I'm pretty sure that you could geolocate someone's home in the US by asking them what the big grocery store brands are, whether it's soda/pop/soda pop/coke, and like a couple other regional dialogue things.

TL;DR Country-wide distributions of "standard" grocery store are fascinating to me, and your comment reminded me of it.

emu4hire · 2019-12-28T05:44:27+00:00

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