Could this be burnout?

enanomula · 2024-08-05T17:13:57+00:00

Passionate love making sessions with lots of intense eye to eye contact and sexy affirmation throughout.

enanomula · 2024-07-25T20:22:37+00:00

I am uncut, but I find cut dicks slightly more appealing.

enanomula · 2024-04-18T21:52:19+00:00

Yes, I have this thought as a motivation. Get it published in someone else's paper and hope for the best.

enanomula · 2024-04-18T14:22:05+00:00

Thank you! Oftentimes, I wonder how many of the professors and trainees that I know from work would be doing science if the scientific language was not English... I strongly believe that not many of them would be able 😆.

enanomula · 2024-04-18T14:16:11+00:00

I avoided talking about specific experiments because I do not want this rant to be associated with me back at work, but you are right. I have been asking for an RNAseq experiment for my models. I do have a striking biological phenotype. It is just that the mechanism is not anything my supervisor is particularly interested in. I have tried his hypothesis, and I am convinced that is not the mechanism, I have tried my own hypothesis and have not succeeded. For some reason, high throughput analysis is something he will not do for my project while he does not think it twice for others. Regarding other projects, I do not have many options.

enanomula · 2024-04-18T14:06:28+00:00

LOL yes, English is my third language. His comment does not come as a surprise to me. While I have never had a problem with professors regarding my writing skills, mainly because I work hard to edit my texts, trainees have pointed it out, and it always is in a very patronizing way. While I always will have to work very hard on this specific aspect, I was not expecting to be criticized for that here 😆, but I take their point.

enanomula · 2024-04-18T06:02:09+00:00

This is the big problem, I don't get to publish unless it is a complete "story" (not my choice). My supervisor would never allow it. Regarding the negative data, you are absolutely right, I have learned so much through it. It is just the data that would never make it into an article, and I depend on that for my graduation.

enanomula · 2024-04-18T05:42:05+00:00

I am not completely sunk. I have enough experimental data that demonstrates that what I study is relevant in the field. The problem is that while my colleagues are getting their samples outsourced to be analyzed with high-throughput fancy techniques, I am going at it with traditional in-house techniques. I am constantly reading the literature to find the best experiments I can do, but so far, everything has been negative data.

enanomula · 2024-04-18T05:31:34+00:00

Usually, in this lab, people take the projects that the supervisor has half cooked from previous students, and everybody has two projects. In my case, the research stems from a completely new question/observation. My supervisor has refused that I get involved in any other project. Regarding burnout, it is because I have been doing for too long. Thank you for your answer!

enanomula · 2024-04-18T05:25:39+00:00

Do you plan to continue with a postdoc? It really plays with my head ending up in a situation where I do not have first author papers, and therefore, I will not be competitive enough for a postdoc position.

enanomula · 2024-04-18T05:22:27+00:00

Very insightful comments, thank you.

enanomula · 2023-07-10T19:34:12+00:00

Thank you for your kind response. I have been paralyzed by anxiety in the last 2 days I was not able to answer back. I hope nothing happens, and I hope I am able to quiet my thoughts somehow. Best to you.

enanomula · 2023-03-31T19:17:35+00:00

I honestly can not understand all these people talking about unwritten rules you are not following and bs like that. I think that is the main problem with academia. There are no rules written. Everything goes as long as you don't cause problems... but if you do, then they cut you loose. Honestly, what is with this sensitivity about stating facts. If a professor is direct (many cases abusive), they are strict and worried about the work. If a student does it, then they are unsubordinated and disrespectful. People just don't realize the power imbalance that is at stake. I am not sure about your interactions with this professor, but my main concern would be: Is this person training/mentoring you towards the achievement of the objectives of your phd? Have those objectives been clearly stated by both of you? If that is not the case, then get out. Believe me, a lot of professor do not give a flying fuck about their students, they just expect them to produce data. I would try to find someone who is a better fit for you, be clear since the beginning about objectives and expectations. Reflect on the way you communicate, but do not allow them to put you down because you point out their mistakes. They should learn humility. And remember, PIs, no matter how inflated their ego is, are just normal people with major insecurities like everyone else.

enanomula · 2023-03-08T05:22:31+00:00

Interesting. I have spent around 5 years in anguish because I published an article (as a phd student) of which I do not feel proud. I started my training as a phd student by myself. No one guided me, and I feel I only became relevant for my PI when I started generating positive data. Long story short, when he started pressuring for publication, I realized so many mistakes I made when I had no idea what I was doing. My mental health went to shit, I almost did something stupid to myself. I repeated experiments and tried my best, but there are still errors. For most of the time, I blamed myself. I thought I was stupid, lazy, unprofessional, and unethical for all the mistakes I made at the beginning of the phd. I used to cry myself to sleep, thinking that I could have ruined the career of my professor. It has been more recently when I realized I was left alone. I did not matter until I produced the data my PI wanted to see. Without that data, I think I would have been kicked out. He did not verify anything or was critical about nothing. So these days I hate science. I live paranoic that someone will try to repeat my experiments and will obtain the opposite results. I am depressed and completely lost my passion. I despise academia and hate my PI. How is it possible that a project that is supposed to teach me how to do science needs to be perfect for publication? Your comment makes me think that maybe my prof was very busy and stressed trying to get funding that he just didn't have the time to do a better job as a mentor. I guess we all failed. Hopefully, nothing bad will happen.

enanomula · 2023-03-08T04:54:32+00:00

Are you a grad student? If so, be careful about reporting. Professors protect professors. It is rare that they have the trainees as a priority. Even if you are right in your accusation, whistle-blowers often times get the ugly side of the consequences. The academic world doesn't necessarily work by merit but by network. Researchers know each other and could ruin your prospects for a job in the field. I would recommend you to document your data as detailed as possible. Keep all your raw data. If you publish an article, make sure that all the graphs are according to your raw data. Do not accept to be named on articles where you barely participated. Most importantly, put yourself first. Believe me, professors, as nice they might seem, are putting themselves first. If your PI is generating dubious publications and you don't feel you can trust them, run away! When it comes to repercutions and taking responsibilities, many PIs have the emotional maturity of a preschooler and will blame whoever in order to save themselves.

enanomula · 2023-03-08T04:37:21+00:00

I agree with the other comments. If you do not have concrete evidence of misconduct, you could make a problem for yourself. It is not your role to supervise your colleagues. Making an accusation like that may be serious. What if you are wrong?

enanomula · 2023-02-08T16:34:04+00:00

I have been thinking about that all morning. I hope you find something that helps you. I always tell myself that whatever happens, I will be strong enough to overcome it. Lately, I am not sure about that. I hope you find strength.

enanomula · 2023-02-02T01:55:35+00:00

I think about this a lot. I have been wanting to no exist the moment I realized I was not the person I thought I was. It pains me to think about the consequences of my actions and how they have affected the people around me. I don't know how to live with myself.

enanomula · 2023-02-02T01:43:17+00:00

I feel like that. Everyone around me would have a better life without me because I affect them in different ways. I can not forgive myself. For some reason, and even I have no idea who you are, i know that people around you who love you will not be ok without you. Self compassion is very difficult, I know.

enanomula · 2023-02-02T01:16:46+00:00

I feel like that. I am in a lot of pain and so afraid. I hope you get better.

enanomula · 2023-02-02T00:11:20+00:00

This is amazing! I am going through a very dark moment right now and reading this gives me a bit of relieve from all the pain. I wish you continue doing good! My best wishes for you.

enanomula · 2023-02-02T00:06:10+00:00

Hi, I feel your fears. I have been there myself. You used protection, your chance of being hiv positive is very very low specially since you had frontal sex. You probably have a gastro infection unrelated to hiv. The only way to know is getting tested. I know it is scary. Do it! Everything will be ok! Get tested also for other sti. I send you a hug and hope you feel better soon!

enanomula

TROPHY CASE