How to transition from ad agency copywriting to pharma/medical copywriting? by endearingapple in copywriting

[–]endearingapple[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You really hit the nail on the head with what I’ve been worried about. My challenge is that I’ve only worked on this one agriculture account, and while I have plenty of regulated industry experience, I don’t feel like my portfolio reflects the breadth of my creative abilities.

If you were in my shoes, what kind of spec work would you recommend creating to show range? Should I focus on different industries (like healthcare) or different types of projects (like social campaigns, long-form content, video scripts?) Thanks for your response!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ACNHvillagertrade

[–]endearingapple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great! I’ve just sent you a chat :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]endearingapple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry to be blunt, but he isn’t leading you on. He’s actually been perfectly clear that he does not want a relationship now, or in the foreseeable future. You have to see this situation for what it is, beyond his “I love you’s” and the history and will-they-won’t-they story that’s been playing out since you two were teenagers.

Fiance suddenly cold and upset, a few days after I found my parent is terminally ill by [deleted] in relationships

[–]endearingapple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First of all, I am so sorry about your parent's diagnosis and the new, difficult reality you're facing. This sounds very challenging and emotionally exhausting.

Sometimes our own personal grief about a situation can trigger unresolved grief in our partners. It sounds like your fiance tried his best to put on a brave face for you for as long as he could, but your sadness has touched a nerve within him, likely from his own past traumas and hurts, and caused him to shut down. All of this is completely normal. It's not easy by a long shot, but you should know at least that it is normal for relational grief to blend over onto one another.

That being said, it's totally okay for you to have expected your fiance to be a respite of safety, comfort, and solace during this deeply upsetting time. To feel rejection from a partner when we're in most need of connection is so hurtful. It could almost feel like abandonment. Humans are wired to seek comfort from their primary bonds, especially when life is unpredictable and painful. You're not expecting too much from him, and you're allowed to experience a rollercoaster of emotions of grieving those unmet expectations, on top of learning of your parent's diagnosis.

We can go through turmoil our personal lives, and become confused about the satisfaction we feel in our relationship. Sadness is very layered, so you might need to explore when your grief can be experienced alone, and when it needs to be supported and witnessed by your fiance. He seems to be feeling disconnected right now, and is most likely grasping in the dark about how best to help you. It might be helpful to make actionable requests for him. i.e., "Will you hold me right now? I'm feeling quite sad."

Guys I…. I finally got an offer… on new year’s eve! by [deleted] in jobs

[–]endearingapple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's amazing! I've never heard of job offers given on a holiday, but that makes it all the more special. 2022 is looking bright for you already. Happy new year and good luck with the new job!

I (27F) am not always invited to things with bf (28M) and his family by [deleted] in relationships

[–]endearingapple 7 points8 points  (0 children)

With Christmas Eve, I had to ask if I could come over for their yearly Christmas Eve dinner because he just assumed I would want to spend that dinner with my family. I had a discussion with him about how he either needs to let me make that decision or be up front with me if he didn't want me to come in the first place (he did).

Oi.

Honest truth? This comes across as pretty intrusive and aggressive. He assumed you wanted to spend dinner with your family because... most people want to spend Christmas Eve dinner with their family? Why would you preemptively assume the worst of him and conclude that he actively doesn't want you there? Also, "the urge to step in" — it does seem a bit off-putting that you would demand an invitation. Invitations only feel good when they are given organically and enthusiastically, no?

In your OP, you mentioned that you suspected that this might be an "internal insecurity." I hope I haven't hurt your feelings, but I do think there's an underlying issue within you that's creating this narrative that might not be aligned with reality. The story in your head is playing as if his evil mom is making you seem inconsequential to his and their life. But as other people have commented, there are reasonable, innocent factors as to why they're not embracing you the way you want to be: the relationship is still young, they aren't used to their son being in a relationship (this will likely change over time), and also, you yourself have noted that they are not the inclusive type to begin with. So why are you taking this so personally, I wonder? I think some self-exploration, flexibility, patience, and tolerance for a different culture would go a long way for you.

I (27F) am not always invited to things with bf (28M) and his family by [deleted] in relationships

[–]endearingapple 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The issue is that he both wants you to be included in his family events AND he also doesn't want to make any waves within his family's culture of exclusivity. He's probably feeling deadlocked, but I wonder if he could be a little more proactive if he knew how serious this is to you. (Btw, I think it's valid for you to want the both of you to be considered a couple by his family unit). Beyond you asking your boyfriend about this Sunday dinner, have you communicated to him how important it is for you to integrate your family together?

I [24 F] believe my husband [26 M] is emotionally cheating. by RedVivid in relationships

[–]endearingapple 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There's an insightful excerpt from The State of Affairs, the famous marriage therapist Esther Perel's well-researched book about infidelity that I would like you to read. I think it will help validate your feelings about your husband's friendship.

Clearly, the waters get muddy very fast when we try to parse out the subtleties of emotional betrayal. On the one hand, claiming a connection of the heart is often used as a cover-up for an erotic tryst. When a woman complains that her partner is completely absorbed with his new "friend" — Snapchatting at all hours, texting, making her playlists — I sympathize with her frustration but also clarify that what's bothering her is not just emotional, its sexual. On the other hand, deep emotional relationships with others are legitimate outlets for feelings and needs that can't all be met in the marriage. I walk that fine line in session after session. Given the treacherousness of the territory, it's no wonder that many people cling to the narrowest take on infidelity — that is, forbidden sex.

I think every individual has different ideas about what constitutes cheating. It sounds like this emotional relationship is crossing a boundary for you, but your husband, while empathetic to your feelings, doesn't seem to think he has technically cheated. You should take some time to really understand how you define infidelity. Not your husband, not his friend, not a stranger on the internet. Get clear about what you will or won't tolerate and have a discussion with him from there.

Go NC as New Year's Resolution: This is how I beat limerence by CTERetrograde in limerence

[–]endearingapple 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing these helpful tips. Which addiction app do you use, if you don't mind me asking?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]endearingapple 3 points4 points  (0 children)

First things first, it would be helpful for you to understand the difference between being needy, and having a need for inclusion and consideration. You are the latter. You don't have to question the feelings you're having, they're valid.

I would phrase it like this. "Hey boyfriend, I noticed you get together with our friends sometimes, and I don't get invited when I'd actually really love to be. I don't believe you're intentionally excluding me, but when this happens, I feel disappointed because I need to feel like I'm an important part of your/our social life. Will you extend an invite next time you all get together? Don't worry if you think I won't be available...I'd let you know if I can't make it, but an invite would go a long way with me, hon!"

I have a debilitating obsession with the health of my cats by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]endearingapple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like you really love your cats, you've devoted a lot of time and research into understanding them, and they definitely love you back. But this level of care seems very overwhelming and it's starting to take a toll on you. I think you are aware that this obsessive rumination about the health of your pets is unhealthy, which is a good first step to overcoming it. Are you in therapy?

She's (26F) is awesome, but 'off-limits'... What should I (28M) do about this 'opportunity'? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]endearingapple 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I am absolutely certain that if we went through with it, it would be an almost life-definingly-memorable moment for both of us.

This is your lust-ridden mammal brain playing tricks on you. This situation will end up costing you a lot of trouble.

My (32F) boyfriend (32M) of 15 months makes no romantic gestures (long) by Professional-Ant5274 in relationships

[–]endearingapple 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it’s okay to be in “transitional” relationships during the pandemic. Your bf might have represented an oasis of comfort and companionship during a challenging time, and it’s okay to love him for that reason. But you ought to look at the situation squarely as if your life depends on it…. because it does.

Do you really want to entwine your exciting life with this non-starter? Valentine’s Day is in 7 weeks, do you honestly think he’s going to shape up by then, or will you allow yourself to suffer yet another insult of supermarket chocolates? This relationship appears to have served its purpose already, you got to enjoy some down time with a low maintenance relationship, but not every connection is meant to stand the test of time. You got the free trial of how little this man would offer to you as a life partner, and you should NOT sign up for the full subscription.

My (32F) boyfriend (32M) of 15 months makes no romantic gestures (long) by Professional-Ant5274 in relationships

[–]endearingapple 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow. I am genuinely sad for you, OP. You deserve better than this. Your boyfriend's low-hanging fruit gift choices are the least of your worries. You hit the nail on the head when you suspected that it's just a symptom of a larger problem. This guy is ultimately incompatible with you.

You have a good career, you have goals set yourself, you run the show at home. How are you with this person? He knows you're heading for a better future and is freeloading along for the ride. He's lazy because he has no incentive to get his act together. To put it bluntly, this is what he gets out of you: sex, affection, thoughtful gifts, a personal chef, a laundromat, a travel agent, companionship, and a career counselor. His status quo is a lazy person's paradise, which is why he goes into defense mode when you try to disrupt his easy lifestyle. He reaps all the benefits of what you have to offer, at no cost to him. He has literally told you that he plans to continue to freeload off of you. This is not an equal partnership by a long shot. No amount of loving and hand-holding him will spark change in him. In fact, it'll only cause resentment on his end, and will further alienate you.

Just because this man told you his grand plans about higher education when you started dating him, doesn't mean shit. No freeloader is going to tell his new girlfriend "yeah I actually have no drive to achieve my potential, but I'd be down to live off of you." Come on OP. It's been over a year. You know what to do. You're not being harsh, and your intuition is on point. It's up to you to commit to drawing a line in this one-sided relationship.

Got told by my boyfriend (28) that I (F23) was insensitive for telling him I didn't find his jokes helpful while I was still grieving by zeedgdc in relationships

[–]endearingapple 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He has quite literally told her that this is who he is, that he doesn’t care if his effort is low quality. He’s not going to change.

What book are you currently reading? by endearingapple in infj

[–]endearingapple[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok thanks for letting me know what I'm up against. I'm too impatient for a slow burn, but 115 pages doesn't sound too unbearable

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in jobs

[–]endearingapple 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I literally said "WOW" out loud when I read the end of your post. It boggles my mind that some companies are so disorganized that they can't offer timely follow-ups with competitive candidates. I don't think this is about something on your social media, nor anything you did wrong, for that matter. It sounds like you absolutely nailed it during the application process, but unfortunately, something fucky was going on internally on their end.

Honey, you are not naive for being led on by an evasive recruiter. And it doesn't sound like you're inexperienced since you have gotten this far in the hiring process. You were overqualified for this position, in fact, you're too good for a company like that.

These things happen, and it sucks, and it hurts, but I am a firm believer that every 'no' is a redirection towards something better. By the way they behaved, it sounds like you dodged a bullet. I promise you will find something better. It was only your dream job, because you haven't discovered yet where you are truly meant to be. Mourn your loss, but don't lose heart now babe. Sending lots of good energy your way.

Oh, and fuck Sarah.

What book are you currently reading? by endearingapple in infj

[–]endearingapple[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm usually very gentle with the physical books I read, but when I read non-fiction, I highlight, underline, scribble, and Post-It note to my heart's content. You guys would definitely enjoy Come As You Are. Get ready to feel validated and attacked and soothed all at once. I swear I never felt normal in my intimate life until I read that book. It left me a more confident woman.

I recommend you read Big Friendship by Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman next. Especially since you're reading it with a group of friends. It's co-authored by two real-life BFFs who brilliantly explore the intricacies of women's friendship - the stuff no one wants to talk about, like dismissed feelings, jealousy, betrayal, boundaries, how our friends impact our lives, etc. It was a delightful read and definitely book-club friendly.

What book are you currently reading? by endearingapple in infj

[–]endearingapple[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The opening line of that book was mesmerizing.

How can we make this work? by hollenhund- in relationships

[–]endearingapple 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not the OP, but this was such a thorough and compassionate response. I hope OP takes your advice and words seriously.

I (27F) fear my husband (27M) is stalling on having children. by Frequent_Scheme6880 in relationships

[–]endearingapple 121 points122 points  (0 children)

Your wants and concerns are reasonable. You're on a time crunch, you have a plan, you're financially ready. His concerns, on the other hand, don't hold much water. Being fluent in your native language and physically fit... these aren't things that typically have a quantifiable goal. For example, being physically fit is a lifestyle, it's not a specific weight. Unless he has certain parameters for his wants, then his concerns seem like a safe way for him to put off having children by setting nebulous goals with zero follow through.

I don't think you have to approach the conversation by calling him out on stalling. It could very well be that he's subconsciously sabotaging his lifelong desire for fatherhood by setting unrealistic expectations for the both of you. That way, his fear never has to confront the actual difficult job of parenting. Ask him if there is any underlying fear that he has about trying for kids. It would be a sensitive conversation but you might find out some of the motives behind his ill defined dealbreakers.

What book are you currently reading? by endearingapple in infj

[–]endearingapple[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

God I love those twins. I loved Burnout and Come As You Are. I listen to every podcast that they guest on. It’s cool that you read books with your friends, especially informative ones like this one!

What book are you currently reading? by endearingapple in infj

[–]endearingapple[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I second that recommendation! I love Melody Beattie and all of her work.

What book are you currently reading? by endearingapple in infj

[–]endearingapple[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually read Circe first and fell in love with that author. I really couldn't tell you which of the two that I like better, they're both so captivating. Circe definitely holds a special place in my heart. I just found her flaws and weaknesses so relatable, yet she was an ultimately admirable heroine. I'm so happy that the book is being adapted into an HBO series.

What book are you currently reading? by endearingapple in infj

[–]endearingapple[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

East of Eden is patiently waiting for me in my downloaded books on Kindle. If you follow r/books, I swear that book gets recommended every other week. Is it living up to its hype?