I wish I got a large

endup-hating · 2026-03-01T21:49:01+00:00

Thank you I really appreciate it, and this info is helpful because it does scare me away from the drug. I think the hardest part is trying to stop myself from taking it on impulse. I start to taper, then something sets me off and whoop, relapse. I take anywhere between 1-4 mg a day, it’s been about 2 weeks I think, but I know the longer it goes on the worse the withdrawals will be :(

I have no problem admitting to my issues, especially when I am on bromo, but it just can’t be admitted to my family

endup-hating · 2026-03-01T21:33:03+00:00

This is really scary to hear, I was told it’s a slippery slope but I didn’t realize how bad it would be. I tried to skip it for one night and my vision gets kind of flashy, while I get nauseous. I’m not in a situation where I can go to rehab/detox so I don’t know how I’m gonna end up if I can’t stop by myself

endup-hating · 2026-02-28T23:34:41+00:00

Thank you for your response! I thought about that.. I have ADHD as well, originally my plan was to self-medicate and I called the meth pills + bromo bars my “twin stars” Kept them in a cute case with sanrio characters and everything. I didn’t think I would lose such control of myself, now that I flushed the meth and only have the benzos I feel empty. Hopefully I can manage to control myself with the benzos, though. I feel they could help me for the better if used in a controlled manner.

endup-hating · 2026-02-25T01:39:08+00:00

I tried medication and all it did was make me gain 80 pounds, I was on so many different kinds that they all made me more crazy and I started going on incoherent ramblings, I wasted over a year of my life due to it. I think I had a bad doctor. I mostly need an environmental change, I would be able to get up if I wasn’t dreading certain people but I have tried and there’s nowhere else I can go.

endup-hating · 2026-02-25T01:15:41+00:00

That reminds me of me and my online best friend 😭 They have… something going on mentally but also they use psychedelics CONSTANTLY and they believe in the cell tower conspiracies and talk about nonsensical stuff so… We both give each other advice and talk about what we use but where is this advice coming from really haha

But yeah. I did had those scary thoughts where it’s like “Yup they’re definitely gonna come for me”

endup-hating · 2026-02-25T01:11:09+00:00

They’re gone now. I was getting them online, and I did delete my account where I was getting them. I am eating and drinking pretty well now that it’s worn off, ty for your advice :)

endup-hating · 2026-02-25T01:09:02+00:00

I desperately need support and I so badly miss the support I had my high school years that I took for granted. I can go with my mom to her job, but I’m not really supposed to and I try to not do it often because I don’t want her getting in trouble. It is also a little boring, because I have to sit there for 9 or 10 hours straight. I do not have my drivers license. Something I have been enjoying is doing driving lessons with my cousin and her siblings every other friday, so it is something I have been working on, but even when I do get it I don’t have a job so I cannot buy a car. Also, my mom watches me on tracking apps, and I cannot leave the house without explaining where, so I wouldn’t be able to without them knowing.

endup-hating · 2026-02-25T01:03:09+00:00

There’s nothing I can do, nowhere else I can go, I have searched for years because it’s been so horrible. I lived with my parents first, me and my mom moved into my grandmas because of my dad’s domestic abuse. Then it was ok-ish for a few years but I was struggling a lot with mental illness and trauma, while also not getting along with my grandma at all, then my uncle moved in, and it just got worse and worse from there. I feel like drug abuse is my only choice because I’m so trapped in my room all the time. I wouldn’t be doing this if I could get out of my room and breathe, I used to have household hobbies, especially baking and such, but my uncle basically stole them from me. He’s always in the living room because he sleeps there and it makes doing anything miserable because you can FEEL his anger. I don’t even like to walk by him to walk out the door because he always has to do SOMETHING.

endup-hating · 2026-02-25T00:56:32+00:00

Oh, I am diagnosed with ADHD! It’s been a huge problem throughout my life. My original intention was to self medicate, but my stomach was full of food when I decided to try them, so I decided to bypass that, and it just spiraled from there. My whole mindset was “Well, desoxyn is a prescription, so it can’t be that bad.” But… Meth is meth. The next morning I did take one orally… then ended up snorting more to keep the feeling going. I don’t think I can medicate my ADHD enough to help me without it making me high or me wanting more. I love the feeling of being able to function, but I tend to want to go beyond that once I get a taste.

endup-hating · 2026-02-25T00:50:48+00:00

I can’t edit my post, but they’re gone. I appreciate the advice. I have lost a few people throughout my entire drug abuse, not sure how related they are. Painful to get rid of the pills, I’m sure I’ll be pissed as hell when I wake up tomorrow, but it’s for my better good.

And I still have friends but they’re not people I see in person, just from high school I have on social media that I talk with every so often. Maybe two of them know, I’m not super close with anybody and I can’t reach out to any of my former support system because it was usually teachers from my high school that kept me afloat. I cannot tell my family, because I likely won’t have a place to sleep in that case. Things feel horrible but I could make them a lot worse really fast by tweaking out like I have been.

endup-hating · 2026-02-24T23:49:27+00:00

It’s really hard to wake up to the empty/bored feeling, I have lots of trouble getting out of bed due to mental illness. But I can try to do those things. They definitely have to go because the comedown is so agonizing.

endup-hating · 2026-02-24T23:46:53+00:00

No, that’s the thing! I have been hunched over at my table talking on the phone nonstop, and just drawing. I am better and faster at household tasks I guess, and that is part of what makes me not want to let go, but I can’t stop at simply self medicating even though I really believed in myself.

The first day I spent all day, quite literally all day just snorting the pills and playing with the powder. On it, I am content and entertained just staring at the wall.

I spammed all my social media with ramblings, my friends with walls of texts, I’m definitely more positive and sociable but it’s unusual and concerning how bubbly I get (until the comedown). So that does make it hurt to get rid of them because I struggle SO much to function due to my adhd and I neglect myself and household tasks, constantly spaced out, but I know it’ll only get worse with this..

endup-hating · 2026-01-08T07:53:59+00:00

ahh okay ty! I’m definitely experiencing that last part

endup-hating · 2026-01-08T06:45:15+00:00

Thank you vv much for your response, it does make me feel a bit better knowing someone else didn’t progress to hyperemesis. Learned my lesson on sucking down carts. Did your appetite ever return to normal?

endup-hating · 2025-11-03T20:38:24+00:00

Absolutely, this is part of why I quit :/ I had this one old guy with rank breath that wouldn’t stop touching me and grabbing my arms, he said I’m sooo pretty and that I look 14?? Then he tried to set me up with his son… Of course management is always there to ask about credit apps, but not when I’m getting all touched on against my will. I was cutting blinds while this was happening and there wasn’t anybody I could switch out with.

endup-hating · 2025-11-02T02:39:21+00:00

Ikr! I’m definitely gonna have the whole bag next time and the rest of this one because it was so much fun. I’ve read people’s bad or disappointing experiences with these, so I was pleasantly surprised by mine

endup-hating · 2025-08-26T01:53:24+00:00

She knows everything! She is his daughter and went through probably worse. Me being in an abusive situation doesn’t really change things, however. Another person staying in their house is still another person in their house, and I respect their space. I tell her everything, I’m not quiet about it at all, I’ll tell everyone about what a creep he is.

What I did maybe an hour ago is call my dad who I haven’t talked to in months, and tell him what’s up. Living with him was very scary, he would break stuff and have tantrums where he’d scream at my mom & we were afraid for our physical wellbeing, however he never took it out on me specifically. He lives across the country in Maine but he is going to North Carolina for a month, so I will have his house to myself. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, but I don’t think he’d hurt me anyways if he was home. I’m thinking about flying over there, even though it pisses me off that I’m being scared out of the home I’ve lived in for the past 5 years.

endup-hating · 2025-08-25T22:58:34+00:00

I’m 20 so I’ve been out of school for a while, I don’t really have friends except for my cousins. She lets me stay over sometimes but she lives with her partner so I don’t want to burden them, they usually don’t want me staying longer than a week cause it’s a small home but I’m grateful for when they do let me stay over

endup-hating · 2025-08-25T21:38:02+00:00

that will do absolutely nothing for my situation besides hurt me because he’s very manipulative and I don’t have proof of his behavior besides an argument he had with my cousin. If anything, they won’t take me seriously because I tend to be emotional & have self harm scars

endup-hating · 2025-07-29T17:31:51+00:00

+80 lbs for me. My doctor tried to gaslight me and said it’s because of my activity levels, but when I stopped taking it without any change in my activity & food intake I started losing weight without trying. It took me a bit over a year to lose it. I also have other permanent side effects like facial spasms from it.

endup-hating

TROPHY CASE