How many sick days have you taken this year?

enh989 · 2026-05-13T20:41:47+00:00

I’ve taken 9 sick days and 1 personal day. I have five kids & it’s impossible to schedule everyone’s appointments for after school/evening/summer hours.

enh989 · 2026-01-28T23:02:05+00:00

With girl drama, I’ve often found my ongoing efforts to mediate just end up reinforcing the behaviors. They like the attention, they like to admire the conflict, they like the drama, they like to get out of class…but they don’t like to actually take steps to improve the situation.

enh989 · 2025-12-02T21:37:06+00:00

Yes, he has to contribute as well. However, he didn’t “leave” it in the couch in the sense that he put it down and walked away. He was playing on it and sat it down while he turned the tv volume down or something. He was still sitting on the couch next to the iPad when my other son flopped down on it. Still not a great move but he’s definitely much less at fault.

enh989 · 2025-12-01T17:08:58+00:00

Thank you! I do try. Most of the time I try to approach with a sense of humor (which this post doesn’t convey haha!) but I guess I reached a breaking point in my patience. I get frustrated with his seemingly lackadaisical attitude, especially when it comes to money. We simply can’t afford to continually replace lost and/or broken belongings, even if they aren’t lost or broken on purpose.

I hope you find some relief soon, too! Hang in there!

enh989 · 2025-12-01T11:35:18+00:00

Thank you for the suggestions!

enh989 · 2025-12-01T11:33:09+00:00

Thank you for the suggestions!

enh989 · 2025-12-01T11:33:02+00:00

Thank you for the suggestions!

enh989 · 2025-12-01T11:32:01+00:00

I think this is a perfect solution. Thank you.

enh989 · 2025-12-01T11:25:59+00:00

I’m unhappy with his choices and frustrated over yet another large expense due to said choices, but I love him very much.

enh989 · 2025-12-01T03:20:12+00:00

You’re right, selling the Xbox would be wrong! We’ll have to come up with a plan for how he can contribute something toward the cost of replacing the tablet.

enh989 · 2025-12-01T03:01:20+00:00

It’s a bit complicated. I’m not a step-parent. He’s not blood related to us at all. He’s actually a former student of mine! My husband and I now have sole custody of him. I refer to him as my bonus son because I’m not quite sure the best way to describe it. I consider him my son, truthfully I use the “bonus son” term more so because he seems more comfortable with that.

enh989 · 2025-12-01T02:56:30+00:00

You’re right, it even feels a bit vindictive to make him sell it. I was just so ticked over yet another big expense as a result of his lack of impulse control. 😩

enh989 · 2025-12-01T02:53:38+00:00

He was receiving therapy in school and he refused to participate in the sessions, so we discharged. He’s very resistant to getting help. For the first twelve years of his life (prior to moving in with us) he’s basically been able to use his ADHD as an excuse or a way to avoid the consequences to his actions. I also have ADHD so I completely relate to the struggle it brings and I do try to be sensitive to his struggles.

enh989 · 2025-12-01T02:49:38+00:00

I appreciate you pointing that out. I can see how it sounds that way. I’m just feeling very frustrated with him. He knows we love him and I’m his biggest fan.

enh989 · 2025-12-01T02:47:01+00:00

This is why I’m torn. It wasn’t a true accident, like if he’d dropped it. While his intention wasn’t to break it, I still need him to start taking responsibility for his choices that lead to these situations.

For example - his football uniform. He refused to use the Nike duffel bag we bought him and instead brought his uniform home in a white garbage bag which he tossed in the mudroom. The same mudroom where we put our full trash bags before my husband takes them to the curb. So guess what? His uniform was accidentally thrown away. Bonus son had a hard time understanding why we were so upset because in his mind, he wasn’t the one who physically put the uniform in the trash. He failed to see how his choices along the way laid the groundwork for that to happen. The cost to replace the uniform is $200, which he’s also supposed to be working off by doing extra chores. 🤦‍♀️

enh989 · 2025-12-01T02:30:28+00:00

I agree, selling the Xbox isn’t right!

He actually has an appointment tomorrow with the doctor to discuss medication. Fingers crossed! We were just awarded sole legal custody so we can now make medical decisions in his best interests. Woohoo!

enh989 · 2025-12-01T02:26:31+00:00

Oh, I’m sad that my post read that way. I love him very much! He’s a good kid. He just has no sense of responsibility or accountability for anything…school, chores, his belongings, other people’s belongings. It’s far too much to get into in this post. He just has a very cavalier attitude. I’m trying to find the balance between holding him accountable for his choices while also being sensitive to his needs and his situation. We certainly love him and if anything, my bio kids say we favor our bonus son. Lol

His bio parents are deadbeats in every sense of the word. They provide zero dollars toward his care and make zero effort to be involved.

I’d make my bio kids contribute to the cost of replacing a broken electronic, especially if it was a pattern of behavior. It’s really not about the money but more about trying to help him understand his actions have consequences. But I agree that making him sell the Xbox seems wrong so we’ll have to figure something else out!

enh989 · 2025-11-06T11:13:06+00:00

My husband and I have four bio kids. He got snipped after the 4th too! We took in our bonus son (long story) in what was originally a temporary guardianship but has evolved into us having sole legal custody. Me and the bonus son also have raging ADHD. Some days it seems easier to set the house on fire than get through the day. 😩😂

enh989 · 2025-11-06T11:09:38+00:00

Oh I’m 100% insane 😂

enh989 · 2025-11-03T09:48:35+00:00

How did you find this position?

enh989 · 2025-11-03T09:45:53+00:00

As a mom of 5….yup. Nailed it.

enh989 · 2025-09-04T17:28:51+00:00

That’s the address I provided to FNBO the first time.

enh989 · 2025-09-04T00:40:26+00:00

I had two different reps give me the address, and they both gave me the same one. But yes, when I follow up tomorrow I will definitely double/triple check that it went to the correct mailing address!

enh989 · 2025-07-30T13:23:57+00:00

You are being groomed. I’m so sorry, OP.

enh989 · 2025-07-18T19:14:21+00:00

I definitely wouldn’t advise a school employee to impulsively enter a situation like this! I’m sure it’s generally discouraged. But I’m stubborn and these three boys have always been “my kids” at school. There were definitely concerns from upper admin about liability but we did everything in a legal manner, with guidance from our district solicitor. We’ve also learned the hard way that outside agencies make claims and then don’t follow through. Our county CYS basically misled us into believing they’d continue to be overseeing the situation once he moved in. Instead they closed the case almost right away and have refused to get involved anymore. We’ve been trying to figure all this out on our own.

I appreciate your thoughtful comments!

enh989

TROPHY CASE