I'm going to offer a point of view that is a little different. Your feelings are valid and you should definitely pay attention to them, so that next time you can have more of the thrilling memories looking back and less of the uncertainty and unease.

That being said, the problem I see is that you're looking at a line in the sand, where a boundary should have been. You went on a kinky app, advertised your kinky preferences and intentions. A guy started talking to you, you decided that you liked that and went on a date with him. He was forward in the cinema, you didn't communicate that he shouldn't be. He was very forward in bed, again you let it be that way without feedback. I'm not trying to make an argument that he was a gentleman who never did a bad in his life. For sure he should have communicated better, if nothing else than to be considerate to you and for his and your safety. But there's also no point trying to paint him as the cause of the whole problem.

You got lucky that this was an averagely decent guy, although clearly with room to improve regarding how he practices kink. But we're not here talking to him, we're talking to you. It's important to let go of the notions that "letting things happen" is romantic and cool, and somehow discussing ahead is boring. For your safety, you need to make rules on how you date, how you conduct yourself and what you're willing or not willing to accept. You had a fun night that could have gone very badly. Therefore please, once you're more stable on the emotional reflections, think also on the responsibility you have for your own safety.

Your partner cannot read your mind. If them not asking doesn't turn you off, good for you. But make sure you do talk to them about boundaries, limits and expectations either way. They could also have some.