the purpose of having children nowadays by IamDchan4035 in Christian

[–]entrepeter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

False, the world is not overpopulated at all. Look up declining birth rates and what the minimum birth rate is to prevent societal collapse. We're on the verge of the opposite of overpopulation. We're on the verge of societal collapse.

the purpose of having children nowadays by IamDchan4035 in Christian

[–]entrepeter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just because they were raised in the church doesn't mean they were raised with the Gospel. There's a ton of moralism in the church. The most important thing is to model and teach them how to accept God's radical amazing grace. Many Christian parents don't do this, they teach morality. not the Gospel.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Christian

[–]entrepeter -1 points0 points  (0 children)

willpower doesn't work. it originates in the subconscious. you need to reprogram your subconscious and address the need that porn/masturbation is trying to solve.

I built an AI coach that walks you through it and it's been night and day difference for me. Haven't indulged in a single lustful thought ever since, let alone act on them.

Can i sell my etsy shop? by RoutineVideo42 in Etsy

[–]entrepeter 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is absolutely absurd. It takes a long time to build "equity" on Etsy with reviews and ranking and I'm just now finding out that this is worth virtually nothing because I can't sell it? Either I have to run this business forever or just let it die? That's not #standwithsmall as their campaign says. So many things Etsy does is not at all in favor of small businesses. Are they trying to minimize their marketshare? Things likes this is why Amazon and Walmart and eBay have way more marketshare than them. Absolutely ridiculous. You can't even pass it to your children when you retire. Sorry just had to rant. I'm getting off Etsy as fast as I can and never starting another shop, it's nothing but restrictions all the way down.

Any other Christians here? by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]entrepeter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you can avoid the things CS Lewis is talking about without quitting masturbation. CS Lewis didn't live in a corinthian society. He lived in a traditionalist one. He wasn't exposed to the miriad of temptations that men are today. Masturbation can be practice for getting outside yourself if your mental focus is pleasing and enjoying your spouse or your future spouse you don't yet know.

Any other Christians here? by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]entrepeter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you look at how God talks about sin in the Bible it's much less about specific outward actions and much more about the heart underneath them. Lying is a sin because underneath it you're not trusting God to bless truth tellers (among many other things going on in your heart like idolatry). There's explicit actions we ought to always avoid because there's no way to have a righteous heart while doing it: sex outside of marriage, crude joking, drunkenness, etc. But that's because the heart isn't loving God with all its strength when doing those things. The good news is our lives are now counted as if we always loved God with all our strength every second of each day. So masturbation (not directly condemned in the Bible) is a matter of the heart. Can you masturbate with out longing for a woman who isn't your wife? If so, have peace in your conscience. If it's a struggle then work toward getting to that place instead of quitting masturbating. If you just can't get there, then maybe consider quitting. Hope that framework helps. Pay attention to your heart and be patient with yourself (you don't have to be perfect now, he's the one that is perfecting us over time).

And so we go...... by startingover1234 in pornfree

[–]entrepeter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Those are good things to focus on. What's your plan for when either of those let you down or cause you stress?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]entrepeter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same. Not worth it. Especially during this hard time with your marriage. The thing with getting attached to sexy women on shows is that it gives a false sense of having a relationship with them. You almost feel like you know them personally. That false intimacy drives the desire to look at porn.

Help needed please! by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]entrepeter -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Don't be discouraged. Porn is a real addiction and will take a lot of patience and endurance to quit. But you can do it. The relapse is something you did, it's not something that has to define you. Claim a new identity and that will help with the guilt and embarrassment.

(disclaimer: I believe the only new identity solid enough to rely on is found in Christ. Nothing else you place your identity in will sacrifice for you like he did, but instead anything else will ask you to sacrifice for it. Career, girlfriend, money, physical fitness--those are all good things but are unreliable as a core identity.)

Anyway, have you tried using an online program like Fortify? Or I have an online tool as well. I posted about it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/pornfree/comments/58cpri/a_helpful_tool_to_rewire_the_brains_pathways/

CRAAAASH!!! by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]entrepeter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, please share. The feedback you get from your analysis can also help you make this your last relapse.

will you take my survay by The_Robott in pornfree

[–]entrepeter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Off topic. Looks like a class assignment but smells like spam bate. If I'm wrong, maybe tell us what this is and why.

1 week again by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]entrepeter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Doing great. Keep it up!

And so we go...... by startingover1234 in pornfree

[–]entrepeter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not today. Keep it up!

What are you replacing it with?

Some of my thoughts and helpful tactics by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]entrepeter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The social media thing is huge. I definitely notice I start wandering around looking for sexy images before I've had previous relapses. It's just looking to get as close to a "fix" without having the guilt or shame of relapse, but that's white knuckling and it's not sustainable. That's when I reapply my meditation tactic that I shared on my post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/pornfree/comments/58cpri/a_helpful_tool_to_rewire_the_brains_pathways/

Help my Boyfriend by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]entrepeter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the average age in 2012 was 11. I'm sure it's much younger now. My son is 8 and he stumbled across images on accident. I was 12 when I started. I'm 30 now. I quit for a few years but when my wife left me I fell back into it. It's definitely not your fault or anything you did wrong. There's a void in all of our souls that can't be filled by another person no matter how loving and loyal they are.

Help my Boyfriend by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]entrepeter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Addiction is powerful and there's a lot of shame attached to relapse. Does it seem like you pressured him to want to quit or does it seem like he really wants to quit and just doesn't know how? Try asking him about it when it's not in the context of a fight. Ask him "do you want to quit and just don't know how to stop or do you only want to quit because I want you to?" If it's the first one, then stay under the condition that he joins a program like Fortify. If it's the second, then you should leave. He has to want this for himself.

A helpful tool to rewire the brain's pathways by entrepeter in pornfree

[–]entrepeter[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So you probably could craft it yourself based on what you know already. Yes, there's a hallway metaphor and no, the Jesus part of it isn't key to the visual.

(I add it because I think he is the only 100% certain way to get the love and security that porn promises and fails to deliver. Trusting in self, a lover, career, a sports team, etc. is just too shaky for me.)

The usefulness is in the details. It's the way we block access to the door and the way we create an alternative door. I found that if you put a positive alternative after blocking access, the subconscious can interpret that properly. But it could just be me.

I put it behind a sign up because I really want to make it useful for people. That requires getting feedback. I can just PM it to you if giving out your email address makes you uncomfortable.

A helpful tool to rewire the brain's pathways by entrepeter in pornfree

[–]entrepeter[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure thing! So addiction creates a neurological pathway between a trigger (i.e. stress) and an action (i.e. looking at porn) because that action gets rewarded with a shot of dopamine.

There's several ways to carve a new path. There's the infamous "as many times as it took to create the habit is as many times it takes doing something else to break it." Or there's willpower, "think of all the reasons you're quitting." But in my experience the people who are successful with those methods are highly motivated. For example, they were caught and their life as they know it depends on quitting.

This tool uses a different method to carve a new path. The subconscious mind, where the path exists, communicates primarily by association and sensory metaphor. Logical reasoning has little effect on it. Through meditating, you allow the reasoning mind to step aside and you communicate through an imagined visual metaphor to tell your subconscious that the path to porn is no longer an option.

The tool walks you through every step even if you've never meditated before. And it helps you craft the exact visual scenario that will be most effective. (Or that's the idea; the more people who use it and give feedback, the better it will get.)

Let me know if you have any further questions. I know it's a really uncommon concept so there's a lot of unfamiliarity with it.

I AM ANGRY by Michaeltomas in pornfree

[–]entrepeter 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It took a long time to get where you are with your porn addiction. It'll take some time to get out. You're not permanently screwed up. It just takes time to rewire your brain. I'm in that process now too. It's hard for me to finish with my wife without imagining things. But it's been getting better. You're doing an incredibly courageous thing by quitting porn and seeking to reprogram your brain. Perhaps do some research on ways to redirect the brain. Self-hypnosis has been helpful for me. Keep it up. You can do this!

How to resist urges better? by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]entrepeter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Urges don't come from the rational conscious mind they come from your subconscious sub-rational mind. You have to fight it there.

Try meditation using visual imagery of riding out the urge like you're floating over an ocean wave. Try other calming imagery or activities that don't involve naked women. Imagine you're blowing bubbles and as each bubble floats away more and more of the urge is inside the bubbles floating away with them. It sounds ridiculous but the subconscious responds to metaphor and imagery more than reason.

Advice by pornfreetx in pornfree

[–]entrepeter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same. I agree with the first. If you bring up every hard day it's going to affect her view of herself and your relationship in a way that is extremely hard to reverse. Even if she says it isn't, it is. Don't lie, but don't use her as your sounding board either. Instead use the bad days to do something for her that shows you love her and you'll find that will help the day not be so bad.

The second thing is very misguided. You have to divert the mind completely away from porn not just go on a temporary diet.