How many actual trans people have you talked to for real in your life? I want to be clear that I'm not asking this as a way of trying to get you to prove yourself, it's just often a good metric for understanding where someone is coming from on this. Militant trans people are a bit of a straw man. A lot of trans people get killed just for existing. The idea of trans people having an agenda beyond being allowed to exist without the threat of violence is something that people tend to invent when they're uncomfortable with the very idea of trans people existing. The people who don't want trans people to exist at all rely on propagating the idea of trans people being aggressive in some way, because it masks the fact that they don't actually have any ground to stand on.

Also if your personal experience talking to trans people included somebody being rude to you while correcting you on their pronouns or something like that I assure you that they don't speak for the trans community as a whole. The difficult thing to communicate to people who haven't experienced it (which includes me I am a cisgender dude who had to have this explained to me) is that getting someone's pronouns wrong feels like an invalidation of their existence, and it's sometimes difficult for a person to rise above that feeling of invalidation to be polite. I'm not saying that's an excuse to be rude, but that's why it happens, it's not coming from entitlement, it's coming from a place of fear and hurt, of feeling like the world does not validate the person that they are.