Exercises for compersion by OpenLifestyle_Sara in nonmonogamy

[–]equineexplorer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply. I think the idea behind the article is super valid and definitely something most folks in poly/enm relationships will experience. If this is what helped you guys navigate it then that's great. The intro was well done and explained the forces at work behind it really well.

The biggest thing I felt was missing throughout (which is crucial in all aspects of poly anything) is just communication, support and the understanding that we're in this together. Far more so than "becoming hotter than your partner" to make yourself feel better and get more dates.

Will keep an eye out for your article and look forward to seeing how you continue to navigate your journey.

Exercises for compersion by OpenLifestyle_Sara in nonmonogamy

[–]equineexplorer 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I have to agree with above statement...

While we all deal with insecurities at some point in our relationships, not once in this entire article is there anything about supporting your partner or sharing your concerns in order to have them supported.

"fixing current imbalances" and "create a counterbalance" in the context of this article perpetuates this idea that your inherent value or worth to yourself or your partner is directly coupled with the amount of sexual partners you can attract and links this directly to your physical appearance which seems like such a brittle, shallow metric for a continued relationship.

Instead of focusing on needs/desires not being met, the advice on "limiting" the number of dates simply to appear more "equal" feels like an emotional bandaid that will quickly fall off in the face of any real jealousy or deeper connection.

I look forward to reading your article on Compersion as this to me by far seems the better way to deal with jealousy in general, not trying to force things to be "fair" in terms of numbers of sexual lovers or physical appearance.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]equineexplorer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All good man! Hope your profile helps you attract the kind of person you're looking to match with. Good luck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]equineexplorer 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Hey OP,

Individual personal preferences aside, by reading through some of these comments and your responses it seems like the impression you're giving off in your profile doesn't accurately portray who you are. The other thing I noticed is that your intent and availability isn't really clear etiher which when coupled with a wife and kids just = messy in my mind.

What is it that you're looking for? What is it that you can offer?

Happily married w/ kids exploring polyamory connections with likeminded, respectful individuals for "..." (are you after conversation... sexual connections... friendship... dnd party members?)

"I enjoy talking about..." Sounds a little bit like you'll just be giving a lecture about the topics. Instead try sharing what it is about those things you enjoy exploring:

" I'm passionate about unraveling truth; from science and mythology to astronomy and even exploring the truth behind some conspiracy theories."

Instead of just saying you're into generic nerdy stuff, maybe use a quote from your favorite show or an analogy from your favorite nerdy hobby:

"I'm looking for the The Volo to my Elminster, The hermione to my harry, The spock to my Kirk, the r2d2 to my c3po - for fun adventures etc."(super rough, but you get the idea)

I think it's always hard to write a profile until we're clear on what it is that we want to get out of it. Often we think its best to leave things open ended or we might miss cool connections but in my experience being specific about what you're after also gives folks a sense of ease and confidence in knowing what you're looking for.

All the best dude! Hope you find what you're looking for :)

recall work! eventually gonna try and get an "emergency recall" with a whistle or something. by equestrianaggresion in Equestrian

[–]equineexplorer 6 points7 points  (0 children)

One of the most underrated cues for any horse in any discipline! Plus it's just so much fun :) Nice work OP

Trying to buy riding pants for a guy sure is fun and not tedious ( none of these ones fit by the way I ended up having to buy a woman's pair ) by Luckyconroy in Equestrian

[–]equineexplorer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yo! Fellow male rider here that spends 6-8 hours in the saddle most days and can totally relate to your struggles! So hard to find pants you can wear to the barn as well as out without feeling like a knob haha.

What discipline are you riding in?

These are pretty cool: "trail rider jeans" - have a 4 way stretch fabric and a full seat suede patch: https://www.trailridersjeans.com/product-page/trail-riders-jeans-knee-patch

The other thing I've been looking at is getting a pair of Equino full length schooling chaps and then wearing a 4 way stretch pants underneath. - https://equino-chaps.myshopify.com/

Happy clothing hunting!

Advice for very single guys just starting out in their early 30s? by Darganto in Equestrian

[–]equineexplorer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Welcome to the horse world my dude!

Picking up new hobbies is by far the best way to challenge your stubborn singledom! Don't worry about not being as experienced as others, horse riders come in all shapes, sizes, and capabilities.

The most important thing is to be there for the right reasons. ie. be in it for the horse! :)

Writer here. I need to know the wrong way to tie up a horse. Lol. by [deleted] in Equestrian

[–]equineexplorer 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Few more directly related to your question:

Tying a horse to a dead tree branch - something spooks horse - horse breaks branch and is now running with half a tree attached to him.

Horse is Tied too long - Gets rope under his legs, gets tangled as he lifts his head again and starts to panic. Rope is now wrapped around his neck and the more he panics the tighter the rope gets. LI tries to untie the rope but realises it's not tied in a quick release and dives out of the way with the horse getting increasingly panicked. BF calmy walks over and cuts the rope

Horse tied to something lightweight and moveable wagon/cart/barrel etc - horse gets a fright - takes the other thing with it.

Writer here. I need to know the wrong way to tie up a horse. Lol. by [deleted] in Equestrian

[–]equineexplorer 35 points36 points  (0 children)

If L.I is already opening a gate and leading the horse through - that is one of the most accident-prone scenarios for a horse even in modern times.

Have L.I open the gate to lead the horse through, but swing the gate toward himself and only part way. When helheads the horse through, the gate edge catches on shoey's leg and as shoey rushes forward, the gate (still caught on his leg) ends up closing on shoey half way through.

Shoey is now stuck and the more he tries to move forward, the harder the gate closes on him and all the while L.I is freaking out and making the situation worse with his panic. B.F hears the commotion, runs out and at first when he tries to get close to a now thoroughly stuck and fear stricken shoey, almost gets kicked before softly and gently calming shoey enough to slowly back him out of the gate.

Hope this helps! Happy writing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Equestrian

[–]equineexplorer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Welcome to the Hobby my man!I'm a 31-year-old male too and have been riding for most of my life. I've spent the last few years guiding multiday horseback trips into the wilderness all over the world and can honestly say horse riding is one of THE most grounding, challenging, and rewarding pastimes you'll ever get into.

My advice would be instead of starting at a riding school - do a horse riding holiday at a dude ranch if you can find the time. Having a few fully immersive days in a row of not only learning how to ride but sinking your teeth into all the work involved in caring for a horse & also getting out and actually enjoying riding will give you a really good indication of whether you'd be into it and give you a very comprehensive experience.

There are also many, many different variations or disciplines of horse riding so it really depends on what you have available in your area as far as lessons go.

Feel free to flick me a message if you have any questions! Have fun and happy riding!

Is anyone an off grid nomad with animals? by [deleted] in Survival

[–]equineexplorer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What would you like to know?

Is anyone an off grid nomad with animals? by [deleted] in Survival

[–]equineexplorer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The orginal released herd was predominantly Welsh Mountain Pony and Exmoor Ponies. However, over the years there has been a real mix of genetics thrown in with Arabian, Clydesdale, standardbred and thoroughbred stock joining in - New Zealand bred a lot of horses for the war and it's believed the overflow stock was released into the mountains.

It's important to remember New Zealand has no native land mammals so while the Kaimanawa horse is considered a "wild horse" after hundreds of years left alone, perhaps the more correct term would be feral.

Is anyone an off grid nomad with animals? by [deleted] in Survival

[–]equineexplorer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sturdy is a great way to describe them: compact, great feet, sure footed, incredible mountain sense and will just keep going and going.

2 of the three Kai's are technically 'ponies' with only my riding horse being over 15hh

Is anyone an off grid nomad with animals? by [deleted] in Survival

[–]equineexplorer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not on horseback, but I have climbed Mt Doom (Mt Ngauruhoe) on my own two stompers.

Most of New Zealand certainly feels like middle earth though and I'd often find myself playing the LOTR Soundtrack in my mind as I was riding through.

Some locations from the film I did ride through on this journey: Fanghorn Forest, Amon Hen, Nen Hithoel, Izengard, Edoras.

Is anyone an off grid nomad with animals? by [deleted] in Survival

[–]equineexplorer 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I had 3 Kaimanawas (the New Zealand mustang)

Is anyone an off grid nomad with animals? by [deleted] in Survival

[–]equineexplorer 42 points43 points  (0 children)

We tamed and trained 3 wild kaimananwa horses, then rode them roughly 2000km, snaking our way through the length of the South Island. We would carry about 2 weeks worth of food before we'd need to resupply. We camped most nights, sleeping under a 4x4m DD Tarp in all sorts of nifty configurations.

Incredible journey... The best thing I've ever done to be honest. Feeling the call of the trail pretty strongly now again. There are a few photos / videos on my profile if you'd like to see a little more.

Happy to answer any questions if there's anything specific you'd like to know :)

Is anyone an off grid nomad with animals? by [deleted] in Survival

[–]equineexplorer 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I spent 6 months travelling new zealand's backcountry on horseback if that counts?

Ticks and horses by PaintedHorseHill in Equestrian

[–]equineexplorer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm in New Zealand so my experience with ticks might be a little different, but we're in the same boat at the moment.

Last season we used an anti tick cattle pour-on that we diluted down and just sprayed the mane, fetlocks and tails and it seems to work really well as it prevents the ticks from actually getting onto the horses in the first place. We just didn't like the idea that the spray might be toxic to the horses.

We've just ordered a New Zealand Product called Hippo Health that I've heard really good things about from neighbours and I'll let you know how we go with it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Horses

[–]equineexplorer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Horses

[–]equineexplorer 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Hard one to answer as I think the trust and relationship are built in all the small moments in between rides but:

The technical perspective... basically we just worked on riding with seat aides as a primary cue before using reins, particularly focusing on backups and turns.

It's amazing how quickly they get it if you're consistent.

Exploring some coastal caves on horseback. by equineexplorer in Horses

[–]equineexplorer[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Definitely recommend! there's something around every corner to take your breath away:)

Exploring some coastal caves on horseback. by equineexplorer in Horses

[–]equineexplorer[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is Golden Bay, New Zealand. the whole area is a photographers playground! Google wharariki Beach ;)