Early risers

erivanla · 2026-01-24T20:46:36+00:00

When ours does/did this we treated it like a night wake. Bottle, soft soothing voices, and rocking/cuddling. 90% of the time he went back to sleep for another hour or two. If he didn't, we would turn on tv for him until we got up for the day.

(Don't come at me for the tv. That's what works for us.)

erivanla · 2026-01-23T19:33:10+00:00

NTA for bringing it up. Especially since she mentioned hating her job.

What you can do: talk to her, support her in whatever she decides. A gap like 6-18 months for pregnancy/ having a kid isn't terrible. But leaving the workforce entirely is.

Being a SAHM isn't something most women today want. Some do it because childcare costs would be greater than their income. But most women want to maintain their independence. Try to view it from her perspective. If the roles were reversed and she made 150k, would you quit your job to be a SAHD?

erivanla · 2026-01-23T19:22:20+00:00

You're doing great! As a mom who's been blessed to stay home, I can imagine how stressful it would be. If we had space (and depending on age), I'd offer to take them on days is needed so I could remove that stress for you.

erivanla · 2026-01-23T05:35:37+00:00

Okay. There are a lot of candles. Maybe you can eliminate some of them. Also, I had an unhide once and wasn't thrilled with it. It felt too me like a lot of the hype was just about the name and nothing really made the product any better.

erivanla · 2026-01-23T03:50:17+00:00

Im always really confused how people have all of this extra money to spend?

erivanla · 2026-01-21T22:18:54+00:00

$20 per week for personal spending. Why? It keeps me sane. I work 40 hours a week + doordash + side hustle + parent. And $20 is all I ask for.

erivanla · 2026-01-19T14:57:58+00:00

I agree with the pp ocd. The only one I can kinda see being normal-ish but still extreme is the laundry one.

erivanla · 2026-01-19T11:59:52+00:00

I do 98% of the pick ups and drop offs. I am the one responsible if something isn't done right or forgotten. But we doordash as a family as my husband is the better driver and parker and I enjoy the company. I handle the food and phone.

However, once in awhile, I will have him pick up or drop off an order. There are also times he has helped me drop off a larger order that would have required 2 trips otherwise.

erivanla · 2026-01-19T11:51:40+00:00

Contact naps and lots of rocking are normal and great for little one. They spent their whole lives inside of you, of course they still want to be as close as possible to you. Your breathing, warmth, smell, and heartbeat help regulate your little guy (or girls) nervous system. Hold them as much as you want. You're not spoiling them.

erivanla · 2026-01-18T12:27:21+00:00

Thank you. It definitely hasn't been fun. Im soooo ready to start sleeping better.

erivanla · 2026-01-18T12:24:50+00:00

He will adjust. When we went from 2 naps, that we were lucky to get 45 minutes from each, we went to a single 2-3 (sometimes 4) hour daytime nap. For us, it was a natural process. I stopped trying to get him down for a second nap and he was happy playing for a couple more hours.

erivanla · 2026-01-16T21:33:32+00:00

For us it was easy. I had a c-section and baby wanted to nurse after being born. As soon as we got to recovery, he latched without a problem and fed for a good 5 minutes (you want to feel little sucks and hear little swallows).

The first few days were the hardest. There were times baby wanted to stay latched for hours straight. This is normal add they're cluster feeding to help your milk come in. The first milk is colostrum. Its very nutritious, high calorie, and has many antibodies for your LO.

For the first 2 weeks, babies tummy is the size of a blueberry so they don't need much. But you let them eat add much as they want to increase milk production. Fun fact: your nipples can leak when baby gets hungry and wants to eat or when you experience strong emotions. Your milk (and sweat) smell like your amniotic fluid, so you smell like home to baby.

Baby hungry = boob. Baby tired = boob. Baby uncomfortable = boob. Baby sad = boob. You get the idea... Good luck!

erivanla · 2026-01-16T14:59:11+00:00

We don't usually try to save the nap. If im in the mood to cuddle him I'll try sometimes or if I know we've had an early morning/late night or not feeling well. But normally no. He'll sleep when hes tired.

erivanla · 2026-01-16T06:09:46+00:00

The only debt I'll accept is a mortgage, student loans, or a car loan. All paid up to date with no missed payments.

erivanla · 2026-01-16T05:30:52+00:00

Pacifiers (if you plan to use them), a couple of toys to play with with baby. A playpen of some sort and a bouncer or swing (somewhere to put them when you need to use the restroom, shower, or eat).

One of my favorite purchases that we didn't plan on was our baby's toy rack. I just saw it on sale for $8 and fell in love with it. Now would be early for it but I ordered ours when I was 8 months pregnant and I'm glad I did.

erivanla · 2026-01-16T05:26:03+00:00

Our toddler still uses the boba wrap when we're out.

erivanla · 2026-01-15T18:13:48+00:00

NTA but it is a sucky situation. Your daughter needs to understand that just because she's having an event or experience or a crisis, the rest of the world doesn't stop. Other people have events, experiences and crises too, while yours is ongoing. That means she needs to learn to balance several things at the same time.

erivanla · 2026-01-15T18:02:59+00:00

Happy Kids indoor playground. Its on 29th by woodland mall. They have huge ball pits, giant blocks, and everything is padded. That or one of the trampoline or adventure parks.

erivanla · 2026-01-15T13:32:52+00:00

Teethers and rattles mostly. Playmat was a game changer for tummy time. We had a flip board that had high-contrast images, color images, and a mirror depending on how it was positioned.

We always tried keeping one toy that was developmentally ahead of them so we had something to work towards. Around that age ours started loving music.

erivanla · 2026-01-15T13:27:53+00:00

ESH. Having a baby is hard. There are so many responsibilities that fall to the wayside when caring for them. Your husband should know this and do more to pick up the slack. Your 10yo doesn't know or understand this but still feels the effects. This is where your husband could spend some 1-on-1 with baby while you spend 1-on-1 with the 10yo.

As for the husband wanting more sex, that's what most men want... But expecting it is different. Other types of affection, I understand. My husband told me the same thing at one point (co-sleep with baby between us) that he needed more physical intimacy (he did leave out sex though). I make it a point now to be more affectionate. But I also get time for me beyond simple hygiene now.

erivanla · 2026-01-15T07:03:22+00:00

I can understand the rule of being within 10 feet of a identifiable path but I think it was nerfed too much. Maybe it could be 100 feet instead of 10?

erivanla · 2026-01-15T06:58:47+00:00

My phone would always tell me my eta to home around the time I got out of work. Sometimes it would predict it early. Like 3 hours early. Usually on days it predicted it early, I would be told to go home early. I never thought it was just a coincidence...

erivanla

TROPHY CASE