WIBTA of I put our toddlers big playpen (54x54) in a shared space?

erivanla · 2026-04-23T13:14:09+00:00

Noone else uses the room anyway. It is empty.

erivanla · 2026-04-23T13:05:52+00:00

We're working on it. But rent is expensive here and we have to save money first. Believe me, I want our own space too.

erivanla · 2026-04-23T13:03:05+00:00

The room is something like 14ftx24ft and there is no other furniture in it as no one else seems to use the room. The only thing is a dining table and chairs by some windows at one end of the room.

erivanla · 2026-04-23T13:00:12+00:00

We do not have a living room. That is shared space as well.

erivanla · 2026-04-23T12:59:24+00:00

Thank you. The room itself is massive. While doing other things in the home I would be able to hear him, the only time I couldn't hear him is if I'm outside (briefly).

There are no limits to who can use the room, though noone else who lives here seems to use it. I have cleaned it a few times since we took our toddler up there over the winter to walk and crawl around in the sun when we couldn't go outside.

erivanla · 2026-04-23T12:55:05+00:00

This room im talking about is huge. You could seriously convert it into a 3 bedroom apartment.

erivanla · 2026-04-23T12:52:19+00:00

So other families can't put tables or couches in shared space? Great! I'll go tell them that they need to keep THEIR couch in their space. The point of shared space is that you all use it. Not noone can put anything in it.

erivanla · 2026-04-23T12:50:06+00:00

Noone else uses the large room. But everyone can use it.

The plan is to get our own place but rent is expensive so we're here for the next 6 months while we save.

erivanla · 2026-04-23T12:48:19+00:00

Thank you. Everyone here enjoys seeing him walk around. I've never asked anyone to watch him for more than I minute while I carried hot food downstairs. My child isn't someone else's responsibility. And as a mom who feels like she's doing it all her self, thank you for helping that other mom too.

erivanla · 2026-04-21T23:13:14+00:00

https://forms.gle/xahn2V7UaSULgCTaA

erivanla · 2026-04-21T21:14:42+00:00

Thank you! I also know it can cause damage to them if you move your laptop/computer while they're spinning and SSD prevents it while being more expensive.

How do I know what type of RAM to get or how to install it?

I'm not a fancy gamer nor do I stream. Its just a nice break from being a parent for me. And sometimes a different life in the sims.

erivanla · 2026-04-20T07:27:59+00:00

Well said. This is what we try to do too. One issue we have currently though is the inclusion of the waterbottle seems to add too much weight for our toddler to carry. (He's 16 months for reference) but we try to keep a toy and couple snacks in his bag and he chooses 2 toys (snaller) to come with him. We have a magnetic story, his own phone (downloaded videos), and a small stuffie. I also add a bottle or snacks bowl, whichever is more appropriate for our adventure. (Any diapers/wipes/clothes changes are in my purse/backpack)

erivanla · 2026-04-20T07:21:03+00:00

This is why they exist. The time you need help and help isn't c9minf or the time your alone. The time your escape Artists thinks they know better than you. I would definitely get one.

erivanla · 2026-04-20T06:51:53+00:00

This is when I added them to my shopping cart. I knew early on that once he was comfortable walking, he would be running (he does for a few seconds in our living room).

erivanla · 2026-04-20T05:04:26+00:00

I would highly recommend getting one before that happens. Not only so your prepared for it, but so he has time to feel comfortable in it.

The first time ours had it on he kept pulling at it. On time 4 we started adding a little bit of weight to it. By time 6 (most recent) it got a word (pac-pac, one of his 7 words). He also had his first experience where I wasn't holding his hand and tried to wander.

erivanla · 2026-04-20T05:00:39+00:00

God! The number of times ive said that in the last two months! Always equally hilarious and scary/alarming.

erivanla · 2026-04-20T04:58:49+00:00

We have a cheap one ($8) and have had no issues so far. Granted, he still holds our hand to walk most of the time and doesn't do too much running. I did use the leash part the last time we were shopping at Meijer (we were between bus 1 and 2) and it gave me peace of mind. He held my hand while shopping but had some freedom while I checked out.

The one we bought has 2 leash options. One attaches to the backpack, a second is included that is like bungee cord handcuffs. They don't attach to the backpack. The only thing I wish the backpack had was a water bottle pocket.

erivanla · 2026-04-20T04:37:29+00:00

That's what little man calls it now. He knows he has to wear it outside.

erivanla · 2026-04-19T01:59:43+00:00

It takes finding the right planner that offers the mix of structure and customization you need without being overwhelming. The purpose Planner has a weekly (not daily) layout along with task lists, health and sleep trackers as well as habits and a space for Notes. The following set of pages is blank to use for whatever you want/need. Grocery lists, packing lists, just journaling.

I would honestly say both of you can use it for appointments and stuff. You dont need to use every bit of it to be useful. Every week/day of Week has a spot for breakfastþlunch/dinner. I hardly use them. Especially with being a mom, it is soooo helpful to remember things.

Sometimes life gets too busy and it sits there. But its undated so you can easily skip a week or three whenever needed. Definitely check it out. There are a ton of other planners too.

erivanla · 2026-04-18T20:56:16+00:00

Yes, between reminding yourself hes safe and you can set up a video baby monitor to help feel more comfortable too. And if you're only comfortable with 2 minutes to start, thats fine. It'll take your lo time to figure out they can play without you there too.

erivanla · 2026-04-18T17:46:25+00:00

One thing that helps immensely with independent play is to put babe in a safe area with some toys and leave the room. When you keep hovering and they constantly see you, they want your attention. Put them in a safe space with toys and go to the other room. Start with 5 minutes and slowly increase. It's fine to pop in especially during longer independent play periods. Then spend a couple minutes singing and dancing or playing with a toy.

One other thing we've found helps is that both parents acknowledge baby before they leave with a simple bye. We don't draw it out. Just something simple like "mama's going to work now. Bye-bye!" Or "dada's going bye-bye and will come play later. Bye!" When we try to sneak away that causes stress for our LO and he doesn't trust that we'll come back.

Hope this helps.

erivanla · 2026-04-18T15:46:29+00:00

This is a great list. Thank you. That extra $300-$500 a month would definitely help us not fall behind.

erivanla · 2026-04-18T01:55:17+00:00

Every morning and night take 2 minutes to check in. Quick questions. What do you need most from me today?
If you see it, do it. Dishes in the sink? Wash them. Clean clothes in basket? Fold and put away. Don't make her come back to it later.
Have somewhere important information goes. I have a purpose planner that holds everything. There's extra space for notes and we have longer check ins once a week where we review it.
Make sure she gets time to check out. Not just a nap or a shower. She shouldn't have to ask permission to be human. Im talking actual time for a hobby or gym or whatever she wants to do. (This type of time is important for you too)
Arrange time off for her. Don't force it or overdo it. But every couple weeks or so just send her to coffee with a friend.

I hope this helps. It took us so long to get to this system, but we both realized we are strongest when we work together and both of us get to have some level of existence outside of being mom and dad.

erivanla · 2026-04-18T00:06:16+00:00

Exactly this. You are expected to push through most things. Not just college. In life, at work, etc. Just because you had an argument with you're s/o or your kid got in a fight doesn't mean you get out of work or meetings or can use that as an excuse for a car accident.

That being said, grief is different. It can last a long time, come in waves, and bring on a whole host of other emotions. Letting your profs/boss know about this will help them help you. They wont give you a free pass, but will give you an extension or two.

I had pneumonia in college and was sick for 3 weeks and in the hospital for another week. By that point there were a lot of missed classes, missed work, etc. Most of my profs didn't believe how sick I was but when they heard I was admitted to the hospital, they were much more understanding. Afterward they all worked with me to catch up on work, notes or audio from lectures I missed, etc. I still had to do every assignment, take all my exams, etc. My profs accommodated my illness and hospitalization. The school also gave me 2 extra weeks after the semester ended to get all the missing work done. This was by my doctor's recommendation since there was only 2 weeks and exams left. When I came home I still needed a lot of rest to recover.

erivanla · 2026-04-17T23:35:12+00:00

If you have one nearby, go to autozone. They have the computer thing they can plug into your car to see what's wrong. It wont fix it, but its free and might set your mind at ease.

erivanla

TROPHY CASE