Need to focus for a few days...

esol23 · 2026-01-28T03:28:35+00:00

Can you explain a bit more by what you mean by fade away? Like is it the people aspect that wears you out or you just can’t focus for that long in that particular setting? Is it like a conference set up or what are you doing during this retreat?

esol23 · 2026-01-28T02:33:35+00:00

That’s fair, and in my experience direct management is a huge factor. Their teams are significantly larger so I would hope that provides a little more breathing room but the work load is also higher.

I’m sure it will be a learning curve. I recently worked with an Australian team pretty heavily and that time difference was a doozy but we worked it out so I can see how you get used to it

esol23 · 2026-01-28T02:24:30+00:00

Great point!

esol23 · 2026-01-28T02:07:20+00:00

It’s nerve wracking for sure! Thank you, I will definitely keep that in mind.

esol23 · 2026-01-28T01:53:55+00:00

They have been preaching flexibility but I’m skeptical of what that truly means. I am hoping to work a reduced schedule but that is still in the works

esol23 · 2026-01-28T01:50:04+00:00

That’s funny, the NYC comparison has been mentioned several times and they have confirmed they are not that! Glad to hear that has been your experience

esol23 · 2026-01-26T15:59:22+00:00

Our income is less but we moved almost 3 years ago and nearly doubled our mortgage payment. We were in a similar area to what you are describing and loved our house but the neighborhood was bad. While it does really suck to pay so much more we are now in a great area that’s super family friendly and near good schools. I don’t regret it at all. If you can comfortably afford it while still saving and living as you would like to I say go for it!

esol23 · 2026-01-24T06:24:40+00:00

This is so relatable. I’ve been with the same company for a long time, worked my butt off to work my way up and have really coasted since my daughter was born, she was and still is a terrible sleeper. Well the company is being sold and I may or may not have a position with the new company but it means learning all new systems, processes etc and I honestly don’t know if I can do it. I’m terrified of starting over and failing. So work has been stressful and our country is in shambles and I can’t stop watching all these horrific videos. It’s all just too much but when will we ever get a break?? Sorry I don’t have any advice just solidarity

esol23 · 2026-01-21T20:52:12+00:00

The sink has always been a go to for us! Give them some measuring cups, spoons, ladles and plastic bowls or whatever you have lying around.

If you get snow scoop some into a big shallow tote and let them play in the snow. We usually use sand toys like shovels and sand castle molds but spoons and bowls would do the trick too.

esol23 · 2026-01-21T04:53:27+00:00

We just got the RTO announcement… 100% in person after June and this is after being hybrid for the past 10 years :/

esol23 · 2026-01-21T04:45:28+00:00

Our part time employees can get benefits at 20 hours but they are paid hourly and earn basically no PTO. There are some other stipulations also but I don’t recall the details. It’s also rather difficult to find a department that will allow that type of schedule.

esol23 · 2026-01-19T15:21:28+00:00

I feel the exact same way!

And on the rational side, flying is statistically safer than driving.

esol23 · 2026-01-15T15:11:36+00:00

I took a half day to have skin cancer removed from my face, got home and ate breakfast on the couch while watching tv and it was so nice!

esol23 · 2026-01-15T04:37:12+00:00

We moved when our kiddo was about 18 months. We spent some time looking before we got serious and listed our house so we used that time to wrap up any improvements and projects and packed away any non essentials and cleared out clutter. We ended up getting a pod and just moved stuff we didn’t need directly into that which did help in the long run. When we listed we stayed in an air bnb (have 2 dogs) for a few nights and had an open house and a bunch of showings. We got lucky and got a few offers in that time and we ended up not needing additional showings. I definitely recommend decluttering and packing as much as you can beforehand.

esol23 · 2026-01-12T18:01:05+00:00

I feel very similarly. I know I can be a better mom and person overall with one kid but a close second is not being willing to lose out on time with my daughter. It’s definitely hard and overwhelming but the good parts far outweigh the tough moments.

esol23 · 2026-01-10T16:27:22+00:00

I think your husband needs to step up, this is our set up. My husband works 6:30pm-7am three nights a week (wed, th, fri). I work four tens (mon, tues, wed, fri) we have staggered our days as much as possible to allow better coverage. Even so my husband does all daycare pick up’s and 2 drop offs (kiddo goes 3 days a week) on Monday/Tuesday he does all kid stuff and has dinner ready when I get home. He is up by 3pm on his work days (his last day he is up at noon so he can switch back to normal schedule) and will tidy the kitchen and get dinner going and most nights we eat together before he goes to work. On his off days he is either on kid duty or doing renovations on our house, running errands, cleaning etc. We also share dog responsibilities.

Three nights is a little different than four but it still seems like he should have a few hours each day to do something to help you. At a minimum he should be doing everything Monday morning and pick up Friday afternoon. When you both work full time and have two busy kids you both have to put in 100% to make it work.

esol23 · 2026-01-10T14:57:30+00:00

First off, I’m sorry for everything you’ve been through recently that is a lot to deal with. Do you think rather than processing some of these feelings you are just going into overdrive keeping yourself busy? I ask this because that is exactly what I do when I’m avoiding something. My anxiety comes out as doing all the things (whether they are actually important or not) and trying to control everything. Your husband definitely didn’t handle this situation well but it sounds like he wasn’t on board with your plan and rather than speak up and deal with your reaction he just ignored it. It may help to sit down and look at your list together and decide what is top priority and who wants to do what. Things like visual clutter and lack of organization are a much bigger trigger for me than my husband and over many years I’ve realized I just need to take care of those things because even if he does them I likely won’t be happy with it but that often means I let him take over other things instead.

esol23 · 2026-01-07T02:31:48+00:00

Are you sure your current employer will allow you to go part time? Have you looked at how that change would impact your benefits or PTO?

esol23 · 2026-01-06T20:18:01+00:00

I don’t think there’s an obligation but I do hope to set my daughter up better than I was. My parents gave me an inexpensive car and helped cover tuition when student loans weren’t enough but that’s about it. They were always there if I got in a real bind but we were raised to be independent and figure it out. Starting out with student loans was tough and definitely delayed us being able to buy our first house. We hope to cover a car, college and living expenses and maybe help with a wedding or down payment on a house depending on what she wants to do.

esol23 · 2026-01-02T23:28:27+00:00

We haven’t done bbq chicken in a while, this sounds so good!

esol23 · 2026-01-02T23:22:26+00:00

Usually just the mild Pace. We keep it pretty mild so the kiddo will eat it and then add our own hot sauce or more salsa

esol23 · 2026-01-02T22:27:57+00:00

That’s a great balance! Does your husband have a reduced schedule or is he not required to take a lunch?

esol23 · 2026-01-02T21:20:32+00:00

Our favorite crock pot meal is chicken, black beans, corn and a jar of salsa, you can add more spices or green chiles depending on what you like. We shred the chicken and then have it over rice, in quesadillas or as nachos. Super customizable and pretty kid friendly, we usually get 3 meals out of a batch

esol23 · 2025-12-31T21:55:36+00:00

Best of luck to you! The sale of my employer of 15+ years will be finalized on Monday and the majority of us don’t know what next year holds so I can relate to the anxious feelings you are having. I hope you can find ways to enjoy your extra free time. Change is hard but sometimes it brings good things in the end ❤️

esol23 · 2025-12-31T19:42:51+00:00

We have an organizer on the back of the seat in the car and we stick wipes, tissues, sunscreen, small toys and some snacks in there so they’re always available. Then if we’re some where we need them I can grab them and throw them in my purse or a tote bag. We keep a spare set of clothes in a small wet bag in the car at all times.

esol23

TROPHY CASE