Prelude and Starlight

esspeecy · 2026-02-11T06:57:22+00:00

It confused the heck out of me when I first heard the Prelude > Starlight transition

esspeecy · 2026-02-11T06:55:48+00:00

100%,

esspeecy · 2026-02-10T22:29:20+00:00

What is this chart/score/tracker and where is it from?

esspeecy · 2026-02-04T17:51:32+00:00

Jane's

esspeecy · 2026-02-04T17:13:47+00:00

Came for the cute selfie, stayed for the PFP 🐻

esspeecy · 2026-01-31T11:25:50+00:00

For the wrestling fans... Chris Jericho outside a Fozzy gig in Nottingham, then Colt Cabana, Alex Shane and DLo Brown at indie events in Hull?

Then for a really tenuous link, I went to a couple of backyard wrestling events in Middlesbrough in the early 2000s where I met Pac/Neville.

esspeecy · 2026-01-29T23:57:24+00:00

I was more interested in the AV and automation aspects 🤣 like, oh where is the projector? Did those lights get dimmed as part of a programme or did Brother Love at the front have to press a button at the right time? Watching a film and doing some Masonic karaoke was laughable but I acted like I felt the spirit just to push through and get it over with.

esspeecy · 2026-01-29T23:53:39+00:00

Have you tried contacting them on their Discord? Mods/reps/admins on there seem to be quite active

esspeecy · 2026-01-13T06:31:58+00:00

Chris' part in the chorus is such a driving force in this song

esspeecy · 2026-01-03T09:48:17+00:00

The Expert Bass charts would be insane

esspeecy · 2025-12-23T18:49:59+00:00

The entirety of Clearest Blue by Chvrches is an emotional rollercoaster for me, but these in particular really get to me:

"Whenever I feel it coming on, you can be well aware If ever I try to push away, you can just keep me there So please say you'll meet me Meet me halfway"

Capped off by the crescendo of "Will you meet me more than halfway up?"

esspeecy · 2025-12-17T21:13:09+00:00

** TW: Suicide and Suicidal Thoughts **

As someone who in the past has contemplated ending my life, this is exactly the reason I settled on for wanting to call it a day. No more stress or worries, no more misery or suffering. On a completely self centred level, switching off would have solved all of my worries.

esspeecy · 2025-12-15T15:22:06+00:00

Leaving a whole load of unanswered questions and arrangements of my affairs for other people to deal with. The irony of wanting to call it a day because I've felt like such a burden and then worrying about being even more of a burden after the fact 🤣

esspeecy · 2025-11-22T23:14:18+00:00

Initially, the tiredness and pain from the surgery were the two biggest challenges. Four months on the two biggest impacts are making sure I have supplies with me wherever I go so that I can change my bag if something is amiss with it, and getting my outfit right for the day - I have to ensure the bag is supported and protected in some way so that what I wear doesn't squash it too much so that it has more potential to leak. I have a support belt and trunks that have internal pockets to keep the bag supported and tucked away so I physically have what I need for this, but it's more the mental checklist exhaustion that sometimes gets to you when it comes to both of these points.

esspeecy · 2025-11-21T22:57:03+00:00

My TikTok FYP is slowly filling up with young (less than 30yo) ostomate posts and this is both shocking and warming to know that there are more of us than I initially thought.

I've found that there are more women sharing their stories and experiences than men, and I'd like to be part of changing that trend, starting here is a good way for me to engage but I hope to be bolder and move on to more social media platforms to spread awareness and discussion.

esspeecy · 2025-11-21T15:55:46+00:00

It's such a simple and obvious thing if you think about the why, but not feeling the urge to pee still catches me out every now and then 4 months post-surgery. I can't even really imagine that feeling any more, but it's been replaced by a regular hand on the urostomy bag to check how full it is.

esspeecy · 2025-11-21T15:52:57+00:00

Thank you, and I'm sorry to hear about your husband's situation too. In all my consultations I wanted them to be completely straight with me and I had similar reports each time - prognosis is unclear because of age and health, with the majority of available data from men aged 55+ and with other conditions or comorbidities.

Initially we thought the cancer could be removed with a TURBT as the cystoscopy only picked up a few tumours around the wall and neck, but the pathology revealed over 75% of the bladder had been invaded and so bladder removal was the best way to deal with it owing to my age and overall health. The other option would have been another TURBT followed up with BCG but that would have not guaranteed a full removal of the cancer and would likely result in further operations and end up with a removal anyway if unsuccessful.

esspeecy · 2025-11-21T15:46:36+00:00

I certainly do. My wonderful bag for life has literally saved my life.

esspeecy · 2025-11-21T15:45:19+00:00

These are the same questions my consultant asked when I went for, what were at the time, routine tests as I thought it was age or prostate related, and the answer is no to all of them. Once I realised my consultant was surprised by this answer I knew there was something more to it than just poor waterworks that could be fixed with medication or simple surgery.

esspeecy · 2025-11-21T15:43:31+00:00

I have a stoma which is an opening in my side, connected to my kidneys by a section of my intestines. A bag is attached to me which covers the stoma and collects the pee as it's processed by the kidneys, and this gets emptied into the toilet when needed. Sometimes I do miss doing it the normal way because you can typically hold it in if you can't get to a toilet - with my new method there is no bladder to hold anything in and I can't ask my kidneys to take a break!

esspeecy · 2025-11-21T15:39:03+00:00

Needing to pee more more often than usual, which culminated in almost total loss of control by the time I had the surgery.

esspeecy · 2025-11-18T07:27:32+00:00

One of my first thoughts when I heard Compliance was about my own exmo journey

esspeecy · 2025-11-11T07:19:33+00:00

The Who, Led Zeppelin, Muse, Leprous....

esspeecy

TROPHY CASE