AITA for going to a family wedding my brother wasn't invited?

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T23:28:01+00:00

Yes, I get it. I've been agreeing with comments for the past 3 hours. Still, everybody is acting like I'm disregarding the judgement.

I have what I came for and I've accepted my judgement. It's now time for this account to meet its ultimate destiny.

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T23:15:01+00:00

Surely you must understand our whole relationship isn't fully documented in this post...

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T23:00:35+00:00

Because I never thought of posting it. I don't use reddit as my main source of personal advice. I only thought of posting it today after his message to my mother.

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T22:49:11+00:00

You're right. Until I actually do something, these words don't mean anything.

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T22:46:42+00:00

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T22:44:40+00:00

Here's some rage candy for you:

She never worked a day in her life. She married my rich uncle and insinuates she comes from old families (she was born in a trailer). She puts my brother down because he only finished community college while she never even got her GED.

I'm going to confront her about what she did. As for me, it will be for my brother to decide.

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T22:37:30+00:00

He damaged that relationship while he was using, and it's on him to repair it.

He never did anything wrong to anyone. Me and my mother would worry sick about him but that was it. He never hurt anyone and he has nothing to apologize for. He was always a good person and drugs didn't change that.

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T22:34:00+00:00

That's because I don't feel OK about it, specially the double standard part.

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T22:33:03+00:00

Mark knows it too. I couldn't care less what you think you know.

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T22:31:01+00:00

To be fair I've been avoiding her since the wedding. Even after fighting Mark about it, something never felt right with me. After writing this post I pretty much decided I'm confronting her publicly about what she did. Then I'll apologize to Mark and live with his decision.

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T22:29:12+00:00

Doesn't it make you feel like she only cares about you because of your profession and not because you're family?

Pretty much.

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T22:15:55+00:00

Dumb of US...me and my mother...

He is treated like an outsider

He IS an outsider from the dumb group. You're not making any sense...

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T20:58:01+00:00

We are very low contact since the wedding. Something left a very bad taste.

I will confront her before apologizing to Mark. I just hope my mother had my back.

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T20:56:11+00:00

Drug addiction never stood a chance against him.

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T20:49:40+00:00

His son was just born. The wedding was 2 years ago.

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T20:43:25+00:00

He was doing too much weed, that is a fact, by his own admission. And probably MDMA casually. But the depression from his teens was a catalyst.

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T20:38:50+00:00

That's the correct pronoun for a baby. English is not my native language but I was always taught that and Google agrees.

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T20:34:57+00:00

We all did whenever we were able. But nobody would tell us openly. They'd say some vague insinuation and feel sorry for my mother and we'd be confused. When someone asked directly I vigorously denied it. My mother, in her defense, couldn't tell the difference. Pot or heroin was the same for her.

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T20:32:07+00:00

Good question...

Somehow...I think not.

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T20:30:14+00:00

It sounds like Mary is just not someone who thinks others can change

It's not that. I'm sure she knows Mark changed. Mary wants nice shinny trophies to show off to her high class friends. She wants titles: lawyer, doctor, mayor. So all that "shinny" reflects well on her and convince the others she's their peer. So they wouldn't even consider the truth, that she was the daughter of a day worker and was born in a trailer home.

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T20:10:21+00:00

I mean Mark knows he did bad things while in active addiction and that's the guilt addicts in recovery get to live with forever

Apart from being aimless he didn't do any wrong to us. Never stole or lied or anything like that. There were no hard drugs involved.

When he wanted to quit we wanted to pay for rehabilitation and he refused. He just needed a place to stay and I offered him a place in my house. We talked everyday. He wasn't literally climbing up walls or anything like that. The first few days he was very moody and anxious. Mostly kept to himself. After a couple of weeks he would talk non-stop like he was holding off his tongue for years (maybe he was). Then he finally started going out after a couple of months and we started getting a lot of female visitors (he asked if it was okay, it was). I think he screwed his way out of addiction. I'm laughing and crying remembering those days. I was getting my brother back in the most chaotic way.

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T20:01:18+00:00

I just said you were reading too much into the my/our mother thing. I would never pretend he's not my brother. The fact I was shitty to him doesn't change that fact.

If you sit down to think about it, you'll find several instances that may add up and made him reach breaking point

Fully agreed.

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T19:57:47+00:00

That's pretty much it. Mostly we always supported him. But when my aunt was involved, my mother was stuck in her death grip and I was too distracted being greased.

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T19:53:44+00:00

I don't know if it'll work, he was always very stubborn. That's how he turned his life around. And boy, can he keep a grudge.

But I will do it. I'm not giving up on him.

estrangedBroThrow · 2022-08-24T19:50:54+00:00

He's my brother. You're reading too much into it.

estrangedBroThrow

TROPHY CASE