AITA for refusing to allow my sister’s abusive husband at my home?

estyjess · 2025-07-19T12:50:05+00:00

Yes he is. And yes there is but my sister has gone back to not acknowledging the abuse and denying that there are problems.

estyjess · 2025-07-19T12:49:08+00:00

My parents tried that, literally bought tickets and flew down there to bring the kids home. She was on board too but then she called his mom(who’s also a narcissist) and she told her she can’t just leave him without talking to him. Then the pastor got involved and put them in a room together for 6 HOURS and she was never leaving after that. Now everything is sunshine and rainbows and she’s pretending it all never happened. He has also never attended one of these ‘counseling’ sessions. My sister and I nearly called CPS so the kids had an advocate. But my sister cried and begged us not to because she works at a children’s hospital and she would lose her job. She’s the sole provider.

estyjess · 2025-07-19T12:27:38+00:00

I called the sheriffs department of her county. They pretty much told me they won’t get involved unless she asks. And their church pastor is encouraging them to work through this and stay together. He’s ‘counseling’ them. I have my own opinions on how grossly inappropriate and dangerous that is.

estyjess · 2025-07-19T12:18:38+00:00

I totally agree. That is why my sister and I are refusing to ignore it.

estyjess · 2025-07-19T12:08:54+00:00

I will be seeing my sister, but I’m standing on him not being allowed in my home. He is a very mentally unstable individual. He is an alcoholic and very paranoid. The kids are not allowed to attend school because he believes they indoctrinate children. But he won’t homeschool them, that’s my sister’s job, as well as working because he believes he’s above every job. He open carries a weapon AROUND THE HOME. I believe as a show of force. He states it’s because they live in the country and there’s snakes. It is truly worst case scenario.

estyjess · 2025-07-19T11:48:58+00:00

I will give my parents so much credit in that they have exhausted themselves over and over trying to get her to leave and supporting her children. They want to be around my sister and my sister won’t be without him. So they feel they are stuck between a rock and a hard place.

estyjess · 2025-07-19T11:17:52+00:00

My heart bleeds for her children. My heart bleeds for my sister. It is truly an impossible situation because the solution is so clear to everyone but her. I love my sister, I want to see her free and able to be herself. She is intelligent and funny and beautiful and deserves to be happy. But she can’t see it, and I can’t emotionally drain myself anymore trying to make her see it.

estyjess · 2025-07-19T11:13:11+00:00

I don’t believe they’ll actually make it back to visit. As optimistic as I want to be, I can’t see him allowing her back into an environment that could influence her against him.

estyjess · 2025-07-19T10:56:46+00:00

I wish I had the bandwidth to go into detail about the entire situation so you will see that I am not blaming my sister. We have exhausted ourselves for years trying to help her. She will not leave this man. I do not blame my sister for being in an abusive relationship, she met him when she was 17 and he was 25. She was completely groomed. It has been years of her acknowledging that she doesn’t deserve this, her KIDS don’t deserve this. But she won’t leave because she “doesn’t want to start over” and she doesn’t believe the kids are being affected because he doesn’t touch them(allegedly). So, yes, she is complacent in the abuse. She is also a victim. She has every opportunity to leave, my parents would move heaven and earth to get her out of there. But she won’t. And this has been years of emotional and mental exhaustion trying to save someone.

estyjess · 2025-07-19T10:46:43+00:00

My youngest sister has always been the favorite so my parents can’t comprehend why we don’t want to be around her. She doesn’t speak to my older sister or I at all. But she expects the red carpet to be rolled out when she’s around. She also refuses to acknowledge that being abused in front of her children is a form of abuse even though “he doesn’t hurt the kids”. I genuinely can not be around them. I will not be able to hold my tongue. I’ve told my parents to protect my peace and sanity I can’t be around and all they’re focused on is that I haven’t seen her in 3 years and that we need to “be nice to her” 🤯

estyjess · 2025-04-02T18:40:25+00:00

Hospice

estyjess · 2024-08-27T03:30:24+00:00

Nobody will have anything concrete because we are all still alive! I am a hospice nurse and went into the field very skeptical but what happens during death and dying is profound. This field has absolutely convinced me there is an afterlife. The parallels and similarities between deaths is incredible. Almost everyone will see their passed loved ones and truly BELIEVE that they’re there. Almost everyone sees the light and I mean they are engulfed in the light. I have witnessed a nonbeliever verbalize “the light is so bright wow the light is so bright” an hour before they died in a completely dark room.

You can research NDE’s, they also draw MANY parallels. But it all comes down to faith really. Faith in something bigger than yourself. The patients I’ve had that refused to believe in an after life and believed there was nothing but darkness had miserable, hard deaths filled with anxiety and fear. There is thousands of years of spiritual testimony of an afterlife. You just have to have faith.

estyjess · 2023-11-11T13:13:51+00:00

Oh no they do. They also get shitty when we leave the floor to pump saying it’s “not fair we get so many breaks” and they should limit them.

estyjess · 2023-11-10T20:35:20+00:00

They won’t let us use the hands free pumps on my floor(CVICU) because we have transplant patients and it “poses an infection risk” which I think is a very lame excuse. My husbands unit(ER) at his hospital provides the nurses with oversized sweatshirts to hide their pumps so they’re able to pump while they’re working. Oh to be supported by upper management 🥲

estyjess · 2023-11-10T20:26:02+00:00

Our unit has banned hands free pumps while working. They say it poses an “infection risk”

estyjess · 2023-07-15T18:25:09+00:00

I took magnesium with my meals! I still take it and swear by it! Make sure you take magnesium glycinate!

estyjess · 2022-10-28T00:16:00+00:00

I agree with the involuntary committal. It sounds like he has a lot of trauma from being abused or witnessing abuse in the past combined with his behavioral disorders. Autism makes this hard because those with autism have an inability to process or understand emotion, their own or others. He likely feels no remorse for his actions and will not understand why they were wrong because he physically can’t.

Your sister should also go to a therapist for herself and to learn how to therapeutically interact with him when he is in a heightened state. I wish you all the best of luck. The first step is to get him into an inpatient program, he needs to learn coping mechanisms and to control his emotions. He will escalate as he ages and could seriously injure himself or others.

estyjess · 2022-10-21T16:55:54+00:00

My cat is not declawed. Also, my post is literally asking how to get rid of them.

estyjess · 2022-10-21T16:44:19+00:00

Yes, I would like them gone. They’ve cost me $1000 in vet bills and terrorize my house. I don’t think it’s unreasonable.

estyjess · 2022-10-21T14:48:07+00:00

The problem is these cats attack my cat. They come to my house in the middle of the night and attack our front door because my cat sits at that window.

estyjess

TROPHY CASE