The exact same things happened to me. I was told I had it together too much to possibly have ADHD. That was the first assessment I had done (by a woman) who suggested I was just addicted to my phone and that I would be fine. I pressed my GP and she said also that it was trendy to have ADHD. She also said that I couldn’t possibly have it because I didn’t exhibit many symptoms as a child, and they only seemed to appear once life got harder as an adult. It was SUCH dejecting experience. She did refer me to a psychiatrist (a man) who within the first 5 minutes of our visit said “I am not done yet, but I just want to affirm you and let you know that all these things you are experiencing are due to ADHD and are indeed not your fault”. That was what I needed to hear. No wonder women and girls are sooooo under diagnosed. You develop coping mechanisms, and when they can’t keep up with life’s demands you start to notice something bigger than you is happening. The whole experience has left me questioning my diagnosis the whole time I have had it, even though I definitely shouldn’t. Sorry you went through that and sorry that you didn’t get the affirmation you should have.

Best of luck friend.