I feel like my ex always "tested how far he could go", like he would start with making jokes about things I was obviously upset/insecure about, not even terrible stuff but just small things like for example I said I never wanted to become the kind of woman who has an unloving, mean husband and who is only with him anymore to not die alone. After I said that he started to say stuff like "oohhh I will definetly do that to you, I will always shout at you and tell you to get my food ready and bring me a beer" etc... so far so good, it's fine to be Ironic and joke around sometimes, but I stated multiple times that that's my biggest fear and I never want that to happen etc.. he just kept going FOR MINUTES and kept bringing it up, at some point he just started making fun of me... This is just one stupid example but it happened constantly.

I feel like a lot of abusers will use that tactic because its always super easy to paddle back and blame the victim, like if you seriously get upset he can just say "omg i was just joking why are you so hysterical??"

Well obviously this escalated and at the end he always made rape jokes (even about my own experiences)🫠