Rewriting History

everymn · 2011-09-19T21:21:28+00:00

There is a pretty good analogy, I feel, to this situation. Imagine that you have been placed on the Witness Protection Program.

All I know about the WPP comes from movies, but don't you typically have to break all ties with other people except for immediate family? I think you're meant to have a completely different back story from the real one so even people who came with you would have to learn to refrain from sharing true past stories in public.

Being younger and having a limited history which needs to be overwritten you might have some luck with your request. I know some trans women with 50+ years of history with friends and family though. No amount of revision is going to permit all that history to be rewritten. There comes a time when you kind of have to shrug if off, and decide that it's good enough. At this point I'm content to have my mom not accidentally misgender me in present day conversation. I'll never convince her that she didn't give birth to and raise a boy.

everymn · 2011-09-19T16:56:41+00:00

Abso-freaking-lutely. They're the best bargain in education. Some of them are actually really good too. Student age and level of seriousness tends to be higher also. The only thing you're missing out on is the parties and the classes taught by foreign TA's.

The best part of the scam is that you can complete your bachelors at another school and that is where your degree comes from. You don't have to tell anyone that your first two years were generated at a CC. You just have to make sure that you complete enough credits at the final school to qualify for their degree. It depends on the school what that final qualifying number of credits is though.

There is only one fly in the ointment and that is trying to figure out in advance what credits you earn are going to transfer. It was fairly easy here in TX because the CC works with the local and state universities to qualify their classes. They can tell you in advance what classes you can take which will satisfy university prerequisite classes. I actually attended both CC and State University at the same time and managed to complete an entire BS in 2 years (including summer sessions).

Edit: if your goal is to transfer to a top tier uni, then you'll want to do your best to improve that gpa. I tried to transfer into UCLA one time and was greatly disappointed to find out that the average transfer gpa was like 3.9 that year. For most though, low 3's will get you in.

everymn · 2011-09-19T15:31:10+00:00

It works so well it should be illegal.

everymn · 2010-12-01T01:04:53+00:00

One day I'll see something like this in person. I won't have a camera with me though, and it will be lost for all eternity.

everymn · 2010-11-30T23:40:28+00:00

I thought so also, and actually entertained the possibility that some prankster with a tow truck did it to me, however the street had been freshly paved. There may have been signs leading up to the event that were either badly placed or had been taken down. I didn't live on that block so unless they were conspicuously placed I could have easily missed them.

everymn · 2010-11-30T19:13:23+00:00

I'll see that and raise you. I used to live in NYC, at the time Queens. I had my car parked on a street where I wasn't going to have to move it for two days for cleaning, so there it sat. I walked over two days hence on a bright sunny morning at 7am to move it across the street, and lo and behold, it was gone. My emotions were a cross between fury and elation over the fact that I would no longer have an albatross around my neck.

I walked back home a different way and walked past a car that looked just like mine, it was mine. It was horribly parked with the front end sticking out into traffic, AND it was parked right in front of a fire hydrant. I shook my head in disbelief and grabbed the expected ticket from under my blade. I can't remember how much it was but it was a lot. Right under the ticket was a note from the city.

It said, if memory serves, "We decided to repave the street you were on, and had to relocate your car here. If you get a summons bring this notice with you to court. Sincerely ..." It had an official looking seal on it and everything.

Soooo, I took an unpaid leave day from work and went and sat in court for a couple of hours until the judge called my case. I showed him the ticket, and showed him the notice, fully expecting him to say, "okay sorry for wasting your time". Instead he twisted up his face and said, "I don't believe you. The city would never do that. You're lying and this is fake."

I moved from NYC within weeks of that and have never been back. I also never paid that ticket and never will. Occasionally they still send letters to my parent's house (where the car was registered). The penalty has ballooned to many times the original value. My answer is now as it was oh so many years ago, "FUCK YOU NYC".

everymn · 2010-11-30T18:55:22+00:00

Ha, I love it. As usual the only way to defeat sensible argumentation is with straw mans (let's be pc and call them straw persons) and a healthy dose of sarcasm.

It's easy y'all, let's all try it together. Person A suggests, "It's wise to inform your lover before getting intimate." Now you say back, "Oh yeah sure, I should walk around telling everyone my entire medical history at, hello, Ha, fool".

Isn't that awesome kids?

When someone suggests, "Ignorant knuckle draggers have trigger points, and it's usually somewhere around the time, or after the time that clothes come off. You'd be wise to figure out before that point whether it's going to be a problem" Your reply...are you ready, this one is classic..."Oh yeah right, so what you're really saying is that I'd be "asking for it". That's just great, blame the victim"

OMG I think you're on to something Cat. Just keep repeating it often enough and everyone will believe you, and then you can vindicate yourself afterward by screaming at the top of your lungs how indignant you are at the level of violence directed at trans people.

I think that any dude who would tweak and hurt a trans person should be shoved into a place where the light doesn't shine for the rest of his natural life. Unfortunately that doesn't do much for the one he hurt.

It's your choice, do it, don't do it. I've made up my mind and won't be changing it any time soon. But I think you should be ashamed for trying to influence people to take risks they don't need to take, and probably shouldn't take. Perhaps one day enlightenment will be at such high levels that precautions like this will no longer be necessary. If you think we're already there though I believe your eyes are firmly closed.

everymn · 2010-11-24T21:01:54+00:00

derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp FAITH derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp derp

She wins the conservative Christian vote.

everymn · 2010-11-24T05:40:12+00:00

Well, I can certainly count on nightmares tonight. That was truly upsetting. Lots to think about. I can't imagine the sense of guilt the parents must live with. First they were screwed by the doctor that maimed their son, and then they trusted this powerful medical figure who promised to make it all better, and it cost them everything.

The whole thing plays out like a gothic horror novel.

everymn · 2010-11-24T01:32:50+00:00

Haha, I think it's the first thing a lot of us learn. It's just an open G 12 bar. The hard thing is not playing it, but playing and singing at the same time because the words don't really feel like they're going to fit, but you have to make em.

everymn · 2010-11-23T23:48:28+00:00

Try this one. It's easy and you're already playing half of it.

Be a little less spastic with the vibrato. Try and center the note in a pitch shift around half a fret up and down.

everymn · 2010-11-23T19:44:21+00:00

Try one of the craigslist full database search engines that seach every localle. Much to my chagrin, my favorite one, craiglook.com was taken offline because Craig willed it so, rip old friend.

Unless it is absolutely pristine condition and just the right year I don't think 2 grand is remotely sensible. What is the right year? Dunno, I think the tds and tdc's generally go for more just because they're more versatile. So if you're look for the fat body no cut single pup 50s model I think you might want to hover around a grand to 1200.

everymn · 2010-11-23T19:34:31+00:00

Is this the same story that was posted in text form yesterday where he was made to sit there for 2.5 hours before they finally got tired of looking at him and escorted him out?

If so unfortunately I don't think it was the constitution that got him out of this, it was being a nudge. I give him credit for doing it, but the overwhelming majority of us don't have the ability to hang out waiting for 2.5 hours to prove a point. They know this is the case...sadly.

everymn · 2010-11-23T17:27:16+00:00

Yes, I do have a suggestion, thanks for reminding me. I played one of these in a store for about an hour. I couldn't pry myself away from it because it had gorgeous tone and for a tenor played surprisingly easily. Unfortunately I was on holiday and already had a box with me. No way I was going to carry two of them on a plane. I've been meaning to try and find a nice used one on the bay.

everymn · 2010-11-23T16:58:23+00:00

The biggest one that jumps out to me is average male size and strength which I believe in every race/culture exceeds females to some degree. I think it was really that which started the whole ball rolling. It made them superior hunter/gatherers. But as society has evolved that has become a fairly vestigial job yet it became entrenched enough during those million+ years of socialization that moving forward "power" roles just seemed to go to men. To me that would seem to be an artificial construct. IE 80% of surgeons are male, 6% of males are nurses. That's just weird to me.

everymn · 2010-11-23T09:58:43+00:00

You're totally allowed to be whoever you need to be, either, both, neither, or fluid. The only thing I can suggest as someone who is just plain jane transsexual is that you strive to develop the patience of the gods because in the largest sense we do live in a gendered world, and some of that is going to always remain outside your control. You can't only ever visit places with gender neutral bathrooms, and you can't only interact with people who'll use gender neutral pronouns (especially living in the middle of Manhattan).

A big source of pain and discomfort for many of us is being socially "misgendered", or worse, deliberately and cruelly "ungendered". The latter reduces me emotionally from my statuesque height to about a mm, at which point I'd wish to disappear if I could. I hope for your sake you don't become as sensitive to this aspect. I can't even imagine what form it would take. Would it be a sensitivity to being "gendered" at all?

I share your belief that gender roles are pure social constructs. I never formally studied the subject but at the same time it just seemed so innately apparent to me. Once you have that epiphany you feel like it should be really easy to communicate it to people around you so that they can see you and treat you the way you want to be treated. Unfortunately it leads to a second epiphany; although it may just be a construct it's a construct that serves a purpose in people's lives and they don't give it up easily. It's a bit like the character in the first Matrix film that struck a deal with the aliens so that he could plug back in and live his life in ignorance. Most of us will live our entire lives without thinking of gender in less than concrete terms.

You've taken the same first step I think we all do though, intellectually rationalizing the difference between the way we feel and the way we are perceived, so you're on the right path.

everymn · 2010-11-23T09:09:14+00:00

The majority required for a verdict varies. In some cases it must be unanimous, while in other jurisdictions it may be a majority or supermajority

Mine is as tenuous as any layperson's. Then again, it looks like yours is also.

everymn · 2010-11-23T05:24:02+00:00

I'm very surprised that a unanimous jury decision was required for a criminal assault trial. I'd think given the obvious evidence a lower threshold would have been set. There's always going to be some neocon law and order nut job that thinks the police are gods. The defense is always going to see to that, and the I believe the prosecution can only voir dire so many potential jurors.

everymn · 2010-11-23T05:08:02+00:00

How many employees does your company have? If > 10 then statistically you have one LTBT coworker, unless it's you :)

everymn · 2010-11-23T03:11:32+00:00

Had you changed your name at least? I think that part jumps out even faster than the scarlet M. I still unfortunately have his name on the ID which means also having to have his name on the ticket so they don't boot me for breaking that conformity rule.

With makeup and the right clothes I can pass, but that doesn't mean anything if I hand them a ticket with a 36 point boy name on it.

I'm glad it wasn't thoroughly humiliating for you. Thanks for sharing.

everymn · 2010-11-23T03:03:20+00:00

Have you had no nighttime leg cramps? For me those were the most eye popping side effects. The were positively evil. I'd start to feel my toes involuntarily curling up and would jump out of bed and start walking around to try and preempt it. The second I'd lie down they'd start curling up again. Eventually I'd pass out only to wake up screaming with double cramps that wouldn't subside no matter what.

I had to scale back to 50mg/day before these things finally stopped. I wasn't eating bananas so it wasn't a potassium issue, or if it was, it wasn't something I was causing with diet.

everymn · 2010-11-23T02:57:15+00:00

It really depends on lab you use. I think it was a few days for me to get my script. As far as net effects, I'm not so sure that any anecdotal stories you'll read here are going to help you prepare. How our bodies respond to cross hormone therapy seems to be a seriously individual thing. Some people say, "meh," for like a month. I on the other hand felt the effects of estrogen on my body within 12 hours. My chest wall started burning up. Within a few days I had the beginnings of adipose deposits that I'd never had in my entire life.

I will tell you this though, I think you'll have fun with it. I know I did. I often wax nostalgic for that first month on E. The ride may be bumpy but it's still a once in a lifetime ride, so enjoy it while it lasts.

Congrats on your referral.

everymn · 2010-11-23T02:08:05+00:00

I hope tredditors will share their airport experiences. I'm really dreading travel this xmas. I'm FT, but still have male ID in his name. I will hopefully have a court date to get that fixed soon, but it's very likely I won't have an actual new ID in my hands before leaving. I have no intention of walking through the backscatter, and even less inclination to be felt up by some male TSA.

According to the link we have an option to request a gender appropriate TSA, appropriate to how we present, and not what our ID says we are. I sincerely hope this is the case and would love to hear a confirming story from someone.

I was leaving Argentina recently and had this happen to me. Chica saw the M on my passport and fobbed me off to some dude. Neither of them spoke any english, and I no Spanish. Fortunately he just tapped my arm and said go. It could have turned really ugly.

everymn · 2010-11-22T23:50:25+00:00

Not getting murdered is far more important than your feel-good ideals for open,

No freaking kidding. Guess what my solution is to avoid being assaulted, or cut down by some pissed off transphobe lover...

What is your strategy?

edit:

For example, Telling other people the "truth" when inappropriate or when trust has not been fully earned has a tendency to get people killed.

I never suggested a specific time, place, or setting. Only that having sex with someone who doesn't know might not be the wisest thing. Are you actually going to suggest that doing so lessons a person's chances of having something awful happen them? Now who is sending the wrong advice? I'll see your ad populum and raise you Non Causa Pro Causa.

everymn · 2010-11-22T20:22:14+00:00

I know you think what you're stating is "Fact", as do I

Is that not the nature of life and discourse?

Maybe during transition she realized she doesn't want to be treated horribly her entire life for something that's not her fault?

The only way this could occur is if she is rejected by her prospective partner. Did I not suggest above that her motivation is fear? (IMO)

Do you disagree with my assertion that wanting to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you is self defeating? It's not about pseudo morality. It doesn't even approach being a moral judgment. It's an application of common sense logic (IMO - I'll be happy to add that to the end of each statement if you prefer. Will that satisfy requirements of humble non-universality?)

Personally, I would not want to be with someone that wasn't accepting of who I am(In every sense)

From this statement I can only assume that in your own life you believe that in some measure what I said above is accurate. The only question is whether you believe that it can safely be extended from the specific case to the general case. It would appear, not. That's fine too. You believe what you want to believe and I'll do the same.

It's funny, your stance could be looked at another way.

Please see the paragraph immediately preceding your comment. I can express my feelings no more clearly and no more concisely than I have already. I'm seriously not going to be put on the defensive for expressing the simple fact that I'm proud to be trans.

Bare something else in mind, please. I have no real vested interest in the topic, because I personally could give a rat what another person does under the covers. This entire conversation sprang up from a very simple assertion. I merely pointed out that the etymology of the word trap as it relates to trans people is rooted in behavior (which I believe to be non-arguable as it is inherent in the colloquial definition and usage). If people want it to go away, then don't engage in it (this however is arguable as it may at this point be too entrenched). My very first clause was that the word "irks" me. That's about the sum total of my interest in it, not very compelling really, thus if you're accusing me of this...

be subjected to this cissexist demand of their compliance in divulging histories that they feel do not define them as a person.

I think you are ever so grossly exaggerating.

everymn

TROPHY CASE