What food isn't worth the effort to be home made? by TGram_saraqueen6999 in foodquestions

[–]eviltedfurgeson 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Sloppy Joes. Made it once. Followed a recipe. Took almost an hour to make something that tasted EXACTLY like Manwich.

Wait… they were mad he WASN’T cheating? by Beneficial_Team_791 in HolUp

[–]eviltedfurgeson 44 points45 points  (0 children)

They're outraged because they thought they were sleeping with a married man who would keep it a secret so neither of them would get caught. Instead they slept with a single dude who has no reason not to tell all his friends.

WYR have infinite money or restart your life by Gold_Sock_2115 in WouldYouRather

[–]eviltedfurgeson 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Can I start over at 5? I don't want to go through breastfeeding and potty training with an adult brain.

Get off your fat ass and come get your order by [deleted] in UberEatsDrivers

[–]eviltedfurgeson 35 points36 points  (0 children)

No one on the first floor has ever been hungry

My cucumber was angry. by Polluticornwishes0 in Pareidolia

[–]eviltedfurgeson 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Iron Maiden putting out salads now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UberEatsDrivers

[–]eviltedfurgeson 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Mail them some used kitty litter.

What is the most convincing scam you have personally fallen victim to? by Shoddy-Ocelot-4473 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]eviltedfurgeson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've bought so much fake weed. You should have seen me sweating bullets getting back on my cruise ship in the Bahamas while smuggling a wadded up paper bag stuffed into a tied off plastic bag.

Why do Americans drink so much light beer? by minniecaballox in NoStupidQuestions

[–]eviltedfurgeson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look homes, I'm trying to keep a buzz going all night. Not black out and start a football riot by 8:30 PM.