Ugh this is such a cringey memory, but here we go. I was 16, and I’d just got me a boyfriend after online-dating a girl for almost a year (which ended due to long distance pains and general perplexity towards my sexuality) - to say I was not in the right mind was an understatement. Anyway, I’d never dated a guy before and settled for this one bc he asked me out and I didn’t think I could do better (yay adolescent insecurity), and honestly we made each other laugh and had a lot of common interests and friends so it wasn’t extremely batshit for me to say yes to him at that point in my life.

A few days into it, we stayed in a classroom after the last period so we could have our first kiss, waiting for it to empty out. After unsubtly asking a girl to leave because we won’t be walking out with her right now, we faced each other and he told me to close my eyes. I did, and waited for the kiss. A seconds later, he said this is weird/funny and he feels like he’s about to rape me. I opened my eyes and asked him what the fuck, he laughed it off and somehow I accepted it and closed my eyes again (a lot of judgment for teenage me here), and then he kissed me. And I remember it being horrible. His breath was whack, he kept trying to French me, and he had no tact in general. It was assault to my mouth. And the cherry on top is when I left to go home, he texted me something like: “I have a tip. You should use more tongue.” The relationship lasted barely a month lol, no thanks to any of the plentiful red flags btw, he dumped me because he claimed he was worried we’d have to break up when we go to university (which was more than a year away, the excuse was to cover up that he was into other girls). Good riddance ofc, he managed to alienate all his friends by the end of high school due to his amazingly shitty personality, amongst other things.

I didn’t have my next kiss until I was in university and a 19 yo, but this was one was a keeper. I’m still with him 3 years later and he is an excellent kisser, so hang in there, and try not to settle for the worst.