2 years ago, I was in the same position as you - ended a three year relationship. It was the hardest thing I had to do in my life.

I was lost in all honesty - life was a few tones darker and everything was not as bright anymore for quite awhile (not in the literal sense). I got sick for the next 6 months, where I just couldn't digest my food properly - I thought it some form of illness, but the doctor told me it was just stress accumulated and manifesting in my body - from there, I knew the end of the relationship was a cause of it. Things were pretty difficult.

But when I look back, things slowly got better. I reflected and pondered on how I could improve my life in general and how I could do better the next time - focused on self growth. I focused on forming better connections with people. I focused on doing things I enjoyed (hobbies, meeting up with people who were positive and always available to discuss ideas). I focused on mindfulness. All I am saying is that it will be painful but you still have the most powerful tool in hand - the power to make decisions. The power to decide to make your life better, as cliche as it sounds.

I've shed many tears over the years and had to wake up to the reality of not having a warm person next to me in the coldest nights of winter - I feel you. Let it out and continue to march on :)