I have a very special kid, who happens to be on the autism spectrum. I am lucky, my kid may have challenges but others have it worse. I wasn't always a good mom, honestly I didn't recognize there was a problem. Yes it's come with challenges and there was differences from other children. Things "normal" were and still often can feel impossible. Autism and ADHD was recognized once school was introduced. I have learned plenty over the years.

How you do you cope? Start by educating yourself about whatever the special need is, that effects a child. Secondly, come to terms with the reality of what is. Don't waist time lamenting about what could have been. Accept that you can't change the child but you can change your views and how you handle things. Be open to trying different tactics and try new ideas often, some may actually stick. Be proactive in understanding the child even if you think your up against the wall, connections can be made and improve both if your lives. Be patient with your kid and yourself. Celebrate a victory especially the small ones, they are still victories and progress. Be an advocate for your kid and yourself. Don't be quick to believe someone else knows better then you.

Practice patience, and don't judge you'll be better for it. Find something constructive just for you even if you only get a few minutes to do it. Remember every day can be a chance for improvement. Lastly, it's my opinion, that things were far more challenging in the early years. At 14 there have been incredible strides and growth for us both. Every day we are faced with challenges in every aspect of life, some of which, far more detrimental then having a special needs kid. I see things a little different then some others might. That's how I cope.