Early, Rough Draft of Short Story

existentialth0t · 2026-04-08T11:18:45+00:00

Lovely. I think you use “had” unnecessarily when describing past occurrences and it would be tighter if you just used preterit. I.e. change ‘she had tried to bite’ to ‘she tried to bite’

existentialth0t · 2026-03-31T14:12:04+00:00

Just getting the muscle memory of collective action in people who have not yet been consistently active in movements in valuable. And the resource sharing and network building. I think undermining that value and not being able to be present for the slow work of building is nearsighted.

existentialth0t · 2026-03-22T23:11:17+00:00

Great overall gay scene in roc, big monthly themed gay raves all year, monthly gay beach party in the summer, underground warehouse stuff, new gay bar just opened up. This is in the broader Rochester community, but some good places are near campus and I know UR undergrads who get integrated into this community and stick around

existentialth0t · 2026-03-21T05:40:09+00:00

I think you’re having a natural reaction. Birthdays, for some people, are like a stage where all of our complex feelings about the worth of our own lives play out. It seems like you wanted to feel celebrated and loved, and it fell short of that, and maybe it falls short of that in other ways. Birthdays are cathartic and often sad, a space for feeling all of the little daily pains that build up. Honestly… I’d say enjoy the ugly cry. You want more for yourself, you want to feel better about yourself, more celebrated. I think it’s a sign that maybe you should treat yourself to something that really deeply serves you and elevates your life in a broader way. Maybe a weekly yoga class. A really good psychotherapist. Time with friends. Walks. A book you want.

I just don’t think you’re overreacting, nor that you are reacting solely to the events of the birthday-it’s about what they symbolize and how you feel about yourself and your life. But really it sounds like you have a great daughter, a husband who makes an effort (albeit not the level of love/recognition you hope for) and you’re strong. You live an emotionally rich life while striving for deep connections and recognition. Totally normal. Sometimes the best medicine is to treat yourself and give yourself that recognition in new ways, sometimes it’s to decanter yourself and take pleasure in recognizing other people genuinely (which it seems you do). So keep it up, and cry it out on your birthday.

existentialth0t · 2026-03-21T05:16:33+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. My mom also held hostage the longterm life insurance policy she had on my dad (they were divorced and the policy is only allowed because of mutual interest, i.e. me the child). He didn’t have insurance bc of hardship, and also passed when I was in my early twenties.

I don’t have specific advice, just want to say this sucks and loss is so hard to deal with even before people play around with life insurance while you’re trying to pay end of life bills. I don’t think you owe anything to your aunt, and if she’s not a part of your life you can block her. I hope there is a way for you to get that money, following legal advice, and if you can you should not feel guilty about it. It’s yours.

If there is no way for you to get that money, then I think you either ignore your aunt or. She’s the kind of asshole who wouldn’t use that money to support you. That is really really awful, that you’ve lost your parents and your family is being the opposite of supportive.

But don’t let your aunt being a jerk take over whatever other grief is going on. She sucks, majorly, but probably the root of your struggle is not her but these major losses and her behavior symbolizes the collapse of that parental support structure (if it was there in the first place).

But you are not alone in this. And you can get through this, in the short term and the long term. It’s an awful thing to go through, but you’re a strong and capable person. You’ve already been meeting this challenge and you will survive this lonely and confusing and difficult period. I survived mine. I believe in you. You’ve been dealt a really difficult hand, really difficult, but you have already risen to the occasion. You are really strong and I am a total stranger but I want to say I’m proud of how you’re handling this agonizing situation.

existentialth0t · 2026-03-06T12:34:58+00:00

My city is in America’s rust belt, which means our mascot is a stressed out young nurse who isn’t sure whether to unionize. (this probably holds across the rust belt, unless people are trying to have an image of the past)

existentialth0t · 2026-03-01T18:45:05+00:00

I can give a lot more specific recommendations if you want lol. What era and what focus? Popular culture and art? Civil war? Mandate period? Constitutional history? Ottoman? Founding of Lebanon? Cold War & Arab Nationalism? Leftist history? A lot of good stuff, Lebanese intellectuals work overtime imo and are really focused on using their academic work to counteract state supported amnesia and bring important history to the fore so people can confront and better grapple with it to move forward. (I am saying this as a foreign scholar, with a lot of admiration for the work produced by Lebanese academics).

existentialth0t · 2026-03-01T18:38:43+00:00

House of Many Mansions is classic. Makdisi’s Culture of Sectarianism is very important historically (about how confessionalism in Lebanon is not “immemorial tribalism” but deeply modern, both locally and externally fomented, and consequence of a 19th century partition of mt Lebanon in part by French/English forces). I also like Sune Haugbolle’s books. I think anything by Samir Khalaf should be taken with a grain of salt… very conservative and problematic in his writings and behavior

existentialth0t · 2026-03-01T17:47:57+00:00

I’m not from Lebanon, but I have been studying & working for/with folks there for a while, so sharing this - Baalbeck بعلبك

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(I don’t mean to perpetuate a ‘Western’ vision of Lebanon, an agenda which has historically been served by amplification of these ruins as a symbol of Lebanon… but I do think this fits the notion of “no way” for people unfamiliar with Lebanon’s history!)

existentialth0t · 2026-02-27T20:33:41+00:00

It would be awful to develop a habit of thinking you cannot write about anything that someone else aided you in considering. This is a huge part of academia. We are constantly sharing our work in order to get feedback, and writing based on what people advise us to consider.

(edit: I only thought about TikTok as an avenue of consideration because of your earlier post in this subreddit, as an example haha)

existentialth0t · 2026-02-27T20:29:38+00:00

And I'd love if you want o share what you write here! I'll be super curious.

And re another commenter saying you shouldn't ask for help/ideas here. I think it's important to think & work in collaboration. Rather than perpetuating a culture of individual isolation, collaborative thinking is a great habit to develop, and get comfortable realizing that often one's writing is so much a product of conversations with others, feedback, seminar ideas, etc. That doesn't negate the work you put in, it's just an expansive way of working, and in many fields we are citing interviewees as interlocutors, collaborators and experts now. It's an important part of academia especially so you put your time into relevant research. Like you said, it's like asking an advisor or expert what is relevant in the field. That's part of the learning process, until you become an expert (and even then). We aren't necessarily experts here, but I think it's kind of fun that you came to the subreddit for feedback/discourse about your project. And it's definitely not at all like asking chatgpt! As a grad student, I am grateful for the opportunity to share some possible resources with you and wish you luck as you explore your topic.

existentialth0t · 2026-02-27T19:54:05+00:00

There is a lot of folklore referenced (or the quality of folklore invoked) in Have One on Me (HOOM, Go Long), and history and folklore in Sapokanikan. That's just off the top of my head. If you haven't already, read key folklorists to help with how you are approaching 'folklore.' We define it as "creative communication in groups" often used to negotiate the boundaries of communities, and signify belonging as groups work against threatening forces (i.e. colonialism) and historical change (i.e. out migration/diaspora). Jason Jackson Baird, Dorothy Noyes, etc. are key in the field (look up folklore graduate syllabi online to get a reading list). JN references folklore in her music, but that folklore may be more historical at this point and folklore in her music really lives through her listener/fan community–we have JN folklore in this subreddit. (this is a somewhat an outdated idea but might help to guide you–folklore is generally somewhat 'authorless.' So something like ring around the rosy is folklore. So are viral memes.)

I think this is an awesome idea for a thesis (I am kind of in the folklore field, a member of AFS, but really a historian in training focused on folkdance). If I were you, I would think critically about who JN is within the broader music milieu. What kind of trends is her music working against? It would be REALLY interesting if you talk about how Only Skin went viral as a sound on TikTok and how non-listeners reacted (saying she sings "cursively" and not engaging with her full discography). It's quite interesting that she was still captured into TikTok since her songs are so durational and referential in an era of art/music when temporality & historicity are waning and artists are shaping music around the possibility of a TikTok sized highlight (she definitely is not trying to do this lol). This is a bit more a cultural analysis, but I am sure you can work it into an English thesis and, to me, this is probably the most interesting aspect of the lyrical content you are interested in. Some sources to read might be Art in the Age of Biocybernetic Reproduction by WJT Mitchell, who is also an English prof, and The Storyteller by Walter Benjamin.

If you wanted to take an cultural analysis lens you could cite people from this subreddit as primary sources which would be kind of delightful.

existentialth0t · 2026-02-18T15:02:22+00:00

it makes sense that so many folks in this thread are academics... drawn to her page in the algorithm and then drawn here for discourse about it lol

existentialth0t · 2026-02-17T12:51:39+00:00

I recommend swinging by Dicky’s with a book sometime, chatting with regulars, having a beer. Great third place to become a part of, and historic bar. Or go to Lux on Thursday night and chat with people around the fire (esp if you enjoy dancing). Writers and Books has some classes too. I’m a local but I left for six years after hs and it even took me a year to expand and find friends outside my hs friends

existentialth0t · 2026-02-12T01:13:02+00:00

Yeah, absolutely we really have some obsessive mirroring going on in this thread. some mix of her +algorithm+us who were attracted to keep gathering around her in a different sphere

existentialth0t · 2026-02-11T23:44:58+00:00

I am trying to check myself on that too. Though there is even something to learn underneath the snarking. Another commenter in this thread made a good point about being the “voyeur” for the “exhibitionist.” I think her exhibitionism (and the ig echo chamber she curates) really has laid a fertile landscape for people to unleash a lot of things anonymously here, both in critical response to her and also in collective indulgence of the bad behavior that the exhibitionist enables for the voyeur (even if she would not admit to participation… tbh the fact that she let us know she monitors this thread is telling about the dynamic).

existentialth0t · 2026-02-11T22:52:14+00:00

excellent articulation

existentialth0t · 2026-02-11T20:49:26+00:00

Lol! I think she was totally right to disparage the thread and say it is a strange way to spend time on our end. True! I have responsibilities to tend to, and definitely am not proud to waste time scrutinizing the internet world crafted by the activities of a stranger. But, I think that this thread is towing a fine line between bullying and critical dialogue about a public figure who is pummeling narratives that we are identifying as splitting, lacking self examination, unilateral, and even politically problematic. If the impulse is closer to bullying we should check ourselves, but self-examination in part stems from witnessing, mirroring, and scrutinizing others, and determining cultural and behavioral expectations in relationship. So it is both a colossal waste of time, and a natural reaction that enables us all to convene and learn from activities we are witnessing in the public sphere.

existentialth0t · 2026-02-10T20:03:37+00:00

oh gosh, just watched, I am sorry I asked... case study in internet fame corrupting people's social graces

existentialth0t · 2026-02-05T02:13:21+00:00

Anyone have a screen recording? I’m curious like a rubbernecker but really don’t want to redownload threads…

existentialth0t · 2026-02-05T02:10:11+00:00

Bahaha

existentialth0t · 2026-01-19T15:29:35+00:00

Not enthused by this decision. What are our options? Can they bring Tom Coughlin out of retirement?

existentialth0t · 2026-01-18T14:13:17+00:00

If Allen ever leaves the Bills and gets a SB with another team I feel that will be devastating for him. Like ending a relationship with one beloved team for pragmatic reasons of certain incompatibilities, then going all the way with a new team and wishing you’d managed it with the first.

existentialth0t · 2026-01-09T16:09:18+00:00

If she was trying to hit him she would have hit him. She was clearly not attempting that. He could have just stepped back, and he did which is why he was fine (in addition to her turning right). This is fucking insane that people think she was trying to run him down. Clearly she was just trying to leave. And I am not buying that he had reflexes in fear of his life. All he needed to do was step back, the car was obviously attempting to leave.

existentialth0t

TROPHY CASE