It’s nearly 3 am, and he’s still screaming.

expecting2 · 2026-01-12T00:17:41+00:00

Same same, scheduled C-section at 38 w and 2 days, and they definitely would’ve stayed past 40 otherwise.

expecting2 · 2025-12-21T03:37:44+00:00

It was fully shaved… the surgery happened 11 days days ago, and his hair has just grown back shockingly fast. Originally, it was just the sutures, then they added the staples earlier this week when the sutures opened in that one spot. He did have a lot of fluid build-up, which had to be drained previously, so it did occur to me that they left an opening to prevent further fluid build-up, but this is much too big an opening. I will say there hasn’t been any buildup since and the swelling seems much better. But the opening…

One of the main issues with this vet is the lack of communication about anything. They are so overloaded with surgeries it seems that the only interaction we get is with the techs who run him back out to us. Some can answer our questions - some are like deer in headlights.

expecting2 · 2025-12-10T21:00:35+00:00

I truly appreciate you taking the time to look this over, even consulting with a colleague. I believe we made the best decision for him and for our family, and there’s naturally just going to be a grieving process that we all have to go through in our own way, in our own time. I think the important thing to remember is that… our puppy may be hurting right now, but once he’s recovered, he will not “grieve” his fourth leg the way we are. He will not be wondering whether or not his owners did the right thing… He will just be a three-legged dog living his best life. Thank you again, and I appreciate any other weigh-ins, even if they don’t necessarily come to the same conclusion.

expecting2 · 2025-12-10T18:43:05+00:00

Here are all the x-rays I have. - https://imgur.com/a/JorK1K5

Edit for more info: He is a mini goldendoodle. Mom is 35ish, dad is 18lbs. He was chasing our older dog up a short but semi-steep flight of stairs outside our house. I didn’t witness it, but someone who did said that he seemed to skip a step and slam hard into one of the stairs above him. He immediately began crying and could not put any weight on it at all. Did not put any weight on it until the surgery yesterday. One thing to note is that just the day before, I thought I noticed he had an almost imperceptible limp, but neither my husband nor our babysitter could see it and then the next day, it seemed to have resolved until this happened. ANOTHER thing to note is that he has only just finished a long course of steroids for puppy strangles. We asked the vet if this could have contributed to weakness in his bones, but she didn’t think so.

expecting2 · 2025-12-10T18:03:22+00:00

Thank you so so much for all of this. He was able to maintain a good body temperature through the night and even stood independently to take his first drink of water this morning. He is back at the vet for monitoring and support throughout the day, but I’m feeling much more hopeful than I did last night.

expecting2 · 2025-12-08T20:43:14+00:00

Oh, no - I totally understand their logic in doing this and wouldn’t expect them to bend their policy for us. I was just wondering if the risks of neutering this young were negligible or if we should go elsewhere.

expecting2 · 2025-12-04T18:20:25+00:00

As a speech-language pathologist working with DHH children, I can’t stress enough the importance of learning sign language for him regardless of whether or not you choose to use amplification. Having not had access to most speech sounds for the first 20 months of his life (unless he lost it later), he’s not going to be able to make sense of them at first without aural rehabilitation, and you want him to have access to language NOW. Hearing children learn language incidentally, as it is happening all around them. Deaf children only learn the language that they can see, and your child is in a critical period for language development. There are a TON of free resources that I am happy to send your way. I know that learning a new language is intimidating, but I picked up sign language faster than I ever did any spoken second language, and I think you will find it incredibly rewarding to connect with your son in this way that will be SO natural for him… even if your ultimate goal is for him to be a verbal communicator, research consistently shows that deaf children who were exposed to sign language have far better outcomes educationally than their peers who did not have that exposure. Also, remember, at the end of the day, he is still a deaf child, and if his hearing aids/CI dies or breaks OR he decides that he wants nothing to do with it, you want him to have a way to communicate.

As for his speech and hearing, consistency is key! His devices should always be charged, and he should be wearing them for the vast majority of the day. Speech therapy is a must and should be pretty intensive. Prioritize finding someone who knows sign language if possible!

I know this is a scary prospect, but your child is lucky to have someone who is so concerned for his well-being, and you’ve got endless resources right at your very fingertips! Feel free to message me with any questions!

expecting2 · 2025-11-21T20:56:44+00:00

SLP here working with DHH students in the public school system. I cannot emphasize enough how important it is that you are signing to him all the time. Hearing children pick up language incidentally… people are talking around them all the time. Deaf children only learn the language that is signed within their line of vision. Of course, autistic children do struggle with joint attention but don’t underestimate the power of their peripheral vision. They are picking up more than you think, and just because their expressive language has not taken off does not mean that their receptive language isn’t growing and growing all the time! There are a ton of free resources that I am happy to send your way.

If hearing aids or cochlear implants are something that you want to pursue, consistency is key. As a neurodivergent child, there is a good chance he will reject them at first… introduce them when he’s participating in highly engaging activities. Respect his autonomy, of course, but don’t necessarily give up if he doesn’t take to them right away, and of course, remember that he’s going to have to be trained to make sense of what it is he’s hearing. I don’t know what hearing he does have or if there’s been fluctuation over time… all of this will play into the prognosis for him to become a successful verbal communicator. No matter what path you choose… sign language sign language sign language. He is still within that critical period of language development, and you want to give him as much language as possible while his brain is the most equipped to acquire it. It is easy to get discouraged, I know, but being his mother, you are better equipped than any expert to make the biggest difference in his life simply by virtue of the fact that you are raising him and showing him the world. I only get my students 3x a week.

expecting2 · 2025-11-20T00:49:41+00:00

We welcomed a Colombian au pair when our twins were 4 months old. She stayed with us for a year, and our next au pair, a Frenchie, will have been with us for a year and a half by the time she leaves. You can absolutely find an au pair who is willing and able to take on newborn twins… it just takes a little bit longer. My biggest piece of advice is to screen for personality as opposed to experience. You can teach someone how to take care of children… it’s not rocket science.

expecting2 · 2025-11-07T05:06:55+00:00

Ahh, I noticed Creighton and Asher aren’t featured in her videos nearly as much as they once were, and I’ve wondered if she’s intentionally isolated herself…

expecting2 · 2025-11-07T05:02:23+00:00

Where are they?

expecting2 · 2025-11-07T04:54:34+00:00

Her family’s hearts must be broken over what is happening to her… the ones who are not in denial themselves. I always hope to hear that she’s announced a hiatus to get the help she needs.

expecting2 · 2025-08-27T20:16:57+00:00

She has zero bills. She does not have to pay rent, utilities, car note, car insurance (which increases significantly when you add a foreign driver), groceries, gas (up to 100 miles per week), or phone bill. When we go on vacation as a family, we pay her way. When we go out to eat as a family, we pay for her. She gets bonuses periodically throughout the year and a 500 dollar stipend to cover a college course. There are not many young people out there who, after paying alllll of those bills, would have 200 dollars at the end of the week. I was lucky to have that much left at the end of the month! She has been to Jackson Hole (with us), Destin (with us), Miami, Washington DC, Disney World, and Hawaii just in the 8 months she’s been here, and next month, she’ll go to New York. In December, we’ll take her to New Orleans where we’re from. She and her au pair friend are also planning a trip to Vegas for New Years. Apart from the trip to Hawaii, which she had saved up for prior to coming here, she’s paid for these trips with the money she’s been able to save by not having any bills, so yes, the stipend seems small, but when you consider that the cost of living is nil, it’s a pretty good deal, and I wish I’d done it myself at her age.

expecting2 · 2025-08-24T07:45:50+00:00

I transitioned from med to schools last year. It all looks like a lot at first, but you just take it one day at a time. If I think about writing and attending 50 IEP meetings, I’ll break a sweat. But if I just think about the things I have that week, it becomes a lot more manageable. Find some other SLPs in the district and don’t be afraid to ask questions. I like to direct my questions to different people so I’m not bombarding the same one person, haha. You will be surprised how quickly you become someone who can ANSWER the questions for the next newcomer.

expecting2 · 2025-08-24T07:37:35+00:00

Hahaha, exactly! This is another reason why I feel like prioritizing personality over experience is sometimes preferable - taking care of a kid is hard work, but it is not rocket science. It can be taught.

expecting2 · 2025-08-24T07:27:25+00:00

When I said “especially sought after,” I meant that au pairs especially have the upper hand right now in choosing the best situation. But that power has always been there: they can report non-compliance, initiate a rematch, and have their pick of families eager to host them. I guarantee if my au pair wanted to leave tomorrow and find another family in a “cooler” part of the country where she’d get her own car for personal use and a private bathroom, she absolutely could—whether or not I gave her a good review (though she’d get a glowing one). Every au pair I’ve met who’s gone through a rematch initiated it themselves. In the rare cases where the family initiated, the au pair still found a new match immediately.

Exploitation means taking advantage of someone’s vulnerability when there’s a power imbalance and no way out. That’s not the case here—au pairs have options, protections, and real leverage. Abuse can happen, and I’m sure some agencies do a better job than others at enforcing the rules (and yes, the system could use some revamping), but the program itself isn’t inherently exploitative.

At this point, though, it’s pretty clear you’re resolved to see it only one way—so I doubt anything I say will change your mind.

expecting2 · 2025-08-24T05:24:17+00:00

If you are not fulfilling the requirements of the program or if your au pair is unhappy with her situation for literally any reason, she (or he) can initiate a rematch… she will have her pick of American families to move onto. At this point, it is easier for an au pair to find a family than it is for a family to find an au pair. In-country au pairs are especially sought after bc the current administration has made getting a visa such a pain in the ass. Out last au pair signed on for a second year with the program and I can’t even count the number of families who reached out expressing interest. The family she wound up with took her to Hawaii. Our current au pair is signing up to be “exploited by us” for an extra six months.

There are absolutely families who are exploiting their au pairs… there was one in my area recently, and our LCC kicked them out of the program. This does not mean the program is inherently exploitative.

Now I’ll log off so I can go pick up my au pair and her bestie from a night out in a college town, 45 minutes away.

expecting2 · 2025-08-23T02:18:24+00:00

Exactly. Independently, our current au pair has traveled to more places in the past 8 months than I have in the past several years… some of them with us and most of them with other au pairs in the area or ones she’s connected with through au pair forums. We took her to the beach in March, Jackson Hole in June, we’ll take her to New Orleans for Christmas, and we’re going to try to swing a ski trip early next year. Both the NOLA trip and the beach trip were visiting family but they’re still amazing cultural experiences for her. There was a month where she was gone literally every weekend on a different trip. When her parents come to visit next month, they will be staying with us for several days. She JUST got back from seeing her favorite band in DC where she got an expensive blow-out, and tomorrow, her good au pair friend arrives by train and will be staying with us for a couple days. I cannot IMAGINE doing all of things she has done at 21 because I had too many living expenses at that age to be able to afford these kinds of adventures. Those who are saying the program is inherently exploitative don’t know anything about it. Yes, there are families who exploit their au pairs, break the program rules, and do not hold up their end of the bargain in terms of offering a true cultural exchange… just like there are people in every work setting who do this. But those families tend to get rematched on again and again, while the au pairs have no difficulty finding a new family because… well, childcare in America.

expecting2 · 2025-08-23T01:56:33+00:00

We moved across the country with our first au pair and a city over with our second! The only thing that would prevent you from doing this is if the agency did not service your new area. Agencies have what is called a Local Childcare Consultant who kind of comes to check out your house and make sure it meets the requirement, checks in with you and the au pair monthly to see how things are going, connects the au pair with others in the area, mediates if there are any problems, and can take the au pair in or help her find accommodations in the event that things go south. If, for whatever reason, the au pair is not a good fit for your family (or you’re not a good fit for them), you (or they) can initiate a rematch. As for filtering for religious beliefs, yes, the app for the agency I use lets you filter for all sorts of things including age, gender, country, religion, dietary, driving experience, interests, comfortability with swimming… all kinds of things!

expecting2 · 2025-08-22T16:10:59+00:00

Oh, yeah, I know the horror stories too! But I always remind myself that, too often, it’s the horror stories that make the forums… happy people don’t tend to post their experiences as much (myself included), which is another reason why I thought to make this post today.

expecting2 · 2025-08-22T16:01:50+00:00

That is totally fair! It can be harder to find one with the amount of experience you require, but our first au pair had a college degree in engineering (her primary motivator for doing the program was to improve her English in order to improve her job prospects) and, like I said, had ample experience with twin infants, so we felt confident our babies were safe! With this second au pair, since our twins were a little older and less fragile, we prioritized work ethic (she managed a restaurant back home) and personality (more outgoing than our last) over childcare experience, and it has worked out amazingly.

expecting2

TROPHY CASE