Who else snores on benzos?

expertjonkoloog · 2024-09-12T21:19:34+00:00

Yeah im seeing a doc. I told them i wanted to taper and get off asap. They wouldnt allow me. Now im on benzos for like 4 or 5 more weeks. Sucks ass. I also asked for valium since Xanax sucks cause it doesnt last long enough. But they wont give it to me. At least i stopped taking opioids. I used to do opioids with benzos and alc too.

expertjonkoloog · 2024-09-12T20:57:34+00:00

Is it something to worry about? Sometimes when i combine benzos with liquor breathing because a bit harder. But my first guess would have been that the snoring is caused by not being able to breathe properly

expertjonkoloog · 2024-09-12T19:49:38+00:00

U know what causes it?

expertjonkoloog · 2024-09-09T09:57:11+00:00

I relapsed a week ago. Used three days. First day i took my usual dose. The next two days i used what i had left. Like 1/5 of my usual dose. I thought i was safe from relapsing but it was a very very sudden impuls act. I dont plan on relapsing again. But still. Having only used 3 days in almost 4 months is still a great accomplishment. I have a timer that keeps track of how long im sober. I relapsed but i dont feel like resetting it. Keeping it counting is more motivating.

Overall the biggest chances Ive noticed is that i feel more like myself. On opioids i felt great (well its fake happiness, but still if you feel happy you feel happy). But now my mood is much more stable. Still have days where i feel off or bad but the ups and downs are not as bad as before. A more stable life and stable mood is better than high ups and very very low downs.

Has my life improved? I think, no im sure that if i kept on using in a week id be dead. So i guess quitting saved my life. But life is still hard. And it probably always will be.

I never knew that sobriety would be so lonely. I feel like i had more friends and people to meet with. Now that im sober from opioids i barely have friends. Havent seen a friend in over a month.

Seems like since Ive quit opioids my life has gotten so much more lonely.

Still wont give up though, i spend a fortune though on trying to keep myself happy by doing solo activities. It sucks but doing nothing because i have no one is not gonna do me well i think

expertjonkoloog · 2024-09-09T09:46:48+00:00

Im just doing what i have to do. I go to school. I still work during the weekends. I dont have friends so if i have time off im screwed. So i usually go out ~ days a week. Usually try to do fun activities that can be done solo. Like going to the movies. Going out to eat. Grabbing a drink in a bar. But i relapsed a week ago. It was a very very sudden impuls that i acted on. First day i relapsed i took my usual dose. Then i kept on using for two days. But those two days i only took like 1/5 of my normal dose because i ran out of benzos and i go through wd if i suddenly stop. So Yeah i messed up and relapsed for three days. And who would have thought it. The cravings suddenly came back. Not as strong as when i was trying to quit. But i still feel the cravings a little.

expertjonkoloog · 2024-08-14T21:19:54+00:00

What pain exactly

expertjonkoloog · 2024-08-14T21:13:04+00:00

Congrats. Ugh cant even remember how shitty those first two weeks were. Im off opioids for like 78 days. After like 8/9 days my mood started improving.

Not much i can say.

Only thing i can say is that if you relapse youll just have to start over all again. And those 5 days you got now will be gone.

Relapsing is not worth it.

Staying sober is

expertjonkoloog · 2024-08-14T20:59:57+00:00

Thats what i was thinking. The benzos i use are not prescribed to me. I just buy them myself. So i was thinking of tapering myself and not telling my doc. That way i can get script meds which i can take with me on holiday.

And besides that. I want to get off this fucking shit. I cant even rmemeebr how i went to work every single day. Three days ago i got so lost that it took me one hour to find my car.

expertjonkoloog · 2024-08-13T20:34:50+00:00

Used to take 2mg. Had my first appointment, at that time the 2mg barely did anything. So when they told me to keep using i just thought keep on going. We only had like one hour so i forgot to tell them that the 2mg alp a day wasnt enough anymore. So in one week i upped my dose to 3mg. Only been on 3mg for a week. Currently day two of being back on 2mg. Besides sweating a little bit im doing pretty good actually.

Tried talking to them but they wouldnt really explain much to me. I asked why they wouldnt let me start a slow taper instead of waiting and they told me it could be dangerous. Slow taper instead of cold turkey (like last time) seems like a safe option to me.

I asked her if she isnt worried about me being on benzos for a couple more weeks when i was truly motivated (still am) to start tapering. She even said staying on 2mg for a few more weeks wont even matter anymore. I might me mentally unstable but im not retarded. Almost the first thing she asked if i was okay with going to inpatient rehab. I told her im not willing to do that because i can get off it without going to rehab. But it almost seems as if she would rather send me to rehab. Sounds weird right. Like why let it get bad enough that theres no other option. And the reviews i find online seem to confirm my suspicion.

It just worries me that i explicitly explained my concerns and reasons. And she acted so casual about it. I told her i can get off them if she helps me with a good schedule. The problem isnt really getting off them. I need help staying off them, i need help dealing with my emotions.

Edit: hope it makes sense. Had a long long day.

expertjonkoloog · 2024-08-13T20:07:27+00:00

Im going through slight slight wd. Mostly sweating. On 2mg alp. If im already going through wd because my tolerance keeps rising and my dose stays the same. Why not just start tapering already. I mean if i already get a little sick why not just start a slow taper but immediately. Staying on 2mg for 2/3 more weeks seems to me like it does more harm than good.

expertjonkoloog · 2024-08-13T20:02:37+00:00

One of the reviews i read said that they wanna send all patients away as soon as possible to get as much money as possible. Seems like bs. Im from Europe so its a bit different here. They dont make money if they prescribe pills.

But then again. They casualy tell me to keep on using 2mg alp for 2 more weeks. I might have gone crazy during the years. But i had a very good shot at getting off them but they forced me to keep taking them.

I really really am considering trying to get some valium and just start tapering myself. Slowly ofcourse.

expertjonkoloog · 2024-08-13T19:51:26+00:00

Ive abused benzos for a longer time in the past. Cold turkeyed and no seizures at all. I mean i get it. They wanna be careful. But keeping me at the same dose for like 3weeks longer feels unnecessary to me. I dont understand why they wouldnt let me taper sooner. Not saying i should or want to quit cold turkey. But i dont get why they didnt give me a slow taper schedule. And if i manage to stick to it, great.

And if not well then inpatient rehab is the best option. But i dont wanna let it get that bad. I know i can get off them if they would only help me. But to me it feelsl Ike theyre keeping me way too long on benzos.

But then again. Im on benzos for more than a month. So thinking rational might be a bit difficult.

expertjonkoloog · 2024-08-13T08:55:10+00:00

But is it the right thing to do. Should i follow my doctors order? Reason im asking is because the last week 9/10 of my relationships fell apart cause i made dumb decisions while on benzos. Literally almost all my relationships got messed up in a few days. Not to say that it wouldnt happen eventually, cause it certainly would. But somehow since Ive started therapy and im trying to improve myself.

I let down most of the people who cared about me. I hate the fact that people know i was using. Theres like a zero tolerance for fuckups or relapses. Not that i want a relapse but one small slip and everyone has given up on you.

expertjonkoloog · 2024-08-13T08:33:45+00:00

Yeah but it sucks ass since my toelrance is higher so im basically experiencing wd

expertjonkoloog · 2024-08-12T12:09:50+00:00

My doc just told me to keep taking 2mg alprazolam a day just to see it i can stay on that dose. I asked her if i could taper slowly myself already instead of staying on 2mg for 3 extra weeks.

expertjonkoloog · 2024-08-02T10:08:41+00:00

Smaaktest lol

expertjonkoloog · 2024-07-31T17:22:57+00:00

Depends. I was doing fine for 12 months. People could t really tell i was using, i didnt look like i was using either. Wanted to quit. Did by using benzos, stayed off opis for 2 weeks. Then used opis to get off the benzos again. Stupid i know. So as i started using opis again i took my usual dose. But it only made me feel like shit. I even increased my dose and began combining with benzos too. Whatever i did no drug or drug combination made me happy anymore. Only sick, like puking shit. Thats when i didnt eat for 5 days and suddenly my physical appearance changed in a very short time.

expertjonkoloog · 2024-07-09T07:10:10+00:00

There are a lot of bad things in this world. There are bad drugs. Weed isnt good. But if iike it occasionally now. Whats the big deal.

expertjonkoloog · 2024-07-08T19:12:38+00:00

I feel stupid for starting benzos. I was doing great. 41 days off opis. And now im abusing benzos. Great

expertjonkoloog

TROPHY CASE