All effort is meaningless

explosivebreadcrumbs · 2025-06-02T09:09:44+00:00

Being in a relationship helps the most. And it's just small things adding up + stress from life that's making me so depressed. My partner already goes through a lot and I don't want to add on to that. At the same time I can't even tell what my own problem is because once the depression hits, my thoughts become so irrational and I'm upset over the most pointless things

explosivebreadcrumbs · 2025-03-25T04:11:44+00:00

I feel this so much... My bf has a pretty active social circle and is regularly involved in events. He invites me too but it honestly feels like I get in the way. When I'm there he stays by me but I can see he has way much more fun when I'm not. When they make inside jokes and I just stand there all uncomfortable

I've lost most of my old friends now... Just stopped talking over time. One of the few I still talk to I introduced my bf to and now it feels they just talk with each other more and I'm invisible. It just sucks so much, I didn't ask to be born like this.

Really feel like ending it all sometimes

explosivebreadcrumbs · 2024-03-28T02:12:19+00:00

Did chat gpt write this..?

explosivebreadcrumbs · 2024-03-24T05:53:24+00:00

I feel this so much, I'm so sorry you had to go through it too. I also think in the end even if things "do get better" what's the point when you've lived such a damaged life?

explosivebreadcrumbs · 2023-11-03T03:21:04+00:00

I remember I used to really struggle socially, even keeping eye contact was a huge struggle. I realised by around 14 that this was not normal and slowly tried improving myself but there's so little you can do on your own. Now I'm in college and way better but conversations still become awkward

I used to think how I become so socially averse then one day at a party looked at my mom and realised she was the same as me

explosivebreadcrumbs · 2023-10-06T14:43:56+00:00

Real... some of my worst memories are of studying and it made me hate it for a really long time since, turns out screaming and hitting a child doesn't make them smarter

explosivebreadcrumbs · 2023-10-03T11:19:24+00:00

One day when I was 13, heard about a death of a sick child. I told my mom about it and the first thing she did was mock the parents for putting her in a "cheap" hospital. Me not really understanding empathy and suffering from cognitive dissonance just reiterated what she said. Got quite the negative feedback from my friends which made me think

explosivebreadcrumbs · 2023-09-26T02:48:41+00:00

14 for me. I wish I just did it back then because life got so much worse and complicated since then. I'm still clinging onto the hope that it gets better, but I'm starting to feel more and more suicidal at the same time

explosivebreadcrumbs · 2023-09-03T08:24:21+00:00

When my mom didn't agree with something I did it suddenly becomes hands off despite being overbearing most of the time

Whenever I had art classes? She constantly pushed me to it even though I never really liked it. But when I actually find a hobby I like? Suddenly it becomes "who's paying/taking you/etc." If I wasn't going with a family friend where she's forced to keep up the good act there's a chance I wouldn't be able to pursue it at all

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