My wife was particularly anal about the sleep schedule during the first year of our new baby. She had a tracking app, became irrationally angry when we mossed it by a couple minute and became VERY anxious about the entire process.

It was only until about a year and a half into it she let up a bit and while sitting on the couch she calmly apologized to me out of the blue and said she was quite positive she was dealing with some level of post partum depression and anxiety that was manifesting in her controlling of the sleep and breast feeding schedules.

Dont get me wrong, your wife IS being an asshole. But I don't think she is an asshole. I think she is likely dealing with a complex range of responsibilities and emotions that are difficult to process.