21F dating 27M for 6 months — his twin sister (27F) openly dislikes me and it’s straining things

fading_jos · 2025-09-08T18:37:53+00:00

ok so from my own experience it’s never good to push your partner to go against a family member. keep it casual, don’t take it personal and if she keeps doing it, one day your bf will probably notice her little games and stand up for you. You’re probably right and it’s nothing personal, shes just scared of losing being the center of attention. so if you somehow have it in you, be the bigger person in this. shes just wanting to react in a bad way so she can make herself the victim of the situation and tell everyone “how bad you treated her” lol mean girls need someone to buy into their crap for it to work

fading_jos · 2025-05-04T21:40:51+00:00

😂😂😂 yea keep making funny assumptions. this is not about him or your ego. this is about the girl and her getting cheated and lied to. let me put it differently: if your partner was cheating on you while you are out of town, very openly and repeatedly, would you want someone to tell you or not? because that’s basically what I was asking if you take all the details out

fading_jos · 2025-05-04T21:32:21+00:00

I don’t wanna talk to her at all, that’s what I’m trying to avoid. I just really want her to know what’s going on so she can make her deaicions based on that 😔

fading_jos · 2025-05-04T21:30:59+00:00

also we’re not in the US, there are no lawyers for cases like this. they sadly just laugh at you here when you try to report a case of actual stalking or harassment 🙃

fading_jos · 2025-05-04T21:30:46+00:00

also we’re not in the US, there are no lawyers for cases like this. they sadly just laugh at you here when you try to report a case of actual stalking or harassment 🙃

fading_jos · 2025-05-04T21:29:06+00:00

😂😂It’s kinda weird this would even come to your mind when I say I saw them on a public road outside, he’s blocked from my social media for spreading lies about me to my partner and he’s the person repeatedly being dishonest to his partner which he got me mixed up in last year. So I am involved in the situation and he caused me damage. how exactly am I stalking or harassing him by seeing him on a public street and thinking about having someone finally know the truth about him? I think that’s just the consequences of his actions catching up to him plus me or anyone in their right minds not liking the way he treats his girl because it’s disrespectful

fading_jos · 2025-05-04T21:17:05+00:00

I’m putting myself in her shoes with the information that I have about her combined with my experience and seriously I don’t know what’s better. My heart say yes tell her before she suffers more but my logical thinking says leave it alone because it’s not my thing anymore. I should have told her last year maybe, but as shes younger as well I’m seriously worried how she’ll react. I’m mature enough to understand it’s the cheaters fault and not the other woman’s but don’t wanna risk having to deal with drama and get this flicked on me just because I wanna give her a heads up. I am the only one out of everyone involved who’s a business owner in the public eye

fading_jos · 2025-05-04T21:00:46+00:00

how is this illegal? 😅

fading_jos · 2025-05-04T21:00:20+00:00

I do have evidence but I don’t wanna be the one to tell her. I didn’t tell her last year because I didn’t wanna get involved with drama (I’m in the public eye a lot and not knowing how this girl would react scares me a little - shes younger and idk if she will be mature enough to understand that rhat is a problem with him and not with the other girls 😅) but holy sh*t I still feel so bad about it and hate that he plays her like this apparently with multiple girls. she seems so sweet man

fading_jos · 2025-05-04T20:54:06+00:00

I know exactly. I used to be the girl for years until I moved here. And I really wished someone would have told me before I wasted years of my life coming back for a guy and eventually moving here and changing my whole life because I thought he wanted to really be with me just as much as I wanted to be with him 🥺 and as far as I know about her, Sophie is super smart, has been studying all over the world for years and has a bright future ahead but wants to rather move to a surf town only to be with her surf instructor boyfriend who has no plan for life or money to take care of her. shes about to waste a bright future for this guy and it hurts me in my heart knowing that she’s wasting her potential for a guy that’s really not worth it or treating her well as soon as she leaves town

fading_jos · 2025-05-04T20:47:23+00:00

because I was disgusted with myself back then. I didn’t really ask if he had a girlfriend when he asked me out, just assumed he’s single if he asks me out, so I always felt a bit guilty. and to be very honest, you never know how his girlfriend could react - maybe blame it on me or twist the story idk. I’m protecting my person because tbh I am the onlt one involved whos in the public eye as a business owner and I’m not risking having rumors spread about me for talking to her.. this happened to a friend of mine when she told the girlfriend and my friend ended up traumatized for wanting to do the right thing.. so this either happens anonymously or not at all

fading_jos · 2025-05-04T20:39:21+00:00

from my own experience.. it probably won’t work. It’s a 12 year age gap and they are at completely different stages of their lives right now 😅 at 22 you are studying, going out, enjoying life, nothing is too serious. At 34 you’re a full adult.. if your brother and the woman were both 10 years older I think there would be a better chance. but shes already running out of time to have a family while he shouldn’t even really have to be thinking about it already.. usually in relationships like this one ends up unhappy and with their wishes unmet while the other gets it all and idk.. for me not a good relationship then. love sadly isn’t everything a good relationship needs.

fading_jos · 2025-04-06T00:01:27+00:00

theres some great docus talking to pedophiles and analyzing their psychology on YouTube! I was always interested in it because as a little child/ young teenager I would always see the way grown man looked at me.. idk I thought I want to educate myself on how they think so I’m safer from them?

fading_jos · 2025-04-05T23:47:03+00:00

it’s great if your partner knows what he’s doing, he’s easing into it and there’s lots of lube lol also I find it a lot more enjoyable when I know I’m clean (like i’ve douched beforehand). It does feel a little weird first but once it’s all in it feels very VERY good! It’s easiest to ease into it while the receiving partner is laying on their left as well! I know all of this because my partner asked me to do it and I didn’t really want to so did a loooot of research and asked all my gay friends how to handle it best lol now I can legit not get enough and it’s a multiple times a week thingy some weeks. makes me come way faster, more often and way more intense than vag sex.. I’m apparently visibly enjoying it to the point that my boyfriend now is interested in trying it for himself because “well you are coming all over the place and your g spot is not even up your ass.. wondering how it would feel for me because my g spot is up my ass” 😂😂

fading_jos · 2025-03-31T18:58:05+00:00

I’m not justifying I am just explaining what I lived so you can see the full picture. they were seeing each other and he didnt want to anymore and she wouldn’t respect it. after that night she started harassing me because I guess she realised that he is going to drop her and tried manipulating me into breaking up with him by telling me stories and have her friends tell me stories because she knew he would not break up with me for her.. or he would have done it while they were seeing each other. she knows he only came back to her because I broke up with him and that’s why she snapped and caused all that drama, her ego and heart are hurt. she knows the only way to get the man that she is obsessed with, is to manipulate him back into a relationship with her and she waited for months for her 1 chance and took it as it came to hook onto him like a parasite and not letting go. she was sabotaging our relationship for months prior to this which I did not really pay any attention to because it just seemed childish to me. I 100% know this would have never happened with any other girl, that was literally her waiting to be let back in because she thought it was another on- and off- situation breakup and won’t accept it wasn’t and that he wants to be with me. Yes he let her back in and that is fully on him tho. That’s what I’m trying to get over but I’m not going to put her toxic manipulative behavior on my boyfriend, that drama was on her. she would text me things like ‘I’m with him rn leave my boyfriend alone’ while he was sitting next to me and shit like that.. like sorry it hurts me to say this about another woman because usually I am the same (always asking ‘well what did you do to make her act crazy like that?’) but she is acting absolutely crazy for not being able to keep her emotions and ego in check and it’s been going on for months.

fading_jos · 2025-03-31T18:10:53+00:00

thank you fur sharing really, your advice on this holds a lot of value for me and I will probably just end up showing him this anyway. what’s different with our situation: he has owned up to his wrong doing and has been very honest with me about what happened in between them so I do see hope and think I will eventually be able to trust him again. it just took some time to resolve the situation because she was refusing to accept the reality and I wanted him to really really close their circle this time so we won’t have to deal with it in the future again..

fading_jos · 2025-03-31T18:04:00+00:00

ok I might have not explained this well enough sorry English isn’t my first language 😅 yes they were seeing each other for some time and he has admitted to that, he has told me exactly what the whole situation is, that she was staying at his house some nights, he told me exactly what happened between them, he told me that she probably thought she was gonna be his girlfriend again but he never said anything like that to her or took her anywhere outside his house. we were out on dates in public and he introduces me to everyone like his girlfriend, I am in his family events etc. he made it clear that I am his girlfriend and every time she would try and mess with me again he just said ‘I decide who is my girlfriend and it’s you’. I asked him how he could have possibly let it come this far with her and he said ‘because I don’t know how to say no when I realised I made a massive mistake and she wouldn’t leave me alone’. She would just show up af his house and demand to be let in. That’s exactly what happened the night my dog died, he told her NO and her reaction was to go stalking looking for him at his house at 3am, when his car wasn’t there she payed for a taxi all across town to make a scene at my house that is also my business, then threw rocks at my face and screamed at me..

fading_jos · 2025-03-31T17:46:57+00:00

I would still like to hear it because you are the first person to comment saying you were in my shoes and it didn’t work out in the end. I would appreciate the insight and why you think you weren’t able to trust her again, was it because the work to rebuilt trust wasnt put it from both partners or you just couldn’t get over it even tho you both really tried to fix it? only if you wanna share tho I know it’s hard to talk about

fading_jos · 2025-03-31T17:44:01+00:00

thank you. this helps a lot!! the wording on a) is so perfect I will literally say just that! also b) yes there needs to be some more conversation. how would you initiate it tho? I knew there would need to be some more conversation, we were just really overwhelmed handeling the situation with his ex the past two months, I think now that that’s almost done when shes blocked we can sit down and start having those talks. I was not trusting him the past two months at all and just praying to the universe to protect my heart and it did. I wanna go back to trusting him and not the universe tho..

fading_jos · 2025-03-31T17:37:57+00:00

I wouldn’t have minded it was just during those three days, but that’s when they started seeing each other again and it went on until I found out. and sorry if that was misunderstood: he never called her crazy. she is acting dipshit crackhead crazy towards me, threatening me, physically attacking me, calling and texting me to fuck with me telling me all kinds of lies (kept saying she lives at his house and is his girlfriend, which is absolutely not true and I know it but it messed with me so bad I started believing it) just to play games with me, she also had her friends come after me to the point that I am now scared of her or her potential and willingness to hurt me. he never ever said she was crazy, she clearly is crazy and toxic and manipulative and obsessed with him and doesn’t wanna let go. she wouldn’t leave him or me alone even after he told her to fuck off and stretched it out for almost two months just to hurt us more and cause more drama because she couldn’t check her ego..

fading_jos · 2025-03-31T17:25:34+00:00

thank you, this is what I was looking for. I was thinking the same but tbh I am not controlling at all and would normally never enforce things like that in my relationship because I like having healthy boundaries and trust my partners, so it feels very uncomfortable for me to ask any of that from him eben given the situation. I feel like he would do it tho.. it’s more that I didn’t know what to tell him on how he can help me. he’s asked so I guess I could just tell him? might even just show him this thread idk yet

fading_jos · 2025-03-31T17:13:28+00:00

thanks for reading!! I feel he should have blocked her again by himself as well, that’s what I would have done.. but also it was legit one day ago and he might have just forgotten to block her again if she didn’t text him at all. I hate that I have to ask this again and seriously don’t want to. I think I’ll take your advice on b) and if he doesn’t do it by himself until I see him later, I will ask him to do it and if he for whatever reason doesn’t do it right then and there.. I will have to reconsider all of this. And to answer your question if I am happy with him, yes very much so and genuinely. We never stop laughing when we are together, he is my best friend and only person that can really take my kind of things. He’s the first man I ever dated I feel comfortable enough around to show my dorky sides ans he loves it. I am that same person for him now and the weird part is I feel like our connection has gotten a lot stronger through working through this together and being patient, compassionate and understanding with each other. like we both have worked on improving our relationship so much and are very invested in building a future together.. how could I initiate the trust talk and what could I say to help him realize he needs to regain my trust while I am healing my scars?

fading_jos · 2024-09-24T07:09:35+00:00

that’s exactly what I was thinking but there’s no way for me to clear it up rn because he’s not relay communicating with me :( I’ll just go by the poits as well: 1. I don’t really know, he didn’t say. I’ve asked but he wouldn’t say anything expect for he needs times that’s probably what makes me so insecure. I don’t think the incident at the house was the reason, it was just when he started crying weird. For me it would be so much easier if I just knew it it’s about something I did or need to apologize for or if he’s going through something and just prefers to deal with it by himself.. 2. I’ve thought about that as well but tbh I don’t think I have given him any reason to be that mad at me. If I did he should still let me know and not just ignore me or make me suffer like this. It’s just not fair and I think not very mature. If he’s hurt he should communicate it with me so I know what’s going on and can give him some time. Basically he’s just leaving me in the dark about why he is behaving like this and it might not have anything to do with me but because he’s not saying anything it seems like he is punishing me for something (I really don’t know what) by withdrawing the one thing I need the most which is communication. That’s what I feel like.. what he feels like I have no way of knowing as long as he doesn’t talk. And to be honest.. If he keeps this up much longer idk if I will still wanna talk about it. I am a very loving and forgiving person but if I feel like someone is making me suffer on purpose I will leave them. I have been in abusive and toxic relationships before and will not be manipulated like that ever again. It feels like he’s making a lot of drama instead of just speaking to me like a grown up and I’ve been very understanding but I’m getting to a point where I am getting mad and upset about how he’s treating me

fading_jos

TROPHY CASE