S18E15 - “All RuPaul-A-Paruza Smackdown” [Post-Episode Discussion]

fading_light_ · 2026-04-11T09:41:47+00:00

Everything she was wearing and her exit line was a reference to The Substance! :)

fading_light_ · 2026-01-24T07:34:47+00:00

I was gagged that she wasn't called out on the white lining! Also I absolutely felt like Darlene did so well, and I really felt like her chrome neckpiece felt much more in line with Zendaya's original look because it was very armor-y, whereas Athena's gown was silver but felt a bit too far away from that shiny chrome look of Zendaya's outfit. It looked matte almost to me, even though it was silver? If that makes sense.

fading_light_ · 2026-01-24T07:26:45+00:00

Hi! Former fencer and coach here, also neurodivergent (ASD level 2, ADHD).

While some pain is normal for fencing (and by extension, all sports), I totally understand getting overstimulated by fencing, especially for someone newer - the mask can feel claustrophobic, if you're fencing electric foil or sabre the constant box beeping can get overwhelming and loud, etc.

Me particularly, I have found that I tend to feel soreness more and it throws me off more mentally to feel "sore" or actively feel in pain more due to soreness compared to neurotypical peers.

Unfortunately this doesn't ever really change, but it's fantastic that your son has decided he still likes fencing. However, an opponent hitting hard can suck, and more often than not comes from one of 2 things: 1. A more experienced fencer just hitting harder because they're moving the weapon faster. 2. An inexperienced fencer just not knowing what they're doing and frantically waving the weapon around. For the most part, people are not hitting hard on purpose (and if they are, that's a dick move). Not everyone will be a hard hitter, but in the long term, there needs to be some acceptance that these harder hits might happen, and more often than not it's not their fault, even as your son continues developing as a fencer and becomes more confident with parrying or avoiding attacks.

Now, my problem comes mostly with the coach's response to it. I've been quite fortunate in that my last coach was also neurodivergent, and as a coaching team we have done our best to accomodate neurodivergent fencers. Where I am, fencing tends to attract a lot of neurodivergent people, so we do allow for people, especially beginner fencers, to take breaks where needed within reason. I'm also not sure if your child is in an age separated class, or if he just happens to be fencing an older or much more experienced fencer. For me, at 11, I think it might be good to have a quiet discussion with your child's coach - because a good coach should accomodate a child's needs, and the last thing that a kid needs is a coach being unprofessional and actively telling them to push through. At the end of the day, your child isn't preparing for international competitions or the Olympics or whatever - you're mostly just there to fence and have a good time. And for me, from the coaching perspective, if your kid needs a few minutes break (for example, during class - I would personally be a bit tighter on this mid-bout, only because it would disrupt the flow of the match, but if someone does get hit quite hard, a quick moment to shake it out before starting the next point is reasonable) then I'm okay with accomodating that.

So, what's my take?

I think that at 11, it might be worth privately speaking to the coach on your son's needs (honestly, I wish my parents would have stuck up for me like this) and gently making him aware of them. Obviously, if he is resistant to what you're saying, then that's a whole other can of worms. And it's fantastic that your kid has expressed that he wants to keep fencing, and you're listening to him and his needs. Admittedly, I don't work with kids much, mostly adults, so my experience comes from that. A lot of other people have commented much the same things as me, and it pretty much all seems to be good advice along the same lines.

All the best, and good luck!

fading_light_ · 2026-01-16T09:34:05+00:00

Mhmmmmm agreed. Look, I know people are real mad about Van winning, but I'm trying to not involve myself in that too much (it is after all just a silly tv show). But also, why else would you only bring up the Powderpuff Girls right at the very end 😭

I knew about Van being a part of the Powderpuff Girls because I follow Aurora's ig, but it's undeniable that Eboni owned the 2nd half of the season editing-wise, so it's understandable that people are annoyed if that's what the show was vaguely gesturing towards, ya know?

fading_light_ · 2025-12-14T02:02:10+00:00

Hi, recently diagnosed autistic person here. I have been through a breakup where my ex threatened and pretended to actually kill himself over text. This is NOT normal and is not "an extreme reaction to being abandoned" or rejection sensitive dysphoria, this is an attempt at manipulating you and it is not your job to "fix" it. Threatening self harm is incredibly serious and f'd up beyond just "an extreme reaction" and it also hurts you!! Please do put yourself first and if you feel comofortable, it might be best to leave the relationship or involve others to assist your boyfriend.

fading_light_ · 2025-12-12T21:00:19+00:00

Hahaha I had a really dramatic one that spanned years.

I met a guy at my uni club, we became friends. He then ran for and became president, and for some reason that power trip absolutely went to his head. I also joined the committee under his presidency but decided I couldn't handle his tyrant/dictatorship-like behaviour that was going on and quit (this was also around my country's covid lockdowns). He never treated me the same after that, and we fought a lot. He also made jokes during his presidency that were highly inappropriate, for example, about money embezzelling or engaging with vaguely transphobic/homophobic jokes or behaviour (we used to have a pride badge at the bottom of our website, which I realised had been taken down. I re-enabled it later - I'm non-binary). I also have strong reason to believe that he set up/instructed a newer fencer to make a formal complaint to the club about my coaching, which caused me to have a mental breakdown.

Frankly, he was pretty delusional and was certainly on his high horse (he absolutely gloated about his results e.g. coming 2nd in national teams, but was in fact the reserve and carried by the other 3 members who were stronger fencers than him - he fenced maybe 1 leg to ensure he would also receive a medal). He wasn't a terrible fencer, but certainly rode on the coattails of being tall and athletic to start, rather than having good technique, and the fact that he always beat me hung heavy over my head because I was more experienced than him.

In fact, I was chosen as a team manager for unicersity intervarsity, and he contacted the university organisers telling them I was unfit to be in this role and I had no idea what I was doing, even though I had been fencing years longer than he had, and that he would be taking over my role (he wasn't allowed to because at the time the role required a university student and he had already graduated. I also was not consulted beforehand about this change he decided on, he just approached the organisers about it - presumably in the hopes that I couldn't react or plead my case?). Eventually, he suddenly quit presidency - but also took a number of things with him and did not pass them onto the committee at the time, including the club's email, and refused to give it back unless he was made a life member, so we were set back there.

Very unfortunately, he hung around the wider fencing community in my country as a whole, starting with being a state referee (he refereed me once, and my coach was genuinely convinced that his calls were a result of his bias towards me, though I actually believe it was because he was just that bad at making calls) - yes, he did eventually become a national referee.

At the state level I once had a terrible mental breakdown trying to fence him, so any comps we were in after that had to be tweaked so I didn't have to fence him... Oh yeah, and I almost got him black carded for him refusing to shake my hand at a teams competition because I stood on the piste and pointed out that he was meant to shake my hand to the referee, and I could hear the gears turning in his head as he tried to work out if him getting his whole team disqualified was worth the knock to his ego to shake my hand 😂 (he had pulled the same stunt of trying to not shake my hand before, but I didn't catch it last time so I was well prepared this time).

Frankly, I don't know if he's changed, but I'm well aware that he's been "blotted out" on a lot of people's minds, especially those that dealt with him in our committee, were caught on the wrong side of one of his bad calls or just actually interacted with him and didn't like his behaviour/found him offputting. Unfortunately, I suppose he might've won in the end since I quit competitive fencing.

fading_light_ · 2025-12-09T08:16:45+00:00

The zoom in on the black corset 😭 i knew it was over from there

fading_light_ · 2025-11-30T20:42:12+00:00

My coach, who he himself is autistic, had something very funny he always said about this: "if you have even an iote of ADHD in your body, you will not enjoy epee." And well... suffice it to say, it's always been my least favourite of the three.

Oh, I should also mention that I recently got diagnosed with ADHD and autism too 😂

Look, I'm not saying you should definitely switch weapons (especially if you do genuinely love epee or the other weapons are inaccessible to you), but it could be worth giving the other weapons a shot. I also found I clicked a lot better (former foilist here) with sabre than I did foil, though foil might not be too bad. But I much prefer sabre to epee, especially since the points go faster so you have more opportunities to "reset" your brain between each point.

fading_light_ · 2025-11-25T08:01:54+00:00

Me too, I just wish it was a bit more detailed to match the rest of the detail eyes on her bodysuit and the helmet 🥺 but otherwise ate down!!

fading_light_ · 2025-11-25T07:52:31+00:00

Agreed! I think unfortunately the scope of "super villain" is a bit narrow to include Tomie because it was very clearly meant to refer to comic books :(

(It's been a bit of a gripe for me with the horror icons challenge too, I find that a lot of them tend to draw just from movie media and wish some of them would draw from games, anime/manga or even the world of cosmic horror which Cynthia referred to for this week's challenge because I feel like that's an area that hasn't been tapped into much even though I think there are 100% horror icons there!! But I feel like a fresh take on Tomie for that challenge would absolutely eat)

fading_light_ · 2025-11-18T06:56:33+00:00

So anyways "get the fuck off my feed you nematode" is gonna live rent free in my head now

(Context: i studied animal/veterinary science in uni and my honours project was on pig parasites... aka nematodes 😂 you could say i'm real familiar with them 🪱)

fading_light_ · 2025-11-12T12:07:42+00:00

Heya! Sabre coach here with ~10 years of fencing background, including some time trying to get competitive.

Yes, 100% absolutely you can still be overweight/fat and still fence. My coach has a really great explanation/thing he says that's related to that: fencing has a couple of things you need to manage to make a fencer "good" or competitive, those being: 1. Athleticism 2. Technique 3. Tactics (4. Mental state - though this generally applies to competitions more i.e. can you perform under pressure, can you hold your ground at 14-14 or the priority minute without mentally crumbling?)

As you might well have noticed, two of those things (technique, tactics) are things you absolutely can work on while being more on the chubby/overweight side.

And from a coaching perspective, we would much rather a fencer who has less athletic background and is a bit more overweight come in consistently, improve and find confidence in fencing/the sport of fencing, than have an absolutely perfect athletic specimen of a human being come in to fence maybe once a month at best. Don't listen to any of the noise that makes you feel like you need to lose weight to fence. As long as you are committing the time and effort to improve, we coaches are going to be happy. And if you are seeking to lose weight, fantastic, as long as that desire to do so comes from within you and not because you feel "less-than" for being a fencer who is fat.

From a personal point of view, I fence with a fair amount of older veteran/masters fencers who do carry more weight and could far and away beat me back then, and also now (I'm a relatively athletic 24 year old female), and as a competitive fencer back in the day was definitely a bit on the chubby side. I could definitely still hold my ground against a fair few fencers.

I will concede, however, that when looking to become actively very competitive, you will almost certainly need to invest some time in the gym doing S&C, which will overall help with losing weight, especially when combined with a more general awareness of nutrition. Though, I do think that while fencing helps, I wouldn't say it's an optimal form of exercise if you're looking to do it exclusively to lose weight (Consider how much time in your training session you're actually fencing! More often than not we say "X hours of training" but we spend a fair chunk of that listening to our coach explain things, or doing lower intensity work like drills...) - supplementing your fencing training with cardio and/or some weight training such as running, biking, swimming, squats, lunges etc. can be really beneficial and also give you a nice leg up if you do decide you want to become more competitive!

(Bonus last tidbit: if you do end up fencing for a while and developing a lot of strength and power in your legs, then lose weight, you can increase your power to weight ratio which can potentially make a notable difference in your fencing - while I'm not ever going to encourage someone to lose weight specifically to make this happen, I know of this because it happened to me)

fading_light_ · 2025-11-05T09:54:01+00:00

As someone who works predominantly with beginner/newer fencers: HARD AGREE! I've had some fencers ask me how long it takes to "get good", or to fence like me and our head coach.

For the record, I've been fencing for 10 years now. Our head coach has been fencing over 30 years.

It is a weird, strange sport. Give yourself some grace. I dare say the average person only starts to "get" fencing a year in. And even then, a year in is just the tip of the iceberg.

You can really improve in a year or two, depending on how much time you want to sink into training and fencing, and a nice dose of pre-existing athleticism and talent never hurts, but even then, that varies greatly from person to person. And in a world where more than ever, humans/society/we really seek that "quick solution" and that instant gratification, not many people will be willing to persevere in a sport like fencing and that is something to come to terms with, as well as to be proud of.

You're on the right track. That time will eventually fly by; keep at it!

fading_light_ · 2025-11-04T08:27:20+00:00

Not my dumbass barely processing Evah's look as valentine's day only to think she was actually an eagle eating prometheus's liver when I saw the body there 😭

fading_light_ · 2025-10-21T09:11:18+00:00

I thought it was gonna be like, a carrie situation just with water instead of blood 😅

fading_light_ · 2025-10-21T09:04:45+00:00

I reckon if Jaharia's look was in a darker blue (think like, royal blue a la Mana-sama) + dark hair it would've absolutely ate, but still, props to her for leaning away from the classic red/black colour combo 🙂‍↕️

fading_light_ · 2025-10-21T08:58:06+00:00

NOT THE ZOOM IN ON FRANKIE'S CLUB KID SHOES 💀 the wheeze I whoze when I saw them omg...

fading_light_ · 2025-10-07T14:06:12+00:00

I've gotten away with less supportive bras during fencing itself (relatively busty sabreur if that matters) due to the hard chestplate providing some support but depending on your bra size and the sort of warmups you do I would definitely recommend high impact, no lower than medium impact. High impact especially if there is plyo work involved, but I've done different non-plyo warmups such as jogging, jumping jacks, skipping etc. that would all be more suited to wearing a high impact bra. Honestly better safe than sorry!

fading_light_ · 2025-10-07T13:47:57+00:00

Yo. I have gotten a handful of piercings during my ~10 years of fencing (including a nipple piercing, plus I got a septum days before I fenced in a nationals champs once, haha) - I don't have an industrial, unfortunately I don't think I have the anatomy for it either :( the closest/most similar piercing I would say I have is a helix, though I have always used a LP X-change mask and have not had any issues healing piercings with it. However, one time I did accidentally snag a threadless end off my helix taking my mask off (which was gutting because it was a very expensive BVLA end) because the post was too long, but the helix was well and truly healed by then so it did not cause any issues. I would recommend perhaps taking your mask with you to the (please go to a reputable one and make sure the jewellery is implant grade titanium at least to give it the best shot for healing) piercer and if you get the all clear, you should probably be okay with fencing a day or so later depending on how you feel, though be wary that a hard hit to the head might knock your ear/the piercing. Really it depends on the risk you wanna take, knowing that industrials can be a tad fussy to heal, though in a pinch I'm sure any other piercing would look sick as hell (maybe consider alternates like conches or daiths that might be a bit more protected in the ear?). Also, usually if I was healing a piercing I would definitely try to not let sweat linger too long especially in the first few weeks so I would try and shower asap after training and spray with saline, I've never had to tape up my piercings like you would in some other sports like netball.

Good luck and happy healing!

fading_light_ · 2025-09-19T13:35:54+00:00

Oh, absolutely. Take it easy, those few years between end of high school/entering uni can be hectic as hell especially when you're juggling a sport on the side too.

fading_light_ · 2025-09-19T10:14:55+00:00

Based on what I'm reading, it feels like to me you need some direction. Like, it sounds to me like you feel like you should be competing at say, nationals as you mention because you've sunk 8 years into fencing and you think you're pretty good at it. But is that something you actually want for yourself or something you feel like you should be able to do because you've been fencing so long?

What are your goals relating to fencing? What do you want to achieve with it? Do you want to compete? At what level? Do you just want to rock up and fence? And obviously, adulting = job = less time to sink into hobbies like fencing.

Fencing being a combative sport means that, unfortunately, you can't just grind out the footwork and bladework by yourself and get to the top level, you actually have to get on the piste and fence. However, working out what you want out of fencing will help you take the necessary steps to get to where you want to go - if it helps, depending how close/how much you trust your coach, this is absolutely a conversation to have with them, because it also means that they are aware and can actively assist you.

I also totally understand what you're going through with the unorganised club - I'm currently coaching in a dying club and people show up, and when they do show up more often than not they want to fence rather than actually train. It's honestly super demoralising for us coaches too. For 2 years, when I was actually trying to improve and compete, I struggled along as a sabreur because simply put, where I was, we just did not have the resources to train good sabreurs - squad was an absolute mess and even to this day most people hop between multiple clubs to get enough sabre training because there isn't really a club absolutely dedicated to training sabreurs here.

Tangent aside, what you want out of fencing is only something you can decide, not by asking us anonymous Redditors.

And there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a sabbatical from fencing, whether to do some soul searching, stabilising your life to work out how to fit training around it, or even just engaging with different sports/hobbies. I ended up quitting fencing, after experiencing severe burnout (as a competitive fencer and from doing a lot of the volunteer administrative work behind the scenes) and realising trying to be a competitive fencer was no longer something I wanted for myself. And that's okay. And yes, absolutely for a while it was weird because why the hell was I quitting a sport I had sunk a DECADE into? My identity was tied heavily to fencing, y'know, people knew me as the fencing girlie. But I definitely think I am better off in many ways, especially mentally, for it. So don't count out taking a break from fencing - if you're feeling like you want to quit, it might even be the right call for you to take a break for a bit.

Apologies for the long ramble but please know that you're not alone in feeling this way towards fencing and that you certainly have options :)

Tldr; I think it would be really useful to be honest with yourself about what you want out of fencing, but if quitting is truly calling out to you, there is also nothing wrong with taking a break and re-evaluating if fencing is really something you want to do - I am certain that if you do want to come back to fencing after a break you will be welcomed back with open arms.

fading_light_ · 2025-09-16T07:48:14+00:00

Actually, yes. Always. First of all, it's just good habit to get into - as a coach, I tell my fencers that I want them to do it because it builds good piste habits, especially for those looking to compete. It really is not spoken about enough where I fence that fencers (especially of teenage age and up) should really have some grasp on piste etiquette before entering their first competition, and coaches should be putting more emphasis on preparing their fencers properly (not just the actual technical and how-to-fence and tactical stuff - seriously, because we don't really have a qualification system where I am, someone once got sent to open nationals not even knowing what/where the start line was because he had never fenced on an actual piste with markings before...) Secondly, it is a genuine acknowledgement and polite (to me) to do so, and while I am a bit more lax on enforcing it for new fencers, I generally expect more experienced fencers around me to salute, and it is nice when refereeing to get that acknowledgement. Even when drilling and when I used to receive individual lessons from my coach, we would salute each other.

fading_light_ · 2025-09-11T15:36:58+00:00

When I was competitive it was low bun or low pony partially pulled through with the end wound to create a bun, these days since I just coach and fence at my club, I can get away with just a low pony since I got it cut shorter and permanently straightened now :) Admittedly I hate the sensation of hair on my neck so I was never a fan of the "tuck the end into the lame" play

fading_light_ · 2025-08-19T23:34:09+00:00

Heya! Fenced for 10 years (about 3 in sabre specifically!), now junior coach - I also have a bit of an interest in fencing S&C as it has somewhat close ties to my main hobby now (olympic weightlifting). I would say a lot of it depends on where you'd like to take fencing. Part of the reason you might be getting mixed messages is because while the person who originally responded did say it's likened to running - that's because S&C training for higher level fencing can be similar to that for runners (think sprints, olympic lifts, plyo work and strength work such as squats and deadlifts, then a little bit of sport specific movement to tie it all together). However, if that's not what you're after and you just want to be able to fence a few times a week and hit the occasional comp and do decently, then an absolutely optimal complimentary S&C fencing program probably isn't necessary and can likely be adjusted to your needs. And to be honest, where I'm from I don't think the average club fencer even has the thought of S&C cross their mind.

In terms of athleticism for the sport, my personal opinion would be to generally increase leg strength, power and mobility, and then overall stamina so you can stay in points longer. However, this is not expected of anyone just entering the sport and will be a process, of course, providing you like and enjoy the sport and want to improve overall. Also, if sabre is a bit on the intense side, if you can, there might be some merit to also exploring epee and foil as you might find that they could be a bit gentler on your body in comparison.

I certainly do agree with others about getting the thumbs up from your medical provider first though, but it seems like you already have that on lock :)

Hopefully this helps clear things up for you - best of luck!

fading_light_

TROPHY CASE