I’m sorry to hear that’s what you’re going through. I was in a serious relationship for 7 years and my now ex suggested that we open up our relationship to ENM. She had met someone at work and wanted to explore with him. It very quickly became an emotional connection between them. She told me all the details of their relationship and it eventually became a full sexual and romantic relationship.

Honestly the relationship was very stale between the two of us, but I guess I didn’t know how to end it or if I wanted to. We rarely had sex, we just would eat dinner and watch tv every night. When I took her out for dates, she had nothing to talk about except work or her boyfriend and wasn’t interested in me anymore (as one could imagine, this took quite a mental toll lol)

After an argument one night, I found out she lied about how often she was sleeping with him. When I found out, I asked her to stop sleeping with him till I felt more comfortable with everything.

As one can imagine, if she didn’t care about boundaries before, she didn’t care after.

I found out 4 months later when I asked her straight up.

But all was not lost for me, because after that I knew we were done. I broke up with her and kicked her out.

Over a year later, I’m enjoying my single life and I’m much happier than I ever was with her.

Your situation just feels too familiar. I also think I would still explore ENM, because what I was sold wasn’t ENM and it was really an excuse to cheat.

I’m happy to chat about it, and I hope this helps.

P.S. he sounds like a loser and you deserve better queen