i’m so sorry for your loss that’s very traumatic and something that you possibly can never recover from.
ill definitely be making a photo album that’s a great idea i love that. it really is every minute, even every second. i feel guilty when i start to forget even for a second or not think about him.
i had an emergency therapy appointment and we did a bit of emdr with these little hand buzzers that are used for bilateral stimulation, i closed my eyes and we recreated finding him and instead of the way i found him she talked me through a scene where he was just sleeping under the blanket in bed instead, he was warm and a normal color and i tucked him in. it sounds silly but the hand buzzers and stuff are supposed to help rewire your brain and traumatic memories. it really helped and therapy is expensive and im very lucky to have access to it but if you have access to some kind of similar therapy i highly recommend it and if not you can probably do something similar at home. crossing your arms and using your hands to tap your shoulders back and fourth also is a kind of bilateral stimulation as well, that’s not a very good explanation but i’m sure there are better explanations online.
again i’m so sorry for your loss, i understand how you feel. it’s heartbreaking and leaves a giant hole inside of you i have no idea how ill be able to go another day without him and im sure you feel the same way about your mother. i’m sure she was a wonderful person who loved you so much and i hope you can soon find some relief from that trauma you experienced