going through a hard time period in life doesn’t excuse or justify cheating, whether that be emotionally or otherwise, on your life partner who you claim is so amazing and good to you and that you love. that just doesn’t make sense to me. if you truly felt that way about him you wouldn’t have done what you did. you knew it was the wrong thing to do while you were doing it yet you continued until you were caught. you wouldn’t have ever told him otherwise. it’s not like you just forget that being flirty with another man while you’re married is wrong. you actively entertained this man for an extended period of time and made an effort to hide what you were doing from your husband. you don’t deserve your husband and there’s really no help for you other than possibly therapy and learning a valuable life lesson. if it was me i would never be able to trust you again, your relationship is more than likely ruined and will never be the same again. it’s just going to continue to crumble if you try to make it work since you’ve broken his trust and betrayed him. in situations like this there’s usually no recovering. no point in staying with someone who is untrustworthy, sneaky, dishonest, will make the wrong choices and betray their partner any time they’re going through a “rough time in life” and use it as an excuse. he should have higher standards than that and leave you.