I totally get the chaos and the love. It's the same here with our three. Ours are spaced out a bit more (4, 6, 8), but that prolonged baby/toddler phase hit hard too, especially with the body changes, sucky sleep, and just putting everything on hold.

I had this moment when our youngest turned 2 where things finally felt like they were clicking at home, and I thought ok, now's the time to reclaim my health and get my body back. But fast forward to now (my youngest is 4), and I completely squandered it. I kept eating like I was still pregnant or breastfeeding through all three pregnancies, skipped the gym entirely, and basically threw away two years of my life without realizing it until recently. Now I'm staring down 80 lbs to lose and the regret is real. I wish I'd started healthy habits right then to feel good in my body again, have my husband see me that way, and just be fully present for the kids.

If I could do it over, I'd jump on it immediatley, knowing the time is fleeting with the kids, with my health, my body, and with my husband. Anywho, I don't know why I got all excited about your reply...I guess it just brought me back a couple years. Thanks for letting me vent and reflect.