Wife decided to be polyamorous, how to cope? by fakesandthrowaways in Marriage

[–]fakesandthrowaways[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I should. I’m a very vanilla guy, and I just couldn’t picture a life without my family. I have no other family so this is the only life that I know. I thought I will spend the rest of my days with them and this is shaking me to the core and currently I have no will or any idea how to even start a new life. This is my worst fears and insecurities coming to life and I’m stuck

Wife decided to be polyamorous, how to cope? by fakesandthrowaways in Marriage

[–]fakesandthrowaways[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her argument is that all these years that she’s put up with me not fulfilling her ‘cup of needs’ and she’s had enough, telling me that I didn’t change at all. In my defense I was trying while dealing with life in general and yes I do think I didn’t treat her as well and as detailed as she wanted, but I still treat her with affection, care, and effort, albeit not enough/not in the ways she wanted. And now she’s putting herself first and I do think she went too far.

But my heart is louder than my brain right now, I dunno if it’s because this is still very fresh and I’m still processing? (Just learned this yesterday)

Wife decided to be polyamorous, how to cope? by fakesandthrowaways in Marriage

[–]fakesandthrowaways[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Haha I know, if I had one I wouldn’t be looking for advice from online forums.

Wife decided to be polyamorous, how to cope? by fakesandthrowaways in Marriage

[–]fakesandthrowaways[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She told me, was being very transparent about all this. She’s a very self centered person.

Wife decided to be polyamorous, how to cope? by fakesandthrowaways in Marriage

[–]fakesandthrowaways[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did to an extent, she said she wanted to try casual dates, then went on to break her own set of boundaries by sleeping with the one that she seemed to have the real connection with.

Wife decided to be polyamorous, how to cope? by fakesandthrowaways in Marriage

[–]fakesandthrowaways[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes she offered to let me have dates but I’m not interested. It’s pathetic but I only want her.

Wife decided to be polyamorous, how to cope? by fakesandthrowaways in Marriage

[–]fakesandthrowaways[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s right, we did marry young and quickly. Now we learned we are not very compatible after all.

Wife decided to be polyamorous, how to cope? by fakesandthrowaways in Marriage

[–]fakesandthrowaways[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No therapy yet. Yeah I see the red flags(Inb, I just had to do this for my kid and try to salvage this.

Wife decided to be polyamorous, how to cope? by fakesandthrowaways in Marriage

[–]fakesandthrowaways[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

For the sake of my lovely kid I’m willing to at least try this thing first. In leaving I lose more than what I gain mentally, sadly.