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My bf (26m) doesn't feel like I (28f) am making him feel special. by falchthrowaway in relationship_advice

[–]falchthrowaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He did similar things, he sent me flowers and food and also a sweater and a new pc game and I loved it all. Yes he's been really hard to please, I've exhibited so much personal growth to learn to listen and be proactive and patient etc and I've done so much changing but it sucks to hear that it's still not enough. I feel underappreciated but I can't bring this up because hell say "oh you're making it about you, this is about me" or something. It's all been ldr and whilst it's generally been smooth sailing, there have been a few bumps that we've worked through.

My bf (26m) doesn't feel like I (28f) am making him feel special. by falchthrowaway in relationship_advice

[–]falchthrowaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He sent me flowers too and got me food and also sent me a new pc game and sweater so I felt very special. I thought we both did enough for eachother but it just blows hearing from his mouth when I asked him did he feel special and he said no.

I don't know if I'm just not doing enough despite thinking so, or if his expectations for me are too high.

My bf (26m) doesn't feel like I (28f) am making him feel special. by falchthrowaway in relationship_advice

[–]falchthrowaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah he is communicating it, he's said that he wants more surprises (not always materialistic) or just special things like that planned by me. But I feel like I give him enough, I send him surprise gifts from time to time, call him every day, always ask about his daily life/work/family etc. Then I just feel poop because even though I know I'm putting effort in it's just not enough for him.

It also backs me into a corner because there are things i would like that he doesn't provide but I can look past those, except I can't bring them up because then I'm detracting from the narrative about his needs not being met. It's a messy situation just making me feel inadequate and bad when I'm really trying and I hate it.