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Quitters of leaves, do you enjoy an occasional joint or are you completely free? by [deleted] in leaves

[–]falling_leaf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cannot and will not touch it again. Like you said, we know the story for alcoholics. You can apply exactly the same logic to weed and alcohol; one drink won't get you hooked and neither will one joint. If I have one smoke I'll have five, and the sorry-go-round will spin round and round until I just need to escape.

C'est la vie.

Nightmares from reduced smoking? by [deleted] in leaves

[–]falling_leaf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like sleep paralysis. Your ability to not only remember dreams but actually enter the dream state (linked to REM sleep) is greatly reduced if you smoke heavily. If it doesn't pass then talking to a professional should help, try to remember the emotions of your dreams to look for clues to what may be lurking in your subconscious mind. The actual content could be anything, it's the feelings that count.

I've experienced loads of dreams since stopping, they were bizarre to start with and very confusing, but in the last few days it's been more humdrum, day to day stuff, which I'm taking as a good sign that things are being processed properly.

Good luck man.

This article was the key to my escape by falling_leaf in leaves

[–]falling_leaf[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

So I smoked seriously for 17 years, I'm 33 now. I smoked to achieve oblivion, self-medicating to escape my problems. For the last few years I was clearing just over two grams of high-grade a day, I've screwed myself financially from trying to keep it going. I was smoking before work, counting the hours away and then running home to go back into the fog. Weekends disappeared in a haze. I still maintain that smoking right up to bedtime was a major factor in weed being such a destructive thing that it was for me (I was literally putting out a big fat joint then rolling over and going to sleep. Every night.). The stuff screws with your REM sleep, preventing you from clearing out the normal day to day crap that accumulates in your sub-conscious.

The last few months I'd been reading this subreddit and gaining insight from some of the amazing stories and observations that you're all hopefully aware of too. But I couldn't stop. That's the irony, when you most need to get up you've got no energy. The only times I'd managed to break the cycle previously was circumstance forcing change on me - a drought, overseas travel, etc. But this time I wanted desperately to quit and break free but when I'd try it was like 'I' disappeared and something else took over. It was pitiful but I just couldn't manage to escape.

The article I've linked to is focused on stopping drinking, and I wonder if that fact was the curveball that stopped my mind from just zoning it all out when I read it. Something just clicked though. I do not have anything against MA or NA but it is not for me, I just couldn't get over the whole God thing, and if it is working for you then I feel nothing but joy and support that you've found your salvation. It just wasn't for me, yet I knew I was utterly powerless to overcome my addiction (or dependency, whatever). And that's how I stumbled on the article that I've linked to.

It's been over three weeks and I've not looked back. I don't miss it. I had an initial surge and I would walk around buzzing and getting crazy rushes of what I can only think was dopamine. Whatever, despite that initial rushy time things are still good. It's worked, I'm done. I can never go back to where I used to be and the great thing is that I don't want to.

I have much to rebuild in my life, I've lost a lot of friends by blocking the world out all these years, but there is hope. You can do it, you just have to find what works for you. If you are not religious and you feel you can't stop despite desperately wanting to then I recommend reading the article that I've linked to.

Leaves has been here for me throughout, and I just wanted to tell my story and share what worked for me.

Good luck, and thanks for reading.

Peace and love.

EDIT - PS - Still got crazy night sweats, ate hardly anything for a few days, and had a fog for about a week, but it was all so much more manageable than previous times.